It All Started In The Shower
by lizzystone
Summary: Colleen was a late in life witch. When she moved to London and became friends with Harry potter and co. she thought her troubles were over. That was until she got a suprise visit from Harry's dead godfather and chaos ensued.
1. A Late Bloomer

**Hey everyone, So this is a story about Colleen, a late in life witch and her many encounters with Sirius Black. This story takes place in 2010, so post DH obviously. I have reworked this chapter a little to make it more reader friendly hope, you like it! **

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**Chapter 1: A Late Bloomer**

This all started because I was a late bloomer. Not like puberty late bloomer, god no, that unfortunately, came super early. No, I mean a magical late bloomer, or a late in life witch. I'm sure you've heard of it somewhere along the line. But for those of you who don't know the details I'll give them to you. So without any further ado, here are the condensed and very basic facts about us late bloomers.

Number 1, there are very few late bloomers in the world, we are very rare. i.e. I am a freak among witches.

Number 2, they're always women. (This is clearly because women are way more powerful than men )

Number 3, we are always abnormally powerful, which is actually a pain in the ass. (You have all this power and absolutely no idea what to do with it)

Number 4, we're always muggleborn; (I have no idea why.)

Number 5, someone is always trying to kill us. (It's a drag really, but come on a super powerful woman; of course someone is trying to kill us.)

Now that we're all on the same page, for the most part anyway, I will tell you a generic version of my life story before I met Harry Potter and posse, which is what your all really interested in yeah? Here goes.

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I lived as a muggle until the Halloween morning of my 21st year. I woke up and I just felt different. I felt powerful, which was definitely something I never felt before. I was a university student studying psych. I hung out with my friends, got wasted on the weekends, dated a couple boys and was basically a normal woman. Everything changed that morning. Sometimes I wish I could have just kept on living my life like a regular girl.

But most of the time, even thought there is so much extra shit to deal with, I'm thankful I became a witch.

So that particular Halloween was on a school day and I had class, so I got up and was getting ready. I still lived with my parents and siblings, but they had already left for work and school that morning. As I was eating my breakfast there was a knock at the front door and my dogs started barking manically, which was weird because they were usually very quiet. I looked out the peep hole and saw a funnily dressed woman at the door.

I thought it might be the Jehovah's Witnesses (No offense). and so I didn't answer. The woman continued to knock and I heard her call my name. I wondered how she knew who I was and so grudgingly I opened the door.

Ms. Colleen McAvoy? The woman asked. Yes I replied. Then to make a long story short she told me I was a witch, about my powers. She swept me off to this tutor who taught me everything he knew about magic.

OK it was awesome I loved magic from the moment I got my hands on a wand. I was good at it too, which was surprising, cause I wasn't a very talented person before that.

So naturally I found out I was a witch in the middle of a war; a war on women to be exact. Think Iran on a bad day, and that was the witching/wizarding world of America. We had to wear these very nun like outfits when we went out into any wizarding area, they government had changed the school curriculum for girls, they were only learning very basic and householdish spells, we couldn't hold office, things like that.

Basically they were doing everything they could so that wizards would have the upper hand and all the power. I swear: keep em barefoot and pregnant should have been the country's motto.

Okay: So there is only one reason why one group oppresses another: fear. Fear that the oppressed group will rise up and do to them, what they have been doing all along. So basically, It was a bad time to be a late bloomer. A muggle born, powerful chick; I was practically enemy number 1. I pretty much had no idea what was going on. I knew however, I was certainly not going to stand for it. I like my rights, thank you very much.

So my tutors taught me everything they knew, which included how to defend myself. I got in quite a few minor scuffles here and there before shit hit the fan. So the powers at hand decided that I had way to much power for a chick and that threatening me didn't work so they went after my family and friends. How very Voldemortish of them, no?

So basically, I'm alone. My mentors and tutors, except for the one who betrayed us and told them who of mine to kill, were either dead or imprisoned, American ladies are suffering, and then I get word that my best friend in the whole world Jen, has been captured. That was the last straw, Who the hell did they think they were fucking with?

So me and my remaining witch and wizard compadres go and take out the president of oppression, Bolvechek, in a terribly violent manner that I won't go into details about; there was blood, lots of it, and get my friend back.

I summarized and made it much cooler than it actually was. For the most part I was scared shitless and had no idea what I was doing, but in the end we prevailed for the most part anyway. So now girls and boys learn the same things, witches can wear pretty much whatever they want, etc.

But here is the kicker. So a guy is still in charge of the American Wizarding Community, which would be fine, we had a lot of men fighting on our side. But this man Mackeson, is a douche, and I say that mostly because he told me I was not wanted in America and If I stayed I had to give up my wand. Now why would they kick out to the heroine of the god damn free world? Well my dears, this is why.

The seeds of inequality were planted deep, and although it was fine for Witches and Wizards to be equal, it was not fine for a woman to be in power. Myself being the most powerful thing around was quite a threat, it didn't help that there was that whole violent incident I mentioned before. So I was labled as an unstable, violent, crazy bitch and was ousted from my homeland.

Well more bribed than anything. Mackeson wasn't so stupid as to test my patience too much and so he gave me copious amounts of gold in exchange for my departure. But It all worked out for the best because I would have never met HP and co. if I had stayed in the good old U.S of A.

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I decided to go to London. Jen and I had studied abroad there at a muggle university, and I had the best time of my life. So I figured why not go back. Besides, I desperately wanted to see the wizarding world of London. I dragged Jen with me, we were pretty much the only people we knew in the world that was still alive, So we said our goodbyes and said hello London!

We decided to stay at the famed Leaky Cauldron, which was pretty nice for being 400 years old, way better than that Motel 6 in New Orleans anyway. No bugs or gunshots in this place(long story). So I had a lot of money, and I wanted a really stellar old London home, but as I could not find one that I really liked I was going on my 3rd week at the Leaky Cauldron.

The people of London had heard of me and were generally more welcoming of my presence than my fellow countrymen. I found that pretty much any country that has dealt w/ Voldemort, is cool with people who stand up against oppression and prejudice.

So I was meeting a few people here and there and was getting along really well with Hannah Abbot the owner of the Leaky Cauldron. She was dating Neville Longbottom, who we all know was friends w/ Harry Potter. Which is really how this whole story begins.

Hannah told me that Harry was selling a house that had once belonged to the famous Sirius Black. At first I thought it was Grimauld Place, but it wasn't and I was a little disappointed, but I digress. Anyway this was the house that Alphard Black had given to Sirius and Harry had inherited it upon Sirius' death. The black's were an old family and I figured this house might be cool, so I decided to contact Harry and have a look.

That is how I met Harry Potter and Friends. I bought the house which was this amazing 4 story London townhouse. It was very old and very ornately decorated, in a gothic style which I usually wouldn't have liked but it worked there, so I kept most of the things as they were.

Harry and I really got along, seeing as we had both vanquished evil wizards. Hermione, Ginny and I started hanging out and doing girly things together, which was a welcome release from all the violence and destruction in my life. Sometimes I think there is nothing better than watching the notebook, eating tons of Ice cream and painting your nails. Ron was very funny so of course I liked him, and my life seemed to be going quite swimmingly for once.

Until……

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	2. It All Started in the Shower

**Chapter 2: It All Started in the Shower**

**I hoped you liked the first chapter. This one should be better as we are introduced to Mr. Black, and of course this all belongs to JK Rowling.**

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It all started in the shower. Not exactly the most convenient place to meet someone for the first time but it started a long tradition of him always catching me in some state of undress.

I had just got home from watching James and Al for Ginny and Harry, and although I loved them, they always managed to vomit all over me. So it was about 1030p and, like I said I was showering. I had my eyes closed because I was washing my hair, when I felt a creepy feeling, like someone was watching me. My eyes snapped open, and they started burning. Damn shampoo.

"Ow. Shit!" I yelled as I hurriedly rinsed my eyes and hair all while feeling of being watched persisted. As soon as I could see again I decided that I had to open the curtain. I was a little scared and I sincerely hoped that there wasn't a murderer in the bathroom with me.

But I had had prior experience with murderers, too much even, so I thought if there was a murderer I needed something to protect myself with. There wasn't much to work with in there but I grabbed my Venus razor (deadly, I know), and a bottle of shampoo in preparation for battle. I slowly peaked my head out around the curtain and screamed at what I saw.

Oh hell no! I yelled. I was really hoping no one was in there and I was just being paranoid. But my hopes were dashed because there was a dark haired man in the bathroom sitting on top of the toilet lid.

I was pretty flippin freaked out; being murdered and/or raped was not on my list of things to do that night. So I was scared, and obviously not thinking clearly, anyways, I threw the bottle of shampoo at his head.

I had meant for the shampoo bottle to be used as a mock mace and squirt it in his eyes; that shit hurt, as I had just realized. But that is besides the point, I thought I missed, he didn't seem phased at all.

He just stared with an amused smirk (What the hell, right?) So I threw the razor at his face aiming for the eyes. If I had been smarter I would have just ran past him and used the razor to cut him as I went. But once again I wasn't thinking clearly.

You may be wondering how I defeated the most evil wizard In US history if I was terrified of a guy sitting in my bathroom, well I'll tell you; Preparation. I was prepared for that one. I was the one sneak attacking him, not the other way around. And don't even try to tell me you wouldn't be a little out of sorts is some strange dude was chilling in your bathroom while you showered.

But in the long run it wouldn't have mattered what I did or what I threw at him because I now noticed that I hadn't been missing. My items had been flying right through him. "Oh Jesus. I thought to myself. He's a fucking ghost.

I calmed down a little. But then became somewhat perplexed. Now I'm used to seeing ghosts. I am a witch after all, but this was different. He didn't really look like a ghost but he didn't really look like a man either: somewhere in between. He was practically solid, not that flowey see through shit, like for instance nearly headless nick, but he still wasn't quite there either.

I was still behind the shower curtain; even if he was dead I didn't want him to see me naked. But I needed to figure out this situation. Who are you and what do you want? Mustering up some courage, I demanded the ghost/man.

"I'm Sirius Black" He said looking up at me with a serious expression.

"WH…" I tried to ask him more but he faded and disappeared.

"What the hell? I asked my self.

Why was Sirius black in my bathroom? He is supposed to be dead, well I guess he clearly wasn't alive, but still. I didn't usually have friends dead godparents visiting me in the shower.

It was strange and I wondered if I should tell anyone. Harry would probably be interested, but then again he might be offended that Sirius hadn't appeared to him. Plus I still thought I might have been going a little crazy. Seeing dead people was never good. I didn't need my psych degree to tell me that. So I decided on telling my best friend Jen and that was all. She would believe, I was sure, I needed someone's opinion on the matter.

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Jen was in Romania with Charlie Weasley. They had met at last years Christmas diner at the Burrow. Seeing as both mine and Jen's family had been killed by Bolvechek. Something I had felt immensely guilty about.

After all if I had not become a witch, he would have never bothered with them. But, anyways we were at Christmas dinner and they were making googly eyes at each other the whole time. He asked her out that night and they spent every day of his Christmas Holiday together.

Arthur Weasley was thrilled, his child seeing a muggle, Molly was less thrilled, She had told Charlie that Jen reminded her too much of Sirius Black. Her sarcasm and riskiness was too similar to Harry's godfather, with whom she seldom got along. Indeed, she had even once insinuated that Jen was not quite right in the head, due to her family's murder. I assured her that Jen was always crazy as hell; it had nothing to do with the war. Molly never brought the subject up again.

When I thought of what Jen would have done if she would have happened on some guy taking a shower and decided her reaction would have been very similar to my shower experience with Sirius, it made me find the whole situation a lot funnier. It also made me like him a whole lot more.

When Charlie went back to Romania they did the long distance thing for about two months before she decided that she would move there to be with him, she always had been a sucker for redheads. I was happy for her, after all she had lost everybody she had loved too, but still I was a little lonely without my oldest friend.

I called her on my cell, another muggle habit that wouldn't die, and explained to her the whole situation and told her not to tell anyone. She found the whole thing ridiculously funny and laughed for about 3 minutes before she could tell me her opinion on the matter. She had no idea what to tell me, but I did feel better getting it off my chest.

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The week went by with no visits from Sirius black. I was beginning to think I had made up the whole scenario in my head. I felt like scrooge in the Christmas Carol, Sirius black was probably an old piece of cheese I had accidently ingested. It was a comforting thought, so much easier than dealing with the reality that the dead were coming to see me.

It was Friday night and I had a date with my Boyfriend, Blaise Zabini. I know, I know A Slytherin, That's what Ron said too but I did not have luxury of attending Hogwarts therefore I do not have the biases associated with it either; And besides he was really attractive, a generally nice guy, and rich as hell.

So, I suspected his mother of murdering her husbands, a minor glitch in our otherwise splendid relationship. So I was getting ready I had these really sexy red lace boy shorts on and I was searching for the bra to match them, when I had that feeling again. The creepy one.

I whipped around. And who was standing in my bedroom while I was half naked you ask. Why Sirius black of course, with a stupid grin on his face.

I gasped and covered my boobs w/ my arms.

"Get out of here!" I yelled at him.

He laughed and said. " It's not as if I'm trying to catch you in your skivvies. I just get sucked into wherever I go, I don't have a choice, Though I can't say I've been disappointed yet." He smirked, raising his eyebrows and pointing to my chest.

I grabbed a sheet of my bed and wrapped it around myself.

"This isn't that funny, it's embarrassing. I pointed out to him.

How humiliating, honestly.

"I find it rather amusing, myself." He replied. Well at least one of us does. I thought out loud. He had plopped himself down on the armchair in my room and continued staring at me. He did not even have the decency to turn around.

As soon as I was covered up and not worried about being seen nude, I grew curious at this situation, if these meetings were going to continue I realized I should probably be questioning him.

"So, why are you here? Can anyone else see you? " I asked him.

He thought about the question for a moment and said "I don't know why I'm here. For the past 13 years I've been popping in and out."

"I've seen Harry and Ron and everyone, but you're the first one to see me."

"Do you catch them when they're naked too?" I asked dryly.

He let out a bark like laugh and said "Nah, just you darling."

Ugh. "How lucky for me" I thought. I was going to ask him more, but he started fading out.

" Nice tits by the way." He said, winked at me and disappeared before I could protest

"Of, course I would get stuck with a smarmy ghost, of course."

I had officially decided that God was a pervert, why else would Sirius Black only appear when I'm naked? For God's kicks that's why.

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I was distracted the whole night and Blaise noticed something was off. When we went to bed I made sure all the lights were off before undressing, I kept expecting Sirius to pop up at any minute. That would cause some problems for sure, talk about performance anxiety.

I couldn't really concentrate on what I was doing, or get into it and the next morning, Blaise seemed somewhat upset. I told him I was sorry, it was just a bad day, and I left feeling somewhat guilty. Damn it Sirius black, you are ruining my sex life. I cursed at him, hoping that wherever he was he had heard.

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**Like it? Hate it? Let me know.**


	3. The Most Horrible Night of my Life

**Chapter 3: The Most Horrible Night of my Life**

**This chapter is a little smutty, just to warn you. Hope you guys are liking it so far; feel free to review. Nothing but Colleen belongs to me everything else is JKR.**

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**The Most Horrible Night of My Life**

Two nights later he appeared again. This time I was changing into my pj's. I saw him and quickly pulled the shirt over my head.

"What do you want now? You're such a perv, you know that?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I've been told that before. And I don't want anything, well except your name which you have never told me. I told you I can't choose who I come to I just end up here." He said exasperated.

"I thought I told you my name" I said to him, hadn't I?

"No, and I usually like to know the names of the women I see naked." He replied I bet he would not be so smug if I was the one popping up while he was nude, then again he probably wouldn't care.

"Whatever, it's Colleen McAvoy" I said glaring at him "so should I tell Harry about these little encounters we've been having?" I asked.

It had been getting harder for me to not tell him. He would love to know that his Godfather was still out there watching over him.

"No, I think it would just upset him that you can see me and he can't." Sirius said.

I agreed with him, it certainly wasn't fair that I had never met him in life yet I was the one graced with his presence a few times a week.

"Yeah, I thought so too." I agreed.

"So why do you think I can see you and no one else can, I didn't even know you." He looked every bit as confused as I was.

"How very unfortunate for you." He winked at me, and I rolled my eyes. "But I have no idea why you can see me, are you particularly powerful, or a seer or something." He asked, as he threw himself down onto my bed.

I hated questions like these, because technically I am very powerful, but I'd rather not talk about it. It gets me nothing but trouble.

"Yeah, I'm a late bloomer." I said quietly.

"Oh, wow." He said surprised. "I didn't know those still existed, I expect that's our reason then."

"But why when I'm undressed?" I asked him.

"I honestly don't know, maybe it's my reward for being such a wonderful person, or maybe the higher powers feel bad for giving me such a shitty life and their making up for it." He said sarcastically.

"Well, that would fit into my idea that God is an old pervert, but if you were being rewarded I would sincerely hope they would give you someone better than me to look at, maybe Angelina Jolie?" I said to him.

"Who's Angelina Jolie?" he asked

"Oh, I forgot you're a dead wizard; she is a beautiful muggle actress that everyone wants to see naked." I informed him.

"Well, you're the first naked woman I've seen in a while, but from what I remember, you hold up nicely." He said attempting to pat me on the shoulder.

I say attempted because when he should have made contact his hand just slid through as if I weren't there and gave me a chill.

"That was weird and cold." I said to him.

"It was very warm to me." He replied.

Huh.

He shrugged his shoulders, and was about to say something when he began to fade, out.

"Till next time then" he said right before he disappeared.

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The following weekend was possibly the most horrifying night of my entire life. and that is saying something, when you look at my history.

I had gone out with Blaise to this ridiculously romantic i.e. expensive restaurant; after dinner was over I went back to his house/mansion, as I usually spent the weekends there.

I hadn't seen Sirius in a while and honestly, he was the last thing on my mind at that point.

So Blaise and I were really starting to get into it, when I heard " Oh, bloody hell." In a voice that was not Blaise's.

My head looked over Blaise's shoulder and I was horrified, Standing in at the foot of the bed was who?

Sirius Black of course.

My mouth dropped open. It was truly horrible, possibly my worst nightmare. I started waving my hand, motioning Sirius to get out of the room as I was muttering Oh my god, oh my god.

Blaise, apparently thought this dialogue was just me enjoying myself, and began much to my embarrassment, talking dirty. Sirius was laughing ridiculously hard, for such a traumatic experience.

"what a dolt! If he only knew I was the one making you scream." Sirius said through his laughing. Can you believe him? I continued to wave him out of the room.

But apparently he was having too much fun humiliating me.

"What, What is it Darling? I can't understand you, you need to speak up." Sirius mocked me.

Blaise was showing no signs of stopping, and I shot a pleading look towards Sirius.

"Alright, I'm leaving." He said but as he tried to leave the room he was physically prohibited by something. He attempted again, but still nothing.

"I'm stuck." He said trying again, looking at me and throwing up his arms in defeat

"I'll just have to wait it out". I could tell he was uncomfortable, not as uncomfortable as me but still. At least he did have the decency to turn around and not look this time.

Blaise was still going 10 minutes later.

Sirius shouted, "Will he ever bloody finish, Jesus!"

I was beginning to think the same thing when I heard Blaize groan and then he rolled off of me.

"Finally." I heard Sirius mumble, "I thought it would never end." Blaise fell asleep, soon after, and Sirius was still stuck in the room with us.

"Well, that was the most horrible experience I have ever had!" I yelled in a hushed tone.

"It certainly wasn't very pleasant for me, either." Sirius said looking rather disturbed. 'You know I always expected watching someone go at it would be just like porn. I was terribly mistaken. You didn't even get off." He said casually.

He did not just say that. Seriously, I had never had any complaints about Blaise, I was just distracted. You would be too, If a ghostly pervert appeared while you were doing it.

"What! I would have if you hadn't of popped yourself in." I yelled at him in a still hushed tone so as not to wake my sleeping lover.

"Calm down Darling, I didn't say it was your fault; he seemed to be enjoying himself well enough." Sirius said pointing to a sleeping Blaize. "I'm merely suggesting you find a man that can take care of you. I know I have never left a woman unsatisfied."

Oh, God "We are not having this conversation, and I'll have you know I am perfectly satisfied with my sex life, and if a woman wasn't satisfied with you I doubt she would tell you to your face."

He probably never satisfied a woman in his life, I thought to myself, but then I looked at him again, he was cocky and attractive and something about him told me that he probably had satisfied women in ways I could only dream. Damn it get your head out of the gutter McAvoy!" I yelled at myself internally.

"Your loss then" He said before fading out. This was really just not acceptable, how was I to have a normal life when I was being haunted.

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**Hoped you liked it, please review.**


	4. A Near Death Experience and a Party

**What an uncomfortable situation they got themselves into, no? Anyways I hope you like the story, don't forget to review. Oh and I own nothing but Colleen and Jen, everything else is the property of Ms. Rowling. **

**A Near Death Experience and A Party **

One day Sirius popped in while I was taking a shower, I liked it best when he did, because he would announce his presence while I was still safely behind the curtain. I was glad he came that day though, because it was James' Birthday party.

"Oh, good I'm glad you're here. It's James' Birthday party today." I told him while grabbing a towel off the rack. I wrapped myself fully before I exited the shower. "You'll get to come too." The Potter's parties were always good fun.

"I wish I could really be there." Sirius replied sadly. "It's so bloody frustrating having to watch everyone else have these amazing lives and I am stuck in this in between place." He vented to me.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I can't imagine what that's like, but I'm sure it's not fun. But hey look on the bright side, if you were alive and here you would have never seen the goods." I said motioning to myself.

"Please, if I were alive you would be tearing your clothes off at the sight of me. I was irresistible." He said haughtily.

"In your dreams, Sirius" I rolled my eyes at him. " I don't have dreams, but I assure you if I did, that is exactly what would be happening in them." He told me with a cocky grin. " Pervert" I called him "Turn around I need to get dressed."

"So where do you go when your not haunting me?" I asked him once I was dressed. He was sitting on my bed and I began to put on my makeup. " I don't really know, I know I see Harry and Ron sometimes, but it's mostly just been you lately." He replied.

"So, you don't go to like heaven or anything?" I inquired. That was interesting to me, because I was raised on good people go to Heaven.

"Well, I might. I know there is this place I go and I'm really happy there, but I have no idea where it is or what is going on." He said

"So maybe that's my Heaven." That was comforting to me, I would hate him to be stuck watching me for the rest of his afterlife.

He changed his tone suddenly as he looked at me "How, much bloody makeup do you wear?" I wasn't even half done. "It takes a lot for me to look decent" I shrugged and continued to apply. " I don't know why you bother, everyone's looking at your tits anyway."

"Sirius, you're such a boy!" I yelled at him. I did not need to know this, and I refused to believe it. "Are you calling me a butter face? I said offended. He laughed, I was surprised he understood the term.

"No, of course I appreciate your pretty face, but it's all about the tits and ass." He stated again unapologetically. "You are not normal, you know that right?" I asked him. "Darling, I am perfectly normal."

A half hour later I was completely ready. "How are we getting there?" Sirius asked me. "Well, I was going to apparate, but I don't know if you'll be able to stick with me and I don't suppose you can floo?" I asked

"I don't think so." He replied. "Well, that's okay, I'll just drive then." I love to drive but there was the whole issue of driving on the opposite side of the road from which I was taught to drive on. Sirius was dead so, it wouldn't be any danger to him, but as for the other people on the road I wasn't so sure.

We got into the car and I buckled my seatbelt. "You, do know what you're doing right?" Sirius asked me warily. "Sure, I drive awesome in America; I just have to remember to stay on the other side of the road." I said calmly.

"I'm glad I'm dead." Sirius said laughing. "It'll be fine." I assured him, and gave myself a mental pep talk. Grimauld Place was only a few minutes away what could go wrong?

A lot apparently; I did fine until I had to turn onto a one way street, and unfortunately one way streets go the opposite way of what they should in England. "AHHH!" Sirius and I both screamed as I turned into oncoming traffic.

"Were gonna die!" I yelled. People were honking their horns and sticking their heads out the window yelling at me before I finally came to Grimauld Place and got my car into the right direction. I pulled into a parking spot with my heart racing, and trying to recover from my near death experience.

I looked over at Sirius and we both busted out laughing. "Okay, so we took a minor detour, but you know I think it got us here faster than it would have had I followed the driving laws." I said in between gasps for breath.

" I think we are going to have to find out if I can apparate with you or not in the future." Sirius said. "Yeah, yeah, come on let's go in and try not to talk to me. I don't want to look insane if I answer to no one." I instructed him.

I knew this was going to be hard for both of us. He was used to talking and I was used to answering, but I figures as long as he didn't address me directly we would be okay.

I walked into Grimauld place and looked at Sirius as I did. I wondered what he thought of Harry living there and all the changes they had made to it. I doubted he minded, apparently he had hated the house. I would have to ask him when we were alone.

Ginny came over and took the gift I had brought from me, as I walked into the parlor where the party was being held. There were balloons everywhere and banners that said "Happy Birthday James Sirius Potter!"

Everyone sat around for hours eating and drinking and celebrating. James opened his gifts like a maniac and had to play with all his toys right away. I had given him a set of Quidditch figures that flew around and played an actual game.

As he played with them one flew up my skirt and he reached his hand up to get it. "James!" Ginny yelled. But we were all laughing as James realized what he had done and went red with embarrassment. "It's okay; he was just living up to his namesake." I said.

"Yeah, Lupin informed us many times that my dad and Sirius were always chasing skirts." Harry told me.

"I guess that's what I get for naming my son after the two most infamous Marauders." Everyone laughed. I looked over at Sirius and found him laughing too. I suddenly got a lump in my throat.

For the first time I really realized what it had to be like for Sirius, to watch the people he loved move on and live their lives while he had to sit on the sidelines. It had to be especially hard for a man who was always in the action, as Sirius had been.

I also realized how unfair his life had been. He was only 22 when he was locked away in Azkaban, that's younger than I am now.

He caught me looking at him and said. "That's not true; James and I were polite gentleman, always." I rolled my eyes at him as if to say "I'm sure"

"Sooo" I asked Harry. "What was Sirius like, Molly always says Jen reminds her of him." Hahaha I was going to get the dirt on Sirius, with him in the room. I shot and playfully evil glance at him.

"He was great, you would have liked him, and he does act like Jen in a lot of ways." Harry said. "Like how?" I asked. Everyone always said that but never gave examples.

"Well, he was very blunt and sarcastic" Said Ron. "And they share a general disregard for rules." Hermione added. " They both throw ridiculous temper tantrums" Harry added." I had yet to see Sirius' tantrums but I had seen Jen's and they were epic.

I laughed, and looked at Sirius. "I do not have temper tantrums, what am I six?" he said. "Sirius was always a badass and so is Jen."

Ginny said. "But you know, I don't think they would have gotten along very well. They are too much alike; I think they would have rubbed each other the wrong way."

"You on the other hand would have gotten along swimmingly with him. He always had a thing for blondes." Harry stated. "I don't know he sounds rather annoying." I said to Harry but looked directly at Sirius. "Nah, he was fun when he was in a good mood." Harry informed me and Sirius faded out with that comment.

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	5. He loves Me Right?

**New Chapter, this one is a little longer. Hope you like. JK owns everything except my oc. **

**He Loves Me. Right? **

It was two months after James' Birthday party and I was about to meet Blaise's mother for the first time. Needless to say I was more than a little nervous. It was his mother's anniversary party. Celebrating 5 years with her 5th husband, what a feat, no?

So not only would she be there, but his entire family as well as all his Slytherin mates, that I was pretty sure would not get along with me, seeing as I was friends with mostly Gryffindors.

It was silly to think that almost 15 years out of school ad they still had a rivalry with each other. But unfortunately for me they did. Hermione and Ginny came over earlier and helped me decide on what to wear and gave me their sympathies for the upcoming event.

"You know his mum killed all of her previous husbands, they never lasted more than two years. She must really like this guy" Ginny said to me as I threw outfits from my closet.

"Blaise told me not to believe any of the rumors, He said she just has bad luck with love." I told them. "But personally I agree with you." I laughed.

"Aren't you ever worried he is going to take after his mum? do you in?" Hermione asked as she sifted through my shoes. Actually the thought very seldom went through my mind; maybe I just had my guard down, but I highly doubted that Blaise had it in him to kill anyone, no matter the reason.

"I've dealt with way worse men than Blaise Zabini, trust me. Besides he has nothing to gain from killing me, he's already rich and I sleep with him, so he does have something to lose." I pointed out.

"Still…" Hermione said warily. "Oh, Hermione, Blaise is not going to kill me, well as long as I make a good impression tonight anyway" I replied.

Ginny had picked out a nice but conservative robe for me to wear, as she had heard that Druella, Blaise's mum, always liked to be the center of attention and I was attempting not to draw any focus off her. Blaise had already warned me that she was not very nice. As I was pulling off my bathrobe Sirius popped in.

Of course, just as he entered Ginny exclaimed. "Colleen, your boobs are huge!" Sirius started laughing and I quickly put on a bra. "They're not that big, Ginny, there's no need to shout it to the world." I replied embarrassed.

"You are so lucky. I've got nothing" Hermione said poking her own rather small chest. I needed to change the subject; I doubt they would want Sirius Black hearing their body image issues.

"Is this really what women talk about?" Sirius asked me, and I lightly shook my head yes to answer.

"Come on guys I do not need to feel anymore self conscious tonight than I already do." I said hoping it would get them to shut up. It did. I finished getting dressed and Sirius stayed quiet until the girls left. "Good luck" Ginny smiled at me as she left. "I'm going to need it" I replied dryly.

"So tonight's the big night eh?" Sirius asked me once they were gone. "Yes and I think I'm going to throw up." I told him. I was really nervous. I needed a drink. "You'll be fine and besides apparently I'm coming with you. I dealt with people like this half my life." He reassured me.

Somehow that statement was comforting, but not at all at the same time. Yes Sirius had grown up in a pureblood Slytherin family, but he was the black sheep, so that really didn't help me.

"May I remind you that your family kicked you out for dealing with them so well" I said. He laughed and replied "Well, they didn't let me go without learning a few things did they?"

Just then Blaise flooed into the living room " Hey Colleen are you ready?" I heard him yell. I threw Sirius a nervous glance before responding "yeah, I'm coming." I made my way down the steps.

"You're wearing that?" Blaise asked me as he surveyed my outfit as I reached the living room. "Yes, is there something wrong with it?" I asked. As If I wasn't nervous enough the boy had to go and insult my outfit.

"No, it looks good. It's just, well I told you my mum get real jealous around other women, especially ones younger than her," He said carefully. I admit this pissed me off.

" Oh, Christ Blaise. What do you want me to do put on the fucking nun's habit I had to wear at home? Your mother is just going to have to get over it" I snapped at him.

She was going to have to deal; the outfit I was wearing was the nicest conservative robes I had and I knew they wouldn't appreciate my muggle clothes. I was really dreading going to this thing now."

"Your right" he said "It'll be fine" He grabbed my arm and we apparated to his mother's mansion. It was ridiculously huge and grand; hell I might have killed my husbands too, If it got me a place like this.

We walked into the main room where the party was being held. It was all rather beautifully set up with candles and fairly lights. I knew who his mother was right away, it wasn't hard to tell.

She looked just like Blaise except she had chestnut brown hair instead of dark blonde; she was very beautiful and I saw why men flocked to her. She stood in the middle of the room laughing with a drink in her hand and the most expensive and ornate robes in the room.

Her husband was also easily recognizable he was the oldest person there and he looked incredibly bored and confused. Still he was wearing very fine clothing and I could tell he had been attractive at one time. I wondered what her other husbands had looked like.

Blaise ushered me towards his mother. I could hear Sirius next to me say. "His mother is Druella Butler? You are scared to meet Druella Butler?' Colleen, please. Don't worry about her she's a bitch but she's trashy."

"I went to Hogwarts with her; she let me fuck her in a broom closet. She wasn't very good either; I suppose she passed that talent down to her son" He told me.

Eww; I did not need to know that, and once again he was dissing on Blaise's bedroom skills. Honestly you'd think he'd had personal experience. Maybe he did, I made a mental note to ask Sirius about it later.

I wasn't surprised by the fact that Sirius had slept with Druella though. Sirius was not only a man whore but he was a rich man whore from an old family. Of course Blaise's mum would want to get in on that, it would annoy him.

I let out a small laugh when Sirius told me this, but stifled it as I realized what was about to happen. "Mum, this is my girlfriend Colleen." Blaise told Druella when we got to her.

She stared me up and down with a haughty, slightly disatisfied look on her face. "Charmed, I'm sure." She said to me holding out her hand to me. What? Were we in a Disney movie now?

"It's so nice to finally meet you; Blaise had told me so much about you." I said shaking her hand politely. No need for me to be rude, even if she was going to be.

"He has told me so much about you as well; at first I couldn't see why he would ever date an American, they're so common, but I see now you're very pretty aren't you." She said to me, it sounded like she wished I hadn't been.

"I can't believe she just said that to you." Sirius said looking pissed "what a bitch, you are not common" He assured me.

I can't say I wasn't offended,by the woman's comments, but fortunately I was a great ass kisser. "Oh, well thank you, but no where near as beautiful as you." I replied with a sickly sweet smile. "Well, very few people can match my beauty." She said. I just smiled

I could not believe people actually acted like this. I felt like I was in Pride and Prejudice. Sirius seemed to have read my mind.

"What the bloody hell, you honestly want to get into this family?" Sirius said in shock, and he started hitting her with his hand. Although it was not actually making contact I could see she was getting the chills from it.

Get her Sirius! I thought to myself. That'll teach her to insult me. I'll have my dead transparent friend kick your ass. sorta.

Blaise took me away after that. "I'm sorry; I warned you she could get jealous." Blaise said to me once we were out of earshot." I laughed "I found it rather amusing actually."

Blaise then took me over to meet Draco Malfoy and his wife. They looked very posh and aristocratic, but not in a good way. I must say this was one of the most boring parties I had ever attended, no one was even drunk.

" Draco, Asteria this is Colleen." Blaise said introducing me to them. " Nice to meet you" I replied politely. Hermione and Ginny had warned me they might be there and I could tell why they didn't like him.

Draco gave me a curt nod as did his wife and then she said "Oh your that muggle born American girl that everyone was talking about." She said both muggleborn and American as if they were dirty words.

"Is it true you never attended a proper magic academy?" she asked, her question was loaded. "Yes, I'm a late in life witch, I was tutored." "How interesting; Isn't it Draco." She asked her husband. He gave me a distasteful glare "I don't see what's so interesting about her, not being properly taught magic." He replied. I hate him, I hate him.

"I can assure I was well educated by my teachers. Is it true you never finished Hogwarts?" I asked him, the bastard. "Well, done Ms. McAvoy" I heard Sirius say, as he gave a slow clap.

"Oh….Well I didn't need it, the school was teaching me nothing I didn't already know" he replied flushed. Hahaha I thought to myself.

His wife seemed to sense his embarrassment and retotrted with "So, I hear you were exiled from the U.S. why would they do that, I thought you saved them from oppression or something."

Touche, I thought. Well if they weren't going to like me I might as well have them fear me, right? "I killed too many people, in a much too violent way" I stated very in a very straightforward manor.

"Apparetly, they were worried I might do it again, which is just silly, I am perfectly agreeable when not provoked." I said as I walked away with a smile. They were really horrible people. Blaise was going to get it when I got home. He didn't even stand up for me.

"They are assholes, I see why Harry and him never got on." Sirius told me ,as I made my way to the bathroom to hide for a while. I was used to people not liking me, but not so openly. They were all incredibly rude and stuck up. Sirius had to follow me into the bathroom.

"Get in the shower" I told him "I have to pee." He did as I instructed and shut the shower curtain. "This is miserable" I whispered to him. "I wonder if Blaise would notice if I left?"

"Probably, but I doubt he would blame you for leaving after that display from the Malfoy's" Sirius said from behind the curtain. "I know, but then again I don't want them to think I can't handle them either" I said as I weighed my options.

Leave and keep my pride or suck it up, be humiliated but show them they can't break me. Obviously option number 2 was the choice. Damn it.

When I exited the bathroom and went back into the party, I noticed Blaise sitting down talking to Millicent Bullstrode. She was not a cute girl at all, to the point where I almost felt sorry for her. But Blaise didn't seem to mind as they were practically dry humping each other.

Some girls deserve to be ugly and she was one of them the insides matched the outs in this case. "So he's dating you?" she asked me. I replied to her with a yes, where was she going with this?

"Oh, you must feel awfully lucky; he must like your accent. You probably didn't have many boyfriends at home did you? And here you got such a catch." She replied as she rubbed Blaise's back. He said nothing in my defense and refused to meet my eyes.

I cannot believe she just said that too me. I was shocked and it took me a minute to respond. It was obvious she was after Blaise so I would just have to hit her where it hurts.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with these people?" Sirius yelled. "I suggest you break up, with that asshole immediately and leave him to that ugly bitch, I'm sure she wouldn't mind vanilla sex.

Sirius was probably right I really didn't want to have to live my life going through this ordeal at every holiday. But I couldn't give Blaise up to Millicent Bullstrode, I loved him.

"Yeah, I am so lucky." I told her as I bent down and gave Blaise a long kiss. I hated PDA but it was worth it for the look on her face. "Let's go home, Blaise" I said in my most seductive voice.

How could he turn me down? He thought he would be getting laid, unfortunately for him he thought wrong. I was going to kick the shit out of him when I got home.

We got back to my house and I ripped Blaise a new asshole, for the entire party situation and for Bullstrode. He had serious issues if he thought I was just going to let that slide.

He really had no defense for himself and so he just got mad and stormed out. "Can you believe him?" I asked Sirius who had witnessed the whole thing. "He's a dick, I told you to leave him." Sirius said shrugging.

"I can't leave him, I love him; he is just an idiot." I replied sadly.

"Don't lie to yourself, you don't love him and he doesn't love you. If he did he wouldn't be all over Millicent Bullstrode. I think something's going on between them. "

I did ot need to hear this. I didn't think Blaise would cheat on me, but maybe he was. But then again I donn't know what he would see in Millicent Bullstrode, and I was reasured that he was faithful.

"Sirius! You are not helping me at all. Blaise loves me, he said so." He didn't know that, Blaise did love me; I was sure of it. "I bet his mother tells all her husbands she loves them too, right before she kills 'em." He said sarcastically.

I was going to yell at him some more but he faded out. "Think about it" he said right before he disappeared completely. Damn it Sirius Black!

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	6. Vodka and Pumpkins

**Here is a new chapter. It's just a silly one about Colleen and Sirius. Enjoy.**

**And I'm sure you all know I own nothing but the oc. **

**Vodka and Pumpkins **

I had thought a lot over the next week about what Sirius had said about Blaise. I concluded that Blaise was not cheating on me, he didn't have the time.

And besides the British wizarding community was small, and prone to gossip. Surely I would have heard something through the grapevine, if he was having an affair.

It was stress that I did not need at this time of year. It was the 1st of October in 3 days it was going to be the two year anniversary of my families murder. In 4 days it would be the 2 year anniversary of the murder of anyone else I had ever talked to.

I decided times like these called for alcohol and in large quantities. I went down to the kitchen and opened my liquor cabinet; and was met with a full stock.

What to choose? What to Choose? Not firewhiskey, that shit was nasty,

wine? Eh, too slow,

butterbeer? Too mild.

Aha there it was; my old friend vodka.

I grabbed the crystal skull that the liquor was held in and went to the fridge to get the cranberry juice. Vodka w/ a splash of juice, my signature drink; the perfect thing when one was wallowing in sorrow.

3 glasses and 40 minutes later I was a little tipsy, well who am I kidding I was tanked. I looked at the clock and they both read 11:30 pm; it was the perfect time to go pumpkin picking.

I was in my pajamas and needed to put on a stealthier outfit if I was to be raiding a muggle farm at this time of night. I could have cloaked my self with an invisibility charm or some kind of concealment, but where was the fun in that?

And actually at the time it didn't even cross my mind, I always reverted back to the muggle way of life when drinking. Old habits die hard I suppose. So I ripped off the nightgown I had on and Sirius popped in the room.

That man had stellar timing. I mean I think people would pay good money for the ability to sense exactly when a woman undressed.

"Are you pissed?" he asked me smirking.

He must have noticed as I made no attempt to cover myself up and because I fell over my own foot. "yup" I answered him from the floor where I was sprawled out face down.

"I'm going pumkin pikin" I sang to him as I managed to pull myself off the floor. I noticed him staring at my boobs, but I was too drunk too care at all. It didn't register as an option for me to hide from him.

He laughed at me and said "well , I guess that means I am also going pumpkin picking." Yes! A partner in crime; and he would be very sneaky seeing as he was silent and invisible to everyone but me.

"Okay, these are the rules" I told him seriously " number one, we find a pumpkin patch. Number two: we sneak into the patch and find a pumpkin, and number three we take the pumpkin and get the fuck out of there. No man gets left behind, you got that?"

"I'm ready." He stated. Mind you I was still half naked and informed him I had to put on my ninja clothes for this mission.

After I was dressed I took one more shot and then grabbed the bottle of Vodka, "This is coming with me" I told him.

What I liked about Sirius was that where as everyone else would have tried to talk me out of this, he was quite encouraging.

"Okay, I know there used to be this pumpkin patch that James' mum would always get their pumpkins and apples from, it's right near Hogsmeade." He informed me.

"Good, that makes this much easier, no muggles." I said thankful, finding the patch was half the battle. "Come on then Sirius, off to Hogsmeade." I said as I apparated to the little town.

When we arrived it was almost midnight and the village was dark and quiet. Sirius ushered me down a long twisted road for about a mile, well it seemed like a mile to my drunk ass anyway, it was probably only a couple blocks.

We came upon the scene. A huge patch bathed in moonlight, filled with glorious orange pumpkins.

"Okay Sirius, this is where it gets tricky" The mission impossible theme song was playing in my head as I dove into the patch. It was going to be difficult finding the right pumpkin, but I was sure I could accomplish the task.

"Sirius! Get down" I yelled in a hushed tone when I noticed he was not army crawling as I was but having a leisurely stroll through the pumpkins. "Do you want to get caught?" I asked him as he grudgingly got onto his belly.

"You do realize that no one can see me but you right?"

"Sirius, shut it don't be a naysayer." I said in retort. Honestly, you think someone in the OOTP would know how to covert.

He laughed "Well I wouldn't want you to get caught. I can just see the headlines in the prophet. Colleen McAvoy, Savior of America found talking to herself in Pumpkin Patch."

I was too busy scoping out the pumpkins to really be listening to him. As I snaked through the vines, I realized that they were quite sharp and I was bleeding. "Oh, hell" I said aloud as I reached for the Vodka in my bag.

In a moment of rational, I had meant for the alcohol to clean the wounds. But seeing as I was clearly intoxicated I lost that rational rather quickly, and took a swig instead.

"Colleen! How much have you drunk tonight?" Sirius questioned concerned yet amused. " I don't know, not enough." I replied Then I began too feel very sleepy.

I decided to have a rest for a minute; it would have been nice if Black hadn't been telling me to get up the entire time.

"In a minute" I told him annoyed. And that was the last thing I remember.

I woke up to blinding light in my eyes and a pounding headache. Where the hell am I?" I asked myself aloud. I was face down in some sort of field, and I was terribly disoriented.

I sat up reluctantly and surveyed the area. A pumpkin patch? Why the hell was I in a pumpkin patch?

Then the previous nights events came back to me little by little. "Damn I didn't even get my pumpkin."

I heard a bark like laugh behind me and I groaned in pain as I turned to see what it was.

"I thought you would never wake up. It was the most boring 5 hours of my death, just watching you passed out." He said still looking rather amused."I wish we had a bloody mirror, or a camera so you could see yourself."

"Why, what's wrong with me?" I asked him as I checked my self all over. Maybe I did look a mess, If i looked as bad as I felt It was probably quite frightening for him.

"Oh, nothing, you just have vines and leaves in your hair, are covered in blood and dirt, otherwise you're just fine." He stated.

I started laughing, when I thought about the mess I had gotten myself into. "You are bloody crazy darling, and I mean that in the best way possible" Sirius told me laughing "You have no idea how jealous I am that you are alive having all the fun."

He said it as he laughed but I could detect a hint of sincerity in his tone, and I had a terrible feeling in my stomach that had nothing to do with my hangover. "Don't be jealous, I feel like hell, at least the dead don't get hangovers." I reminded him.

"I wouldn't mind a hangover; that would just mean I had a good night" Sirius responded. I just smiled at him. I had nothing to say that would make him feel any better and I obviously couldn't relate to what he was going through, so I kept silent.

"I'm gonna go home and go to bed for the rest of the day" I told Sirius as I grabbed the nearest pumpkin and apparated home. He shook his head"I think that's a good idea.

When I got there he wasn't with me anymore, and so I figured he went; back to wherever it was he came from and I went to my bed for some much needed sleep.

**Someone please review. I am the only person on this damn site with nothing! **


	7. We'll Never Watch Titanic Again

**Hi guys, I saw I have a bunch of hits but not one review. Let me know how I'm doing. JK owns everything. **

**We'll Never Watch Titanic Again**.

Each time Sirius would stay longer and longer before returning to wherever it was he went. I often wondered if all dead people pop in and out like this and just for some reason I could see him.

He didn't know. Eventually I would be stuck with him for the entire day. He still always caught me naked, but after 8 months I was so used to it I didn't even worry about it.

I just grabbed something to cover myself with and went on my way. It was a strange situation because I came to call him one of my best friends, even though he was dead. But then again most of my friends were dead.

He was someone who lost everything and I could relate to that, and although we never really talked about my family or James, Lily and Remus, I felt like he out of anyone got it. He knew what it felt like to be all alone.

And anyways, all my other friends were married with babies, or living in Romania and Blaise was a very serious person, so it was nice to hang out with someone unattached and funny, and he did remind me a lot of Jen.

Speaking of Blaise, he had become rather distant after his mother's anniversary party. I suspected her reaction to me had something to do with it. I didn't want to lose him, but at the same time, if he was embarrassed by me I could find someone else.

Sirius still didn't like Blaise and verbally attacked him whenever possible. I explained to Sirius that it wasn't fair to do seeing as Blaise had no chance to defend himself, but he said this made it much funnier.

I actually liked that no one else could see him, I think every woman should at least have one big secret in her life and he was mine. Although I was beginning to think people thought I was crazy, maybe I was.

If we went out on the streets it was much easier to stay in the muggle parts of town, I would put a Bluetooth on my ear and no one would look twice about me talking to him.

If we went to Diagon Alley or the Ministry or somewhere magical it was harder to conceal that I was talking to an invisible person. Plus he thought it was funny to say things to get a rise out of me when he knew I could answer or defend myself.

As a result I had perfected a death glare, although it never seemed to frighten him much. One day he had to come to Gringott's with me and he insinuated that a goblin would be a better boyfriend than Blaise.

Obviously, I couldn't say anything as we were in public with about a hundred other people, but I gave him and evil stare down. He let out his stupid bark like laugh. He continued his assault on me as I took the car down to my vault.

"American's must all be pansies if they thought you were the most dangerous thing there" He said to me. "I think you are the least frightening person I have ever met."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged at him. I was tough Damn it.

"Honestly, I can't even imagine you in a duel, you're too nice and happy, what do you do shoot rainbows them?" He asked me laughing. He was not funny.

I was deadly, I was Edmond Dantes, I was Joan of Arc, I fucking Beatrice Kiddo! Rainbows; I'll shove rainbows up his ass and see what he thinks then. I thought to myself.

" and, you are terribly tiny for such a threat to the free world. What are you 5 foot?" He asked me squinting one eye and attempting to size me up. If he wasn't dead I would have killed him.

Five three I motioned with my hands giving him a look. "Oh, sorry 5'3 then" He said putting up his hands. He let up for a while; he knew what was good for him apparently.

I got my gold and then flooed home, we had figured out that he would stay with me when I apparated and flooed. "You are such a Bastard!" I yelled at him laughing as soon as we were in my living room.

I threw a book at him and even though it flew through his head, I still felt better. I wasn't really angry and he knew it. I was fairly good at taking a joke, and he was funny.

"If you saw me with Bolvechek you would be cowering in fear from me right now, everyone who saw it does." I said as I sat down on my sofa.

We were quiet for a minute." What did you do to him, to make everyone think you are so unstable, I still have my rainbow theory." Sirius said sitting down next to me.

Ugh, I really didn't want to go into this but I figured if there was anyone who would understand revenge it was Sirius Black.

"Nothing, he didn't deserve." I stated "He murdered every person I knew, except for Jen, but that's just 'cause I got there in time for her." I paused I really didn't like reliving this, but I hadn't really talked to anyone about it yet.

"So, what did you do to him? You can tell me, it's not as if I can tell anyone else, and please I was also a crazy murder, or at least an attempted one, I won't judge." He said smiling.

I guessed it would be okay to tell him, he really didn't have anyone to tell and I thought he would get it better than most.

"Okay, basically I found out what he had done to my family and I freaked out." I paused for a moment in thought. "I think that was his point, he wanted me to come after him, but I doubt he anticipated the results. I'm sure he thought I would come to him a weak, pathetic little girl, begging him to stop, ready to give up." I told Sirius.

"But you didn't" Sirius said. "No, I didn't. I was beyond furious, beyond devastated; there really aren't words for what I felt." I told him as the emotions started coming back.

"If he knew what I was capable of he never would have dared, fucking with me. I really did go crazy for a while. "

"I gathered everyone who was still alive to help and we found Bolvechek just waiting for us. He had a small army, but I could have cared less about them. I wanted him to suffer." I told Sirius and he looked like he completely understood.

" So luckily, the people I was with took care of his army and left Bolvechek to me. I think he was scared, he certainly hadn't expected us to fight back. So we dueled for a while and I disarmed him. By that time his allies had all been taken down and were either dead or stunned."

"But you killed him? Didn't you?" Sirius asked me. "I more than killed him. I tortured him for over an hour. The muggle way." I stated,

Sirius did not look appalled as I would have expected. I was surprised because sometimes, not often, but every once in a while even I was appalled at the things I had done.

"I used petrificus totallus on him and then I literally tore him apart in front of everyone until he bled to death. I think everyone was too scared to tell me to stop." I told him somberly.

"So that's why they wanted me out of the country. They were afraid I would flip out again, but I wouldn't" I assured Sirius. "I just lost it for a little while."

"I believe you" he told me. "I would have done the same thing; I did try to do the same thing, to Peter. I know you're not crazy, well at least not that crazy, I mean you are talking to a dead guy that no one else can see." He laughed.

"Thanks, Sirius that makes me feel so much better." I said sarcastically. "Anytime, darling" he replied. I liked how nothing was ever too heavy with him.

After that conversation I wanted to do something distracting and I felt like I needed Ice cream and Champagne, so I went to the kitchen and filled up. "

That is an interesting combination." Sirius said pointing to my chocolate ice cream and champagne flute.

"What, it's good" I told him as I shoved a spoonful into my mouth. "Let's watch a movie," I suggested going over to my entertainment center. "How about Titanic?" I asked him holding up the DVD.

I ever could give up my TV and movies. I don't know how wizards lived out with what I considered modern conveniences, especially air conditioning.

"Colleen, I'm kind of stuck doing whatever you want to do." Sirius told me. Oh, what power I have. "I know, but if you don't want to we won't, I'm a terribly considerate person." I informed him.

"We can watch it, what's it about?" he asked. Wizards, I swear they know nothing. What is Titanic about? Honestly.

"Well, Sirius, what I have in my hand is only the greatest love story ever. It's about these two people from different worlds on a ship and then it sinks." I explained to him.

"How terribly romantic" He said sarcastically. "It is" I assured him. "but there is also lots of action." He probably would not like this movie but he was gonna suffer through it cause I wanted to watch it, I had lied I was not considerate, why should I be to him. Technically he was a voyeur.

As I suspected he did not like the movie, and he bitched the whole way through it, except for the nude scenes of course. "Look at her willingly taking off her clothes. You don't see her trying to cover up do you?" He said looking at me.

"This is for art, Sirius" I reminded him pointing to the TV. "Jack doesn't just pop in like a voyeur."

"I'm not a bloody voyeur" he responded in mock offense. "And If you like, I'll draw you next time, will that make this all more legitimate?"

I laughed as I pictured Sirius and I inside the movie, somehow I didn't think it would have been the blockbuster it was with us as stars. Mostly because we would have said fuck it and apparated off the sinking vessel.

"I can just see your drawing now. A stick figure with boobs and a vagina" I told him. He laughed "I'd give you an ass, too darling."

"Oh, well thank you" I responded sarcastically.

When it was over he said "finally, that was the longest movie I have ever seen and it was not romantic Colleen, it was bloody depressing. I don't know what's romantic about a ship crashing and people freezing to death."

"Oh, Sirius I bet I can find a million people who disagree with you." I told him. "People with no taste" He retorted. I rolled my eyes; He was such a man, for being a ghost."

"Ugh, I wish you were alive so I could smack you." I said to him laughing. He started laughing too but then there was a loud noise that sounded like thunder, and he was gone. It was not his usual fading out, he just disappeared.

I was worried. I didn't know what had happened to him and I didn't know why it had happened. Had I done something? "Sirius!" I yelled out "If you come back I'll never make you watch Titanic again. I promise!" But he did not come back.

**Oh No! What Happened to Sirius? I'll let you know next chapter. And don't forget to review.**


	8. An Affair, A Shank and A Shock

**So, Sirius is MIA and Colleen is going to get a shock. I'm posting a couple chapters because actually I have most of this story written already. Hope you enjoy and I own nothing of course. **

**Chapter 8: An Affair, A Shank and A Shock**.

So I was upset when I hadn't seen Sirius for over 2 weeks. I wondered where he was and hoped I had not lost my power to see him. That would be just my luck another friend lost forever.

I was so used to him just being there so often that I found myself very lonely. I always thought he had been so invasive of my privacy, but you don't know what you got 'till it's gone. I had even gone so far as spending the entire day naked when I could get away with it in hopes he would appear.

I was distracted that whole week, having Sirius withdrawals (get it). On Saturday night I got dressed and decided to go over to Blaise's house. It seemed like we had been growing apart, and I thought we could use some alone time.

He had told me he was going to be at the office late that night, so I decided to go over and wait for him.

When I got there I heard noises coming from the bedroom and my stomach dropped. I went upstairs slowly; stomping, making as much noises as I possibly could, in the hopes that if there was someone with him they would be gone by the time I reached the bedroom.

I really didn't want to know if he was cheating on me. I know that sounds stupid, but I didn't think I could take anymore heartache in my life at that point.

The noises continued and I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk in to. But when I stepped into the bedroom I was horrified, nothing could have prepared me for that disgusting scene.

My boyfriend was fucking Millicent Bulstrode.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Millicent was hideous, huge and mean. What the hell was going on, Sirius had said he thought something was with them; I never believed him. "What the hell is going on!?" I shouted.

They stopped and looked up at me. "Shit, Colleen." He got up off of Millicent, and covered himself with a sheet. "This isn't what it looks like."

I was floored, I was sure it was exactly what it looked like. My thoughts were racing and I felt like the room was closing in on me. This wasn't happening.

"Yes, it is Blaise, don't lie to her." Millicent Bullstrode yelled at him. " Shut the hell up Millie, he yelled at her. Millie? He has a nickname for her? Oh, Christ. This just can't be happening.

"Colleen" he pleaded, "I didn't mean it; you know I love you, you just always want me to do such odd things in the bedroom, that's why I'm with her." I did not believe him.

There was no way he could love me and be sleeping with her, and I really doubted he was with Bulstrode because she was cool with no foreplay, odd things my ass anything besides plowing into me was odd to him. I was pissed, and after all the family bullshit I had put up with too.

"Blaise this has been going on for months!" Millicent cried out. He glared at her, and then turned back to me. Months! Months! I was so blind, and I rewound my memories to the Anniversary party. Had they been together then?

"You fucking Bastard! How could you do this to m, how could you tell me you love me and then go fuck her!?" I shouted. I was so mad I couldn't see straight, I felt the adrenaline running through my veins, burning as it made its way through my body.

I opened my purse and pulled out my toothbrush shank. (Some muggle things never die) and I stabbed him in the arm. "Bastard!" I screamed in fury, as he screamed in pain and she screamed in fear. His blood was gushing out of his wound and I felt a fleeting satisfaction before anger and devastation popped up again. Damn I hope he doesn't press charges for that one.

"I hope your very happy together!" and I apparated home. Maybe Mackeson was right; I did have a violent streak.

I was crying and upset. I couldn't believe this had happened to me. I thought I was in love with him. How could he do this to me? I mean I knew I wasn't always there, but still Millicent Bullstrode? That was just a slap in the face.

Thoughts were racing through my mind. This was all black's fault. If he hadn't been so damned distracting I would still have a relationship. I had been too wrapped up in a practically fictitious relationship to pay ant attention to my real one. If he hadn't made fun of Blaise's bedroom skills I wouldn't have doubted his performance at all. I called Jen; I needed to talk to her.

"I caught Blaise cheating on me with this ugly bitch, Millicent Bullstrode!" I cried to her as soon as she picked up the phone. "What! Aww, I'm Sorry Colleen. He is a fucking bastard, I never liked him." She replied angrily.

I told her the whole story about catching them and that it had been going on for months and that I shanked him. "Oh, shit. Did you kill him?" She questioned sincerely.

I should have, I thought to myself "No, unfortunately not, just a flesh wound, maybe he'll get an infection." I said disappointedly. I hoped he would a festering, putrid infection that was incurable, and I hoped it left a big scar too. "You want me to come there and finish the job?" She asked dead serious. I laughed; it made me feel a little better.

"Thanks, but I'd rather not have you in prison, Jen." I replied. Having my best friend locked away for murder was something I could do without, besides Charlie would have kicked my ass.

"I think, I'll just go to Ginny's for a while. I'll talk to you later." I told her. "Alright. Let me know if you change your mind about the cement shoes." She said as she hung up the phone.

Cement shoes? How very Italian of her, but it's always good to have at least on friend who will murder someone for you.

I decided I didn't want to be alone and flooed to Ginny and Harry's house and was a crying mess when I got there.

I could here them down in the kitchen, so I decided to go and make myself drink and hope they had time to hear my sob story.

When I got down to the cavernous kitchen, I had the shock of my life. Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Ron were sitting at the table. Well, that part's not shocking but the next part was.

Next to the couples, sitting at the table w/ a glass of firewhiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other was none other than Sirius fucking Black.

**You didn't think I was going to leave him dead did you? He's too much fun alive! Please review, and tell me what you think. **


	9. Dead or Alive: Still A Pervert

**Sirius is back! Exciting yes? I own nothing except my oc. Please review? **

**Dead or Alive: Still a Pervert**

He was just sitting there and he was not his usual semi-transparent self either but a solid man, and everyone else could clearly see him.

"Darling, He said standing up as he saw me walk in. The others looked confused. "How…" Harry started but I cut him off "Oh my God. Sirius", I said shocked. How the hell did this happen? I thought to myself.

He looked older and more worn than his ghostly self. I supposed he came out looking like he had when he went in, so I figured he must have been about 36.

He was wearing slightly out of fashion robes that were hanging off of him as he was so skinny.

His face was almost sickly pale and slightly sunken in, but he was still recognizable. His light grey eyes still had that mischievous glint that I knew so well.

I was happy to see him at first but then remembering that he was the reason for my breakup, I grabbed the salt shaker next to me and chucked at his head. Unfortunately he had good reflexes and ducked out of the way before it hit him.

"What the hell was that for?" He yelled at me. I was going to let him have it. "Blaise is fucking Millicent Bulstrode and it is all your fault, and now I am going to be hauled of to Azkaban for arrested murder by shanking" I yelled on the verge of tears.

I really hated crying in front of people and was trying my best to hold them back. There was a general outcry from the table. Ginny and Hermione gasped. "No" they both said. 'You shanked him?" Asked Ron "I'm not sure what that is but it sounds rather serious, doesn't it."

'Millicent Bullstrode? Are you sure? But she's hideous." Harry stated. I told you she was ugly, even Harry agreed and he didn't really ever insult anyone. "I'm positive; I caught them in bed together." I sniffled

"That is what makes this worse. I think I could handle it if she was pretty or thin, or rich but the only reason I can think of is that she has a better personality than me!" I really did cry then.

Millicent Bulstrode having a better personality than me was certainly something to cry about. I grabbed Sirius' firewhiskey from off the table and tossed it back it one huge gulp. I almost choked, always being much more a vodka girl.

"He is still alive isn't he?" Hermione asked me carefully. "Yes, Hermione, I didn't kill him. I should have, but I didn't." I replied shortly. I swear sometimes I think they believe all those newspaper stories about my mental instability. But hell, after tonight's display I'm beginning to agree with those papers.

"Colleen, he's a douchebag, obviously he didn't deserve you anyway." Ginny said, coming over to hug me. "And besides, Harry, Ron and I practically run Azkaban we won't let you go to prison, or will at least help you escape if you do." Hermione said smiling at me.

I was comforted for a moment until I thought of someone else who had escaped from Azkaban. I whipped my head around and glared at him.

"Wait a minute, Darling. How the bloody hell is this all my fault?" Sirius asked, remembering that I had blamed him for this fiasco. "I told you should get someone else ages ago."

"What?" Ron said puzzled. He really was not helping me to feel any better. I ignored Ron's comment and the confused looks from the others and answered Sirius' question.

"Well you have been haunting me for the past 8 months! And only showing up while I'm naked, I think you could see how that might distract from what I'm supposed to be doing while naked!"

What? Ron said again. "You've been haunting her?" Harry asked Sirius. "How come you didn't tell us?" Harry said turning to me.

Great, I'm having an emotional breakdown and Harry Potter wants to play 20 fucking questions. I wished it was just me and Sirius so I could be mad at him without any interruptions.

"Hold on, let, me tell you what happened," Sirius said to the others. He went on to explain the story. I waited rather impatiently as he told them all the story of how we met and what had been going on for the better part of a year.

There went my big secret. If you had asked me this morning how I thought my day would have gone I can assure you that being having Blaise sleeping with Bullstrode and Sirius returning from the dead would be the last thing on that list.

"Colleen" Hermione said to me, "I still don't see how it's Sirius' fault Blaise cheated on you.

"Hermione," I said exasperated "He cheated on me I've been pushing him for more um "attention, yes that's what we'll call it attention. Sirius was always saying how Vanilla we were, how I wasn't happy with Blaise, If he hadn't put that into my mind I would have never thought it and Blaise would still be with me." I told her.

"And do you know what it is like when every time you sleep with someone you are expecting some ghost to appear and not be able to leave the room?"

Okay so that was only half the problem, I actually had been distant from Blaise. I would rather hang out with a dead guy than my own boyfriend, and his mother had certainly put a damper on our relationship, but it was so much easier to be able to blame one person.

"Oh, well, yes I can see that getting in the way." Hermione said after some thought. Everyone nodded their head in sympathy, except Sirius. "What? Don't take her side." He said to them.

"Darling, look this is not my fault, I told you to leave Zabini months ago, I told you he was sleeping with that girl and I told you about his horrid mother, and you can't honestly believe he is cheating on you because you wanted more sex, that is the craziest thing I have ever heard!" Sirius said to me, about to begin what was what I was sure to be a long explanation of why this had nothing to do with him, I cut in.

"Will you please just let me blame you, Sirius?!" I pleaded. "If I have to face the reality that Blaise chose Millicent Bulstrode over me because he genuinely liked her more, I'll have to avada kedavra myself." I said throwing myself on the table.

I felt the tears start welling up again. I couldn't believe I was letting myself get so worked up over a boy, what was the world coming too? Sirius sighed. He must have felt a little sorry for me.

"Oh, bloody hell, fine. It was all my fault then. If I hadn't have been there, prohibiting you from having insanely boring sex and Merlin knows what else, you would still be living happily ever after, with your prat boyfriend." Sirius said sarcastically while rolling his eyes at me.

It made me feel better though. "Thank you, for admitting that." I said smiling at him. "Sure, sure. Let's just get pissed. That'll make you feel better. Hand me the firewhiskey." He said looking at everyone.

"Agreed" Harry replied and I lined up 6 shots of firewhiskey. "Ugh, I don't know if I should." Hermione, Said. "Don't be a pussy." Ginny scolded her.

"Oh, fine alright." Hermione agreed and took her shot glass. "To not letting the man bring you down" Ginny toasted. "Cheers, I agreed and we all clinked our glasses.

"How, did you get here anyways?" I asked Sirius after a few drinks. "You were dead." No one seemed to know the answer including Sirius. "I really don't know" he said.

This was terribly interesting; I wondered if anyone else had ever returned from the dead. I didn't think so, but then Sirius always did have a thing for being the first to do things. Escape from Azkaban anyone?

"The last thing I remember is sitting with you through that horrible movie about the ship crashing into the iceberg, and then the next thing I new I was lying out in the dept. of mysteries in front of the tapestry that murdered me.

"That's weird Sirius; that was over two weeks ago and hey, Titanic is the number one movie of all time" I said offended by his distaste for Kate and Leo. "I have no idea why, it was bloody depressing." He scoffed. I opened my mouth to protest but he interrupted.

"But, back to me rising from the dead, the only thing I can think of is you." What the hell was he talking about? "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him and the others looked just as confused.

"Well, my lovely and powerful friend." He said to me, and I rolled my eyes. "That very same night we watched that dreadful film, you told me you wished I was alive. And then magically, what did you say? Two weeks later I'm back and as good as new."

Hmm. That was an interesting theory, but somehow I doubted it, my wishes never came true before. I looked and him confused and said. "I wish for a million dollars, I wish for a million dollars, I wish for a million dollars. Everyone laughed at my testing method.

Now if in two weeks I have a million dollars, we'll know your theory is correct, but I doubt it, and anyways I wish people were back from the dead all the time and not one of them has ever come back." I said solemnly, thinking of my murdered friends and family.

"But had any of them ever been haunting you, do you live in their old home?" Harry asked "I know it seems unlikely but I don't really have any other ideas, and it seems like for whatever reason you were the only one who could see him…"

"So maybe, he was supposed to come back and you were the outlet for that." Hermione finished. "I don't think I'm that powerful Hermione". Was I? Colleen McAvoy Necromancer Extraordinaire had a nice ring to it though.

As the night wore down everyone but Sirius and I had went to bed or passed out on the table in Harry's case.

I have a ridiculously high tolerance for a woman, hey I'm Irish, it's in the blood. Not to mention I had plenty of practice in high school and college.

As for Sirius, death seemed to not have hindered his drinking capabilities at all, and he finished the bottle. I can't say we were coherent but we weren't passed out either.

We'd just finished singing Fuck you I'm Drunk, by Flogging Molly(best drinking song ever!) when I realized I had never seen him drunk before.

"I've seen yooou drunk, plemty of time, darling" He said pointing sloppily at me. And no, those were not typos, that is exactly how he said it.

I laughed, that was true. Drinking tended to make my clothing fall off, and wherever I was naked, Sirius could be found.

I was beginning to feel rather sleepy and decided to call it a night "I need to go to bed." I said looking at the clock, which read 3 o'clock in the morning. Crap I didn't realize it was that late. "I'll come with you." He said making to get up.

"What? No, you won't" I said pushing him back down. "Now that your "physical", again there will be no sleeping in my room or seeing me naked, of any kind," I informed him."

He looked genuinely put out "What a horrible tease you are, McAvoy." He said in mock offense. "You flaunt yourself in front of me for months and now, when I finally have the hands to do something about it, you're going to deny me?"

There was the Sirius I knew, a smarmy pervert in death as well as life. His personality was the same as it was when I met him, and I forgot that I was looking at a skinny, ill looking shadow of what he had been and saw Sirius Black, just as he always was to me.

He was terribly charismatic and charming and I found myself attracted to him for the first time. I thought this strange as he really wasn't physically appealing, but he had this aura about him that drew me in like moths to a flame.

"Yeah, pretty much. But hey, you did say you have hands. I'm sure you can think of something to do about your sexual frustration." I said grinning, patting him on the shoulder. He jumped.

I looked at him funny, maybe he had PTSD? "You know that's the first time you actually touched me." He said. "I was expecting a hug or at least a hand job when you saw me, here fully alive. And yet all I got was a bloody salt shaker thrown at my head."

I laughed and hugged him. He hugged me back and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I can't say I didn't like it. "You really are a pervert, you know that right?" I told him.

"Yes, yes. You've told me many times, now go home and go to bed." He said and smacked me on the ass before pushing me away. "Bastard!" I said laughing "I'm glad you're here, Sirius."

I'm glad I'm back too" he responded before I flooed home.

**Please Review.**


	10. A Blonde, A Brunette and A Redhead

**Chapter 10: I own nothing as usual, it's rather sad really. Someone please review? **

**Chapter 10**: **A Blonde, A Brunette and A Redhead Walk into a Bedroom**.

Sirius fell quickly back into his life; it was almost as if he had never been dead. He had started working out and put on some weight and so 1 month after his miraculous return he looked very similar to how I had known him dead.

Plus he seemed genuinely happy to be back in the realm of the living, happiness always increases attractiveness in my opinion.

He usually came to see me at least every other day, as "technically I was his only living friend" he had said.

When I asked about his friendship with Harry and crew he told me that he would always have a different relationship with them because Harry was his godson, and he had known them all as children. Which I said made sense but reminded him that officially I was 5-6 years younger than them.

Harry had returned all Sirius' property save Grimauld place which he didn't want anyways, and my house, which was legally mine, and I told he would have to fight me for it.

"But Darling; that was THE bachelor pad, Padfoot's Pad is what I called it. The last home I was ever happy in." He whined to me one day.

He was just being difficult. I knew very well he didn't want the house back; I would have given it to him if he had.

"I might have given it back to you if you hadn't given it such a dumb ass name." I told him. "I think I'll call it McAvoy Manor."

"No, that is a dumb ass name, sounds like Malfoy Manor." He pointed out. I guess it did. "Fine, I'll think of something else but it is not being called Padfoot's Pad that's for sure." I assured him.

"Well, It's not exactly a bachelor pad anymore anyway is it?" He said gloomily. "I never thought my house would have so much pink in it."

"Well, your house wouldn't but MY house would, and since Colleen McAvoy is the name on the deed, that's whose house it is." I said. "But, there will always be a guest room for you. I have the perfect one, I call it the Marie Antoinette room" I said laughing. He was very adamant on his masculinity.

"It sounds terribly masculine" He said in a dry way. "And you know bloody well if I really wanted that house you would have handed it over in a heartbeat. You're much too nice McAvoy, It's a flaw really." He said to me.

"Once again" I said pointing to myself "kicked out of country for being a heinous bitch" I was not too nice, damn it. He let me win the argument mostly, he did give an eye roll, but then he shut up about it.

Sirius had also fell right back into his role as heartbreaker. He had been with 4, count 4 women in one week, and those were just the ones I knew about.

I tried to pretend as if it didn't bother me but each time I saw him with a woman, touching her or kissing her I felt a fiery jealousy rise up in my chest.

I knew why he was doing it, I mean of course he was a typical horny guy, but the women of London where throwing themselves at him in droves. He had achieved a new celebrity status, not that he hadn't been one before.

Sirius Black: wrongly accused prisoner, only person to ever break out of Azkaban by themselves, Harry Potter's godfather, died in battle and back from the dead, he was a bitch magnet.

He was attractive; he had confidence and a reckless attitude; I can't say he wasn't interesting. If I hadn't known him I probably would have been right there with the rest of 'em, soaking up his every word.

But I did know him and I found it more annoying than anything. I did not appreciate the deathly stares from jealous women of all ages, when I was seen in public with him.

I wasn't sure if I liked him as more than a friend or if I was just used to having his undivided attention. Whatever it was' it pissed me off that he was always off with a new girl. I felt bad for them too, 2 of the girls I knew and actually quite liked.

I was struggling with myself; I wanted him to myself but I also didn't want the girls to get hurt.

I was supposed to meet him at his house one Sunday morning so we could go to breakfast, and I knocked and knocked but no one answered. The door was unlocked so I let myself in, thinking he was in the shower or still asleep.

I went up to his bedroom, opened the door and was horrified. "AAAAHHH! My eyes!" I screamed and covered my eyes with my hands and threw myself into the wall of his bedroom.

Sirius, a brunette girl and a redhead girl were in his bed, completely naked and completely tangled up in each other.

My screaming had woken them up. The girls seemed slightly embarrassed and Sirius was laughing his ass off. "You should have bloody well knocked then." He said still laughing, not even bothering to cover himself, I couldn't help but look then, the boy was blessed.

"I did, knock. We were supposed to meet for breakfast, remember?" I informed him, trying not to stare at his naked self. The girls did try to cover themselves at least.

"I remembered, I just overslept" He said seriously. I'm sure he remembered, or not. Boys, I swear.

"Whatever; just get ready" I replied, well it's not as if he hadn't seen me in similar situations, but never with more than one person.

"Alright, come on girls" he said to them and slapped them both on the ass. "time to go." The girls stretched out looking quite pleased with themselves.

"You know" Said the brunette girl to me. "You're rather sexy; you should join us next time." Or not I thought. Maybe if it was just me and Sirius alone, wait, no. I do not want Sirius Black, I do not want Sirius Black.

"Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll pass." I shook my head at her. "Your loss, he's good, so is she." She said shrugging and pointing to Sirius and the redhead. I just laughed. What an awkward situation. "I'll be downstairs" I said looking at Sirius.

"Sirius, you are such a slut." I said shaking my head at him after the girls left and he came downstairs. "What?" "I'm just trying to make up for years of lost time, being celibate while dead and/or imprisoned." He said shrugging "and please don't act all innocent I could always tell you were much kinkier than you led Zabini to believe."

"My kinkiness is none of your concern, Sirius" I reminded him playfully.

"Now, darling, I know you're jealous that it's not you in bed with me, but you heard the Brunette one, you can join in next time." He said playfully and winked at me.

"Well, Sirius, as magical as that sounds….wait did you just call her the brunette one? You don't even know her name?" I asked him.

"Of course I know it; it's Carrie, or maybe Mary. I don't something like that; don't give me that look! I knew it last night!" He shouted.

"You are hopeless." I told him as I ushered him out the door. But, he was right; I was jealous that he was in bed with them and not me. What was the world coming to?

Well, if he was going to sleep with every girl in London, so would I. Well not girls, but guys and I would be having them buy me dinner, not sleeping with them, but you get my point.

I was going to either make him jealous or find some one new. Both these options seemed like better plans than wallowing in misery while he porked everything with a vagina.

**Did you Like it? **


	11. A Christmas Ball

**Hey guys just wanted to say thanks for reading. Oh, and thank you for reviewing I was super excited to see that, it is definitely appreciated. Once again I own nothing of any significance. Edited 6/12**

**A Christmas Ball**

Two weeks later I was sitting in Hermione and Ron's living room bitching to the girls about how I had bought that damn expensive dress for the Ministry Christmas Ball and now I had no one to go with. My make black jealous/find a date plan was not working so far.

It wasn't as if I hadn't been trying, it just seemed like a bad time to find romance. Apparently no one wanted to be alone for the holidays and started the man hunt sometime after Halloween. I got started with my search a little late thus with three days until the ball I was stag.

"Just come with us," Said Ginny. "It'll be fun."

I doubted it.

"Yeah, so I can look like a total loser in front of Blaise and his hussy. I don't think so." I answered.

I really had wanted to go, but I was not going to look like an undesirable idiot, all by myself. If Blaise wasn't going to be there with Bullstrode I would have gone alone in a heartbeat, but I knew what people would be saying behind my back if I showed up dateless.

Just then Harry, Ron and Sirius walked through the front door, laughing about something that I'm sure was not as funny as they thought it was and they all plopped down on the furniture.

"What are you girls talking about then?" Ron asked stuffing some sort of chocolate in his mouth.

I had no idea how the boy could eat so much as not weigh 500 pounds, damn men and their metabolisms.

"Oh, Colleen was just wallowing in misery 'cause she doesn't have anyone to go to the Christmas Ball with." Hermione told him as she patted me on the back.

"Thanks, Hermione, what a pal." I replied. Way to make me feel even more desperate.

Sirius looked over at me. "You can go with me." He said casually.

I was having trouble remembering he was really there, otherwise I would have forced him into taking me sooner.

I was so used to him just being around but not really being around, that I found it hard to believe he was actually a physical person now. In fact, I often forgot to acknowledge him or actually speak to him; I still would catch myself using little gestures and facial expressions to communicate with him. But none the less I was very glad he was truly present, especially at that moment.

"I forgot about you!" I said happily.

He looked slightly offended by that comment.

"I'm glad I'm so important to you," He replied sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up, you know what I mean" I told him, "But you don't mind going with me then, you don't have a date?"

He would be the perfect revenge date, and I actually enjoyed his company so it would be fun. As I mentioned before Sirius was a terribly famous and sought after man and I was sure everyone would be quite jealous.

"Well, I had tried to get Millicent Bulstrode to go with me, but you know I guess, you'll have to do." He said smartly.

"Sirius!" Hermione yelled horrified.

The others looked nervously at each other, not sure how I would react.

I stared at him, shocked he had dared to say that and then burst into laughter.

"You're such a douchebag, Sirius" I smacked him on the head in between giggles.

I had thought that a comment like that would have hurt me but I was relieved to find it funny. Maybe I wasn't as upset about Blaise and Millicent as I had thought I was, or maybe I just let Sirius get away with things that no one else could.

"I'm just joking Hermione, She knows that" Sirius said pointing to me. "And to answer your question, no I do not have a date. I was planning on keeping my options open, but how could turn you down?" he said pinching my cheek.

How could he turn me down? He couldn't; I had him wrapped around my little finger, sort of.

"Perfect, then Sirius and Colleen will go together and she can stop whining." Ginny said to me. I was not whining, damn it.

* * *

It was the day before Christmas Eve and I was slightly nervous about the ball. I mean it was just a stupid ministry thing, but still Blaise would be there and it was the first time I would be seeing him since we broke up. I was never gladder that Sirius was an attractive man.

Okay, so we weren't actually together, but Blaise didn't have to know that. All he would see was me with a sexy, famous, bad ass wizard, who had recently returned from the dead, and I hoped it might spark just a little jealousy/remorse for what he had done.

Now, I wasn't really sad about it anymore, it had been over 2 months. I was more just pissed off that he had the audacity to cheat on me. I wouldn't have taken him back if he had begged, But still what girl wouldn't want their ex to see them moving on to bigger and better things?

I met Sirius at Ginny's house as we had all decided to meet and go together. Jen and Charlie surprised us all by showing up ready for the ball. She was dressed in a stunning green gown that complimented her dark black hair and green eyes perfectly.

I saw they way Charlie looked at her and felt a twinge of jealousy. I actually looked at all my friends with a twinge of jealousy; the feeling was rather annoying. They were all so completely smitten with each other it was disgusting.

I hated that I felt so lonely when with them. Before the war I would have been fine without a boyfriend; but now when I had so few people left in my life, I craved someone to love me. How stupid right? I was an independent woman, I should be glad to have my freedom, but I wasn't. Still I felt much better about the whole Ball situation with Jen being there, moral support and all.

I was the last to arrive and I was a little late, so we hurried up and flooed to the ministry; the ball was being held in the grand foyer. It was a huge space and when we got there I saw that it had been decorated very elaborately, with at least one hundred Christmas trees and Fairies flying all around.

There were a million red and green candles lighting the room, giving it a very festive holiday feel. The tables were covered with red or green velvet and set with golden plates and goblets. Each table had an ornate gold candelabrum with candles the opposite color of the table cloth. It made for a very beautiful scene; so much so, that I hadn't really noticed my date.

When I did look over at him I realized he looked good, really good and not just for a man recently returned from the dead either.

He had on expensive looking (I'm sure it was), black cloak with a silver fasten and underneath it simple but elegant black dress robes. He had filled out some in the months that he had been back and as a result looked much more his age much more than he had before.

He had cut his hair and shaved and looked very, I guess aristocratic is the word I would use. He looked more like the Sirius in the pictures of Harry's parents wedding than he had when he died, almost completely losing the haunted look he had after escaping from Azkaban.

Hermione had pointed that out to me because as I had never known him before he died, I couldn't really tell you much about his haunted eyes. But anyway the point is he was very good looking. Take that Blaise Zabini.

* * *

We made our way to our assigned table; we got a good one in the front, so we didn't have to climb over anyone else to get to our seats, (Oh, the perks of being friends with the golden trio.)

I was startled out of my thoughts about the great seating arrangement by Sirius's exclamation.

"Fuckin' hell Colleen! Are you trying to start a riot?" he said as I removed my cloak and he surveyed my dress before trying to cover me up so no one could see.

It startled me for a moment, he never called me Colleen, but I was flattered; honestly I was kind of going for that traffic stopping look, as much as I could get it anyways. I wanted to show Blaise that even though he may not want me, everybody else did.

The dress was sexy without being too risqué, It was a deep crimson, Silk gown with cap sleeves. Was tight enough to show off my curves but the skirt was still flowy, but the part I really loved was the back, or lack of one.

It was completely open, basically to the top of my butt, where the fabric draped. It had cost a fortune but it was well worth the price to see Sirius look at me like that.

Wait. What? Why did I just think that? I don't care what Sirius thinks, honestly. Clearly I'm just having self esteem issues right now and any attention is good attention, right? Not to mention attention from a badass wizard, ex con, prison escapee.

So I have a thing for bad boys, who doesn't? Damn, I think I need to have my head checked. Oh, Hell.

"I'm going to have to keep my wand out all night to perform blinding curses." He said seriously, glaring at the men in the room when he caught them looking at me. I wrenched myself away from him and straightened out my gown.

"I highly doubt that will be the case, Sirius." I replied rolling my eyes at him.

He looked at me hard for a moment, and I felt slightly uncomfortable under his gaze.

"You know you are quite beautiful," He said.

I felt my cheeks get warm. Maybe he was drunk?

"I did notice it before, but now that I have a working penis again, it seems more significant." He said non chalantly as if he was telling someone the weather.

He was so weird sometimes; I attributed it to a long stay in Azkaban. I turned and pinched his cheek, and laughed.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment." I said.

I was sort of uncomfortable with his comment; it's not as if he hadn't ever flirted with me before, because he always had. But that comment just seemed different, more sincere.

"It was meant as one, darling." He replied and winked at me.

" Ugh, I'm glad to see your still as smarmy as ever" I slapped him lightly and shook my head. "Come on the opening dance is about to begin."

* * *

I saw Blaise and Millicent as we walked out onto the floor. Blaise looked over at me and his mouth dropped slightly as they saw my dress and my date. He quickly composed himself but I got the reaction I was going for, and I smirked a little. Sirius noticed.

"So, that's what this is about then?" He asked motioning to my dress and then to Blaise.

"You're just trying to make him jealous." He seemed slightly peeved but I didn't understand why. He had always hated Blaise why wouldn't he be all about this jealousy plot?

"Sort of, well I don't know". I said earnestly. "I just want him to realize, really realize what he chose over me."

And I did, I wanted him to have just a taste of guilt, a minute of thought for what could have been. He had hurt me and I wanted him to suffer for it, that wasn't so strange was it?

"You never really liked him you know" Sirius whispered into my ear while glancing over at Blaise.

I was about to protest and ensure him that he was wrong, when the music started. Sirius pulled me towards him as the floor became crowded and we began to dance.

I looked over at Millicent in her conservative velvet gown. She seemed really happy with Blaise, and he seemed happy with her, and for a moment I didn't find her so unattractive after all.

Maybe Sirius was right, maybe I really didn't like Blaise and maybe he did me a favor by giving me excuse to break up with him. But I stopped thinking about Blaise and Millicent and began to concentrate on what was happening between myself and Sirius.

As we were dancing I could feel this strange heat rising up between us in waves. I had never been so physically close to him, as his hand was on my bare back and my breasts were shoved against his chest due to the large crowd on the dance floor.

I could feel his heart beating and mine began to beat a little bit faster, you know that butterfly feeling in your stomach, imagine that, only replace the butterflies with hippogriffs.

I was quite a bit shorter than him and my face was in the crook of his neck. I was forced to breathe in and I literally almost ripped off my clothes and told him to take me now when I inhaled his scent.

It was some cologne that was musky and clean at the same time, I couldn't tell what it was but it was intoxicating. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but whatever it was, was somewhat frightening. I was about to accuse him of having dumped Amortentia all over himself before he left the house; that was exactly what he smelled like.

But I had smelt Amortentia long before Sirius Black was in my life so that didn't make any sense either. He was making my brain go screwy and I didn't know why.

I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't pull away. It was like being trapped in this wonderful but terrifying place; I wanted to stay there forever while simultaneously wanting to run for the hills.

Why was Sirius Black, of all people making me so nervous? The man had seen me naked more than I had seen myself, yet his hand on my skin was making me go all googly? What the fuck? I mean I knew I had a slight crush on him, but come on.

If he was feeling anything like I was he kept it well hidden. I doubted I could give him the hippogriffs that he gave me. Did I really like him that much? I really never thought about it as it was never an option. I was with Blaise and Sirius was dead; but not anymore. No, not anymore; now he was alive and I was single.

He always did flirt with me but I never took that seriously. I just figured it was what he did; all in good fun, but what if he had meant something by it?

I didn't dare get my hopes up. If he liked me he would have done something about it by now right? After all he'd already slept with half the women in London, there had to be a reason he had never tried with me.

The tension was becoming unbearable when finally, God stopped fucking with me and the dance ended. We broke apart and went back to our table. I was highly uncomfortable and didn't want to look at him.

I didn't know if he had felt the same way, but I was terrified that he had, but I was more terrified that he hadn't. I needed to get out of there so I told him I had to go potty and booked it to the toilets.

* * *

It was chilly in the bathroom, which I was thankful for because my body felt like it was on fire. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my cheeks were quite flushed and my chest was a little splotchy.

Jen came in after me.

"Are you alright?" She asked me. "Sirius sent me to check on you."

I shook my head yes. I was embarrassed to admit what had happened to me, and more than embarrassed to find that he had noticed. Sirius Black was no excuse to have a panic attack.

"I'm fine. I just felt sick for a minute. I think I had too much champagne" I told her. It hadn't been a lie. "You can go back; I'll be out in a minute."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be right out." I confirmed.

"Okay, if you're sure." She said and went back to our table.

"Calm down Colleen." I told myself, as soon as she left. "It's just Sirius." I was in the bathroom for a few minutes before I felt stable enough to return to my friends.

As I walked out I could see our table and I noticed that some hussy in a skanky dress was talking to Sirius. I guess he didn't have the same reaction to our dance that I had.

"Oh, Melissa, this is my DATE, Colleen." Sirius said to the woman, accentuating the word date, as I walked over to them.

I put my hand out to her.

"Nice to meet you" I said putting on a fake smile. She shook my hand, but glared at me as she did so. Bitch.

"Well, I'll see you later Sirius." She said to him rubbing his shoulder as she seductively and walked away.

"Ugh, Sirius, couldn't you have picked someone a tad less slutty?" I asked him annoyed with his choice of woman.

"What? I was trying to get rid of her the whole time. I like a challenge Darling. What took you so bloody long in the lou?"

He seemed sincere and annoyed at my having left him with the floozy and for accusing him of liking her, maybe he did have taste after all.

"Uh, long line." I said somewhat relieved that he hadn't actually liked her.

"You girls and your bathroom lines" He shook his head and stood up "I need a drink; do you want one?"

Hell yes I wanted one, I needed something to calm me down. Let's see something classy. "Champagne" I said shaking my head yes.

"Be back in a minute then" he replied and walked off to the bar.

As soon as Sirius left I felt someone standing behind me. Before I could look to see who it was I heard "Colleen?" I did turn around and saw Robert Cavanaugh, a good looking wizard from Ireland that I had met at Flourish and Botts about a month before.

"Hi, Robert, How are you?" I asked. He had appeared a pleasant person and I dug the accent. He seemed pleased that I had remembered him.

"I'm good, how bout yourself?" he asked in his Irish brogue.

"I'm good" I replied.

He paused for a moment and I thought he might throw up by the look on his face, but then he began to speak.

"So I saw you were here with Sirius Black, but I wanted to ask you anyways just in case you aren't seeing him." He said nervously.

Oh, Jesus was he going to ask me out? I looked over at Jen who was looking down trying not to laugh. Well, he was nice and attractive; a little timid maybe, but I would give him a chance.

"Ask me what Robert?" I questioned him, already knowing what was coming.

"Um, well if you're not with anyone I was wondering of you would like to have dinner with me sometime." He spat out very quickly.

I had never had a man so nervous in my presence and I was very flattered by it. Although I couldn't figure out what he had to be nervous about.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you have a boyfriend, I was stupid to ask." He said without waiting for my answer and attempted to walk away.

"Robert, wait!" I said laughing softly. "I don't have a boyfriend, and I would love to have dinner with you." I told him and he seemed relieved.

"Oh, great, perfect, um well… What about New Years Eve. Are you doing anything?" He stuttered out.

"I'm going to dinner with you" I told him and smiled.

It's not like I had any amazing plans and it might be nice to get a kiss at midnight.

"Great" he said. And just as he did Sirius came back with our drinks and shoved himself rather forcefully in between Robert and I.

"Here is your drink Darling." Sirius said handing me a flute of champagne. He then turned to Robert.

"Can I help you?" he asked poor Robert in an annoyed tone.

"Um, no I was just.."

"You were just what?" Sirius antagonized him. He could be intimidating and I felt bad for Robert as Sirius towered over him glaring. What the hell was his problem?

"Sirius, Shut up." I yelled at him in a hushed voice and pinched his leg as hard as I could.

"Ow, shit" Sirius yelped as I did.

I hoped he would get the hint to knock his bullshit off.

"I'll owl you about New Years Robert. Have a good night." I smiled at him reassuringly and he smiled and walked away. At least I had managed to get the poor guy out of the path of Sirius Black.

"What the bloody hell was that about? What are you doing with him on New Years?" Sirius demanded. I didn't know what his problem was, he was acting like an asshole; maybe he was jealous?

I highly doubted it and quickly put it out of my mind. "I have a date, with him. Is that alright with you?" I told him annoyed.

"You're going to waste your New Years Eve with that wanker?" Sirius asked me in a disgusted tone. Wanker? Robert was not a wanker, he was nice.

"I'm not going to be wasting it, I'm going to be spending it, Sirius" I said "And he is not a wanker, he's a nice guy, why are you being so mean?"

Sirius did not look pleased with this situation.

"I'm not being mean; he was getting on my nerves, what kind of man asks a girl out while she is on a date with someone else. That was terribly rude of him."

I guess it was kind of rude, but he did ask if Sirius and I were together, sort of.

"He made sure we weren't together before he asked" I assured Sirius. "And besides why should you be the only one playing the field, as you call it?"

"I just think you could do better." He told me. Sirius spent the rest of the night in a foul mood and I tried to avoid him, dancing with the other people in our group and any single men that I could find, nothing wrong that right?

Although I was still not entirely convinced that Sirius was jealous, every time I was dancing with someone and I glanced over at him, I could see him giving my partner a particularly murderous look. Maybe he did get the hippogriffs when we had danced, after all.

* * *

**Thanks. Please review**.


	12. A Present from the Past

**Another chapter for my faithful readers. Thanks a bunch, just remember I own nothing. Edited 6/12**

* * *

**A Present from the Past**

It was Christmas Day, two days after the ball and my strange feelings towards Sirius. Christmas at the Burrow would be the first time I had seen him since that night.

I was slightly nervous, wondering what my reaction to him would be. It was quite annoying not to know how you were going to feel about something.

I had woken up that morning, with no gifts under the tree besides the ones I would be bringing to the Burrow. After 3 Christmases you would think I would be used to it, but the day only served to remind me of all the people who were no longer with me. I tried not to dwell on that, but it was hard waking up alone on Christmas morning when I was so used to the loud voices of my family filling up the rooms.

Both Ginny and Hermione invited me to spend the night at their house, but I felt like I might be an emotional wreck and so I declined. Jen and Charlie were staying at the burrow at Molly's insistence, not that they were particularly happy about that arrangement. Molly Weasley was very old fashioned and that meant separate bedrooms for the unmarried couple.

No doubt Sirius spent his Christmas Eve in the arms of at least one lonely girl, if not more. Looks like it was just going to be me, myself and I until later that day. I did have a few things to do to occupy myself though; I had promised to make a carrot cake from scratch for desert, so that would take a while and I still had Sirius' gift to wrap.

I had just got it the day before. I had asked him weeks ago what he wanted, but he didn't know so I really had no idea what to get him. On Christmas Eve I was still clueless, and had begun to panic. I had found nothing in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, so I had wandered down to Camden Town, when I spotted something I knew would be perfect for him in this vintage shop.

It was this really awesome black leather jacket that I knew he would love. He had told me about the one he had before he had gone to Azkaban, and how much he loved that thing.

"I would ride around the countryside on my motorcycle, with my leather jacket, driving the all the girls wild." Were his exact words and while he had gotten a new motorcycle he still had no jacket. The bloody thing was 200 pounds but I felt like it was worth it.

I had bought this really cool paper to wrap all my gifts in; it was red and green with Santa and his reindeer flying across. Literally flying across it, oh magic how useful you are. So I wrapped the jacket and wrote on the card.

To Sirius: I saw this and thought of you, Hope it cam replace the one you lost. Love, Colleen

Now to bake the cake, I baked it from scratch and did it the muggle way, peeling and grating the carrots myself, I swear it tasted better that way. I could never get my food to taste right with magic, it was terribly inconvenient and stupid, I could vanquish evil wizards but I couldn't bake a flipping cake?

* * *

Three hours later the cake was baked and iced and I had all the gifts in a bag and was ready to go at 5:00. I flooed to the Burrow and found everyone but Sirius, Ron, Hermione and their kids already there.

Jen ran over to me and dragged me over to the Christmas tree away from everyone else.

"That woman is driving me fucking insane." She whispered to me referring to Molly. "I cannot believe how controlling the bitch is, we can't even sleep together. I'm 26 years old, this is fucking ridiculous."

Poor Jen, she never caught a break. I laughed at her.

"At least you're not staying very long, you're leaving in two days right." I did feel bad for her I was not the biggest fan of Molly either, and I knew she and Jen didn't really get along.

"Yes, thank fucking god" she replied. Did I mention we suspect Jen was a pirate in a past life, hence the colorful language.

Just then I heard Sirius pop in and announce himself by a chorus of "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs", He was so goofy sometimes.

I smiled to myself as he finished the song in a deep baritone voice and Molly yelled for everyone to come into the kitchen to eat.

"Your lovers here" Jen smirked at me.

What? How did she know I liked him? Damn it. Leave it to your best friend to figure out your deepest darkest secrets.

"Jen, shut up!" I yelled at her in a hushed voice.

"You don't think anyone else knows do you?" I would be completely mortified if they did. The man was way out of my league.

"No, it's obvious to me but I don't think anyone else can tell." She said.

"You know I actually like him for you." She told me in a whisper. I was surprised she never liked the guys I dated or crushed on, she was very much like Sirius in that aspect.

* * *

As we entered the kitchen and Jen went to sit next to Charlie, who unfortunately was also sitting next to Molly. She gave me an annoyed look and I shrugged slightly.

Hermione, Ron and the kids had arrived as well and everyone began to crowd around the table and eat. It was definitely and English Christmas dinner, with a roast goose, parsnips and figgy pudding among other things. I sat next to Sirius as we were the only two single people in the house.

He looked very good in black pants and a red button down shirt in which he rolled up the sleeves and left the top buttons undone. I found the same ridiculous feelings I had at the ball coming up again.

"Happy Christmas darling" he said to me as I sat down "I found you the perfect gift by the way, but I can't give it to you in front of everyone. So there is a necklace under the tree, so as not to raise suspicions."

I could only imagine what he thought the perfect gift was. I was sure it wasn't good if no one else was allowed to see it.

"Can't wait" I told him scrunching up my nose.

Dinner passed fairly uneventfully with the exception of Mrs. Weasley's snarky side comments to Jen, I was proud of her for not flipping out on the woman, and Al dumping his pudding over his own head. Everyone was most excited for presents, even me. Presents made it feel like Christmas, even if I only got one.

* * *

I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked into the living a little after everyone else, as did Sirius who had been fixing himself a drink in the kitchen. This was both fortunate and unfortunate because as we entered the room, we both walked under a sprig of mistletoe at the exact same time. I would have normally just ignored this but Jen opened her big mouth, the traitor.

"Oh, looked who walked under the mistletoe" she shouted.

I gave her a death glare but she just looked amused. Everyone turned to see. I grew red with embarrassment but Sirius looked at me and shrugged and went in for the kill. It was just a peck on the lips but it made me feel like I was dying. I wanted nothing more than him to really kiss me, right there in front of everyone. How was I supposed to date Robert if I had these crazy feelings going on?

"That wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't know where your mouth has been" I said referring to his hussies.

He let out a short bark like laugh and smacked me on the butt before sitting himself down on the floor. What was this man doing to me?

As I sat down on the sofa in the sitting room and gathered our gifts I noticed I had quite a collection. "Not a bad haul this year" I thought to myself. Obviously the children opened first as they were the most eager to find out what Father Christmas had brought them.

They found it very amusing that Jen and I called him Santa Claus. Possibly the most exciting thing about being a witch was finding out that Santa was real, so he only delivered to witches and wizards, I could have cared less, I was just stoked that my childhood had not been a lie.

I had gotten the kids some really cool toys and for Teddy who was older and a marauder second generation, a two way mirror that I had found in Diagon Alley. All of them were terribly excited with their gifts and ran off to test them out as soon as they were out of the paper.

Molly Weasley knitted all of us, even Jen, her famous sweaters. I had gotten a book on ancient magic, from Hermione and Ron, and the new cauldron I had desperately needed but never got around to buying from the Potters.

Jen and Charlie gave me an adorable little owl, as the one I had was getting much too old to carry letters and had to be kept just as a pet, I named him Chupicabra, and of course from Sirius the necklace. It really was more of a choker, with strands of pearls and a large pink stone in the middle, and I loved it.

"Thank you, Sirius I love it, it's not cursed is it?" I asked him.

He would do that to me. But he didn't answer me and I noticed he had my gift for him in his lap and wore a curious expression on his face.

"Where did you get this?" he asked me. I was afraid he didn't like it and I was a little upset.

"A vintage shop in Camden town, if you don't like it you can take it back, I don't mind." I said hurriedly and slightly embarrassed. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought.

"What? No, it's perfect" He reassured me. "It's just that this is _my_ jacket; it doesn't need to replace the one I lost because it is the exact one I lost. Look my initials are sewn on the inside" he showed me the lining.

It did have his initials. I was an awesome gift giver I decided; and wondered how I managed to find him that jacket?

"Thank you darling" he said and kissed me on my cheek. He had to do that didn't he? And go getting my heart all a flutter again. Jen gave me a look as he did this and I smiled and looked down, as I felt my face get flushed.

After presents it was quite late so we all decided to have a night cap before heading off. Egg Nog with firewhiskey, not my choice drink; but festive none the less.

"Happy Christmas!" Arthur Weasley toasted.

"Merry Christmas" we raised our glasses and downed our drinks.

Most of the children were very sleepy and had to be carried home in the arms of their parents. I bid everyone goodbye, but Sirius and I were the last to leave.

"Come with me, your gift is at my house" he instructed me. I was worried about this gift, because I could not even fathom what it was.

* * *

We both apparated into his living room and he went over to his humungous Christmas tree that we had decorated with the gaudiest things we could find and pulled out a small wrapped box from underneath.

He handed it to me laughing, and I gave him a suspicious look.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked. What could this gift possibly be?

"Oh, yes you do, you'll love it." He responded with a loud laugh. Christ.

As I opened the package I laughed out loud

"Seriously, this is what you thought would be the perfect gift?" I asked him as I held a pink vibrator in my hand. He would get me a sex toy.

"Yes, it is. Zabini's long gone and since you always turn down my offers…" he said suggestively.

"Ah, but how do you know I'm turning down everyone else's offers?" I asked him and raising my eyebrow.

"I would take it as a personal offense, if you kept refusing me, and ran around with all those other bastards. They only want one thing you know." he said knowingly.

"As opposed to you?" I retorted.

"I want much more than one thing" he winked at me.

God, he was hot. If only I thought his offers were sincere. I had a quick flash of the things he would want to do, but pulled my head out of the gutter before he suspected anything.

"Besides this is the gift that keeps on giving, and you'll need it if you are seriously going to date that Cavanaugh boy, I doubt he can even get it up."

Sirius never liked my dates, just like Jen. I was sometimes surprised that those two hadn't hit it off. But I suppose they were too similar to really be able to like each other.

"You never like my boyfriends." I reminded him.

"You pick really terrible people to date, Darling" He replied.

This was the truth and I couldn't deny it.

I shook my head at him and called him a smarmy old pervert. He laughed at my comment and offered me a drink. I said "of course" and we went down to the kitchen.

"So how did you come across that jacket anyway?" he asked me referring to his gift.

"I don't know, I couldn't find anything that I liked for you and yesterday I went to Camden Town and saw it in the window and thought of you." I explained.

It was very strange that I would be drawn to that jacket, but I guess somehow I knew it was his.

"Well I'm glad you found it, I was quite shocked when I opened the package, but I feel like myself again with it" he told me.

"I'm glad" I told him sincerely.

I was getting very sleepy, so I finished my drink before hugging him goodbye

"Thank you for the gifts, all of them" I said holding up the package in my hand.

"Anytime darling" he responded before I apparated home.

It certainly was an interesting Christmas.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	13. Long Gazes and Threats of Castration

**Thank you, thank you for the review. I was beginning to think no one liked this story. **** So, as usual I own nothing besides Colleen and the plot. I hope you enjoy! **

**Long Gazes and Threats of Castration**

"Ginnnyyyy!" I yelled to my red haired friend. "Help, I have no idea what to wear." It was New Year's Eve and I had my first date with Robert, which I was slightly nervous about, making me think he had probably already vomited 7 times.

"Well, where are you going?" she asked me as she entered my bedroom. That was the problem as I didn't know where we were going. Did I wear a dress or robes? Casual or fancy? These were the questions that were ruining my life.

"He didn't say where we were going, Gin" I replied just a tiny bit panicked. "Um. Hmmn… I know! Lay out the possibilities and I'll wait until he gets here and tell you what he has on then you can hurry up and get dressed." She said happily.

The girl was a genius, why had I not thought of this? "Perfect, thank you Ginny" I told her in a game show like voice.

An hour later I had my choices all lied out on my bed and was ready to go. Robert was supposed to pick me up at 7 so I had about 15 minutes to kill. So of course Sirius decided to show up, even though he was no longer a ghost he still had this uncanny ability to come over when I was dressing or undressing.

I had forgotten that he was not so keen on the idea of Robert and me together, and was here I was sure to try and talk me out of the date.

Sirius was not one for boundaries and all about invasion of privacy thus he burst right into my room without bothering to knock. "Sirius! What did I tell you about knocking?" I scolded him as he threw himself down on my bed.

"Come now darling, it's nothing I haven't seen before." He said smirking "and I actually wouldn't mind seeing it again, it has been almost 3 months" He grabbed the end of my robe and tried to take a peak but I smacked him upside his head and he dropped the fabric, annoyed. As he said at Christmas he had a "working penis again" and so I was not so eager to have him see my bits.

"Quit sexually assaulting me, and tell me what I should wear." I demanded pointing to the clothes I had selected.

"I like the gold dress, best" Ginny told him "Hopefully he'll take you somewhere you can where that." I also liked the gold dress. It was a mini with long sleeves and not too low cut. I thought it was a good first date dress, not too slutty but not conservative either.

"You can't wear that! It's much too short. Do you want him to think you are going to put out on the first date?" Sirius said disapprovingly. He was one to talk; he only went out with girls that "put out" on the first date.

"Yes, actually; that vibrator just ain't getting the job done kiddo." I said smirking and patting him on the back. He looked truly horrified that I was going to let Robert into my pants.

Obviously I wasn't really going to; and honestly I doubted the boy would even try. He seemed like the type to let the girl run the show, which I thought, might be nice for a change.

"What! Colleen! don't event think about it. I forbid you, you are not allowed go on this date without promising chastity" Sirius shouted as he stomped his foot.

Talk about double standards right? Sirius had never had a chaste moment if he could help it.

"Oooh, look how serious he is, whipping out your first name and everything" Ginny said laughing. He was practically fuming, and he looked rather funny. However, not wanting to upset him too much I swore there would be nothing of a sexual nature happening that night. Sirius could actually be rather mean when he wanted to be and I didn't feel like starting anything with him tonight.

I heard Robert floo into the living room and not a moment later both Ginny and Sirius ran down the steps to meet him. They were both shoving each other to get to Robert first. Sirius was such a great guy, trying to knock a pregnant woman down the steps.

I really had not wanted Sirius to get the chance to harass Robert again, but he practically jumped down the stairs before I could stop him.

I couldn't really hear what Sirius was saying but I hoped he wasn't being too hard on Robert; he was probably explaining him the chastity rules of the night.

Ginny came back upstairs to tell me what to wear "the gold one'll be good, he has on a muggle suit, and I would hurry" She said out of breath, and throwing a worried glance down towards the two men.

I immediately threw it on gave myself a quick once over in the mirror then ran downstairs to prevent anymore damage that Sirius had been inflicting.

As I walked into the living room I knew it was wrong, but it was instinct to look as Sirius and his reaction to me as opposed to Robert's.

Our eyes met for a moment before I turned my gaze to my date. He looked nice, with a black muggle suit and tie on. "You look lovely" he said to me not quite meeting my eye.

Sirius gave him a particularly venomous glare as I thanked Robert for the compliment. "Shall we go then?" I asked him.

"Oh.. yes of course. Umm I didn't know where you would want to go so I made reservations at a muggle restaurant. Is that okay? If it's not we can go somewhere else? I just thought you grew up a muggle so you might like it, but if you don't.."

I think Robert was the most insecure man I had ever met, but I kind of liked that about him, it meant I was in charge. I stopped his rant before he freaked himself out too much. "The muggle place will be great" I assured him "Let's just go, ok?" I said as I pulled him towards the front door.

Sirius stopped me and pulled me and whispered into my ear "keep your bloody legs closed" before giving Robert one last murderous stare.

I just rolled my eyes "Not making any promises Sirius." And I shrugged. He gave me a look like he was going to be sick.

Hahaha, I was beginning to have fun tormenting him. Although I highly doubted he was going to spend his New Year's alone waiting for me to come home, a girl can dream can't she?

"Bye guys" I waved to Sirius and Ginny and I shut the door. "I think he likes you more than you think" Robert said in a quiet and slightly sad voice as soon as we were out the door.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you?"

I wondered what made him say that. "I'm positive; he's like that with everyone." I assured the half paranoid man.

"He told me he would rip off my balls if I even tried to touch you." Hahahaha, that was pretty freaking funny, and I couldn't help but snort out a laugh.

Robert did not think it was as comical and looked genuinely frightened for his testicles. I told you Sirius could be rather intimidating.

"Don't worry about it, he is all bark and no bite" I said to Robert. At least I hoped he was. If I was going to be with this man, I felt he needed his balls.

He took me to this lovely little restaurant in Chelsea and dinner was nice if not a bit quiet. Robert was not boring by any means, and he many thoughts and opinions, he was just one of those people who only said something when he felt it worth saying.

I however, was terribly uncomfortable with silence and rambled and blabbered on for a good 2 hours. At around 9:30 Robert asked me if I would like to go to a New Year's Eve Party with him. As I had no other plans and I was beginning to like the man more and more I agreed.

The party ended up being at Kingsley Shacklebolt's home, which was the party all of my friends were attending, including Sirius Black, threatener of castration himself.

I could tell Robert felt more in his element around lots of people rather than one on one and so I felt confident enough to leave him for a moment to find Harry and Ginny.

But before I even made it 5 feet I was stopped by a tall, dark and handsome man. "Fancy seeing you here Darling; got tired of Cavanaugh eh?" Sirius said to me as I continued to walk. "No Sirius, Robert is here with me. And I can't believe you threatened to chop his balls off!"

He gave me a half grin and was about to say something when a beautiful blonde woman I recognized from Witch Weekly Magazine came up to Sirius, grabbed his arm and whispered something, I suspected suggestive in his ear.

His eyes got a little wider and had a mischievous spark as she walked off. I felt a knot in my stomach that I was assuming could be jealousy but I wasn't sure. There was no way to compete with a model.

"Well I must step out for a bit, but I'll be keeping my eye on you darling." He said and turned to follow the blonde for what I imagined to be a quickie in some random closet or bedroom.

"I'm sure you will." I muttered to myself and continued my search for Ginny or Hermione. I needed girl time to tell them how my date was going.

I found them both sitting at a table looking incredibly bored, as they were both currently knocked up, there was no drinking for them and so I plopped myself down next to them and retold them the night's events.

After about 20 minutes of chatting I felt like I should probably find Robert as it was getting close to midnight and I expected a kiss, damn it.

I saw him across the room talking to Oliver wood about something I assumed to be Quidditch related and I strolled over to them just as the band started playing Auld Lang Syne.

I loved and hated New Year's; in some ways it was so sad, another year gone, another year older, but then again it meant new beginnings and for me a possible new love interest.

As the song finished and we began the countdown I looked across the room to find a rather disheveled looking Sirius staring at me with the blonde witch attached to his arm. She was nuzzling up to his neck but he seemed not to notice, his eyes were locked on me.

Staring at him in that moment made me feel as if our worlds just collided, there is no other way to describe the intense feeling I had; it felt like there was no air left in the room.

3, 2,1…Happy New Year!!! Everyone shouted but I was still fixed on Sirius and he was still looking at me, we held our gaze just a few seconds longer than we should have, and it made my body go all tingly…until I was pulled into a kiss from Robert.

It was nothing earth shattering just a peck, but it was nice to start the year off right. I was actually surprised he had the balls to do it.

When I looked back over to Sirius he was snogging the girl. My heart fell into my stomach and my eyes started to burn. I had to force myself not to cry.

I told myself over and over that he didn't want me and there was no reason to be so upset about it, but my emotions refused to listen.

Shit, I think I like him a little bit more than I had previously thought.

**She finally admitted the extent of her feelings; I wonder what his feelings could be? Review, pretty please? **


	14. Cupid's Arrow Missed Me, Again

**I want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed. You are all so nice and it is sincerely appreciated. I was so happy I decided to add another chapter. I hope you enjoy! Oh and everything is JKR's, unfortunately. **

**Cupid's Arrow Missed Me, Again**

It was February 14, the most dreaded day of the year for all single people. And unfortunately I was single. After a few dates I had called it off with Robert. He was a really nice guy, but as my affections were growing for a certain marauder I felt it was wrong to string Robert along.

Okay and maybe I had the feeling he was going to end it with me anyways. Sirius had continued his assault on the poor guy, and I wasn't sure he could have handled much more.

Every time Robert was over at my house Sirius conveniently showed up, anytime we went out together Sirius conveniently showed up, and they were less than pleasant visits I can assure you.

Between Siruis's dismemberment threats, his hexes, and his general rudeness towards my "sort of" boyfriend, you would have thought I was dating Severus fucking Snape.

Although he never stood up to Sirius I had to give Robert credit for putting up with the abuse. If I was being accosted daily by a lover's crazy ass friend I would have peaced out real quick. Robert stuck it out though for a little over a month before I had to let him go. I kind of think he was relieved when I broke it off actually.

So as a result I was boyfriendless, but I had resolved to give up on love for a while. I needed me time, time to evaluate who I was before I got into another relationship, but none the less Valentines Day was going to be lonely.

I had told Ginny and Hermione I would watch their kids overnight, so they could have an undisturbed date with their husbands. Seeing as I had nothing better to do and it would stop me from listening to Celine Dion songs over and over or drinking myself to death.

I had stocked my house with kid friendly snacks, toys and games; I hoped it would distract me. They were fun toys, way better than the Barbie's and legos I had to play with.

At 2 pm Ginny and Hermione arrived with Al, James, and Rose.

"James has been talking about this non stop since he found out he was getting to spend the night here." Ginny told me as James ran up and hugged me upon entry.

"That's because I let him do whatever he wants, Ginny" I told her.

I did let him get away with murder. He was my favorite out of all the kids, of course I told them all they were my favorites. But James had this mischievous streak that reminded me a lot of Sirius, who said James act more like his grandpa than his dad.

When I said I liked bad boys that went for children too, I always liked the bad kids better, they are much more entertaining, and James was a riot.

"Well, be good don't drive Auntie Colleen crazy okay" Ginny said to her children as she kissed them goodbye. Hermione hugged rose and told her she loved her before turning to me.

"You're sure you don't mind doing this?" she asked.

"What else have I got to do, wallow in misery? I'd rather not; kids will be a great distraction to my lonely pathetic life." I assured her.

She gave me a comforting smile. "Well, good luck then. I'll be back around noon tomorrow." She said before apparating home.

"Auntie, can I have a snack?" James asked as soon as the mums were gone.

"Sure, what do you want? I have chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties, peanut butter, Nutella, fruit…" I answered. They all chose Chocolate frogs, they were the most entertaining snack, and for the next few hours we stuffed ourselves with chocolate, and played dragon slayer in the toy room upstairs.

At around 6 I heard a pop from the living room and we ran down to see who it was.

"Sirius!!" The kids all yelled and ran down to him. I had no idea why I was Auntie and he was just Sirius, in fact I was the only one they called Auntie, everyone else got called by their first names too. But I didn't mind I had always wanted to be an aunt and never got the chance, due to my sibling's deaths.

"Hey guys, what are you all doing here?" he asked them.

"I was dateless, thanks to you, so I figured I'd give their parents a break and take them for the night" I answered for them.

"What are you doing here? I'd have thought you would have about 10 different girls lined up for tonight?" I asked. I was surprised to see him, obviously. I had expected him to pull out all the stops for some poor girl tonight then never speak to her again.

"Nah, if you take em out on Valentines Day they expect a serious relationship, and besides why spend my night having wild s-e-x." he spelled out so the kids wouldn't understand "when I can be here having a perfectly wholesome night with you darling."

He was still dragging those poor girls along, I was sure one of them would hook him but none ever seemed to be the right one.

Still he would rather be with me on Valentine's Day than anyone else, a fact that I soaked in gleefully.

"You are terrible!" I told him, but he just smiled and shrugged unapologetically.

Sirius decided to stay and help me with the kids and I ordered in pizza for dinner. I wondered what we would have done if they hadn't been here. Although I had promised him no more Titanic, there was always Gone with the Wind.

But the kids were there so after dinner we continued our game of dragon slayer with Sirius as a ferocious Norwegian Ridgeback.

They all thought I made the perfect damsel in distress, not knowing anything about my murderous past obviously, and Rose, James and Al were my Knights in shining armor.

I thought I had a great gig, because all I had to do was call for help from the top of the tower/steps while Sirius was viciously beaten with wooden swords. "Get him, chop off his head Rose!" I yelled laughing as she got Sirius on the back of the neck, and he collapsed in defeat.

After the Ridgeback was taken down I was freed. "My knights! Thank you I thought I would never be free from the terrible Sirius Dragon" I said kissing them all on the head.

I walked down to my living room and kicked the dead dragon that was lying on the floor.

"Oww" Sirius yelped before dragging me to the ground and violently tickling me.

I hated being tickled I would honestly rather be punched in the face.

"Sirius! Stop! I'm going to pee my pants!" I cried out as I desperately tried to wiggle my way free. I was practically paralyzed but still attempted to catch his hands and make him stop. I wished I liked being tickled; having his hands roam all over my body really shouldn't be inflicting so much terror as it was.

"Knights! Help the dragon is back to life!" and I was saved as Sirius was once again pummeled by 3 children and their brutal weapons.

After Sirius could take no more beatings we ate some more chocolate before bath time and bedtime. I didn't really have a bedtime for them but at 10 pm they were exhausted so I tucked them into bed and told them the feminist version of Snow White.

"Then Snow White gave her self the Heimlich maneuver and vomited up the poisonous apple. She found the prince and took his sword to kill the evil queen, then she moved into the palace and they all lived happily ever after, with the dwarves as servants." I finished.

"It doesn't go like that" Sirius said appalled by my version. I could only imagine what kind of fairytales his mother had told him. I imagined their was a lot of muggle murdering in them though.

"Sure it does, in my world the chicks always save the day." I told him. The kids were already asleep and hadn't heard the ending anyway.

Sirius and I went downstairs and sat on the sofa. "Children are ridiculously exhausting" he said yawning. I agreed, I loved them but they kicked my ass.

"Yes they are." I said stretching out and throwing my feet on his lap. He pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lit it with a silver Zippo lighter.

"Ginny'll be pissed if she finds out your still smoking." I told him grabbing it from him and taking a drag. After a night spent with 3 kids under 6 I needed to smoke too.

"Your one to talk darling" he gestured to me.

"Ginny doesn't know I smoke, and I don't really anyway, just when I'm stressed or drinking." I reminded him.

"So pretty much you're always smoking then?" he said and I laughed "pretty much, yeah" and I put out the cigarette. It was a bad habit, but it was comforting, as my mother had been a chain smoker I was born with nicotine running through my veins.

"So no man for Valentines, eh? Kicked Cavanaugh to the curb, did you?" he asked me, looking rather pleased with the fact that I was all alone.

I hated this conversation; somehow it always made me feel unworthy of living when people asked me about boyfriends when I didn't have one. I didn't need one really but other people always assume you do and if you can't get one something is wrong with you. I know he had just meant it as an honest question, but it was still uncomfortable.

"Nope, cupid's arrow has missed me again. It might not of though, if someone hadn't interfered daily, I could be getting fed strawberries and champagne in the candlelight, but nooo you couldn't just let me be " I scowled at him and he gave me a perfectly innocent look. How did he do that when he knew perfectly well this was all his fault.

"Well darling we do have candles and I'm sure I can rummage up some strawberries if you're that desperate for them." He said with a smirk.

I laughed, he really did make it unnaturally hard to hate him, or even be mad at him. He had this endearing quality even though he was severely annoying at times.

"Well, anyways I'm done with men for a while, at least till I find a decent one" I told him, and this was the truth.

I was never the kind of girl to just be with someone because I was lonely, I had done that with Blaise and look how that turned out. No, I was holding out for someone I really liked, namely Sirius Black.

"I think that's best, wouldn't want another Zabini would we?" he responded.

"No, definitely not, I think I've had my heart broken enough for one lifetime" I said sincerely.

He shook his head in agreement "that's why I just play the field, I'll be the only one breaking hearts." He said. He certainly was breaking hearts right and left, all over London.

"You know we are both completely crazy right?" I told him.

It was strange that although we had both been horribly betrayed and were very guarded we acted completely differently in regards to love. Perhaps this because it was a friend not a lover that had betrayed Sirius. Or maybe it was because Sirius was a man; I attempted to find love again and he shagged everything in sight without ever getting attached.

"Of course, all the best people are" he responded smiling "That's why we get along so well." He was right, we understood each other in a way few others could. The loss and the betrayal we had been through shaped us, and left it's invisible scars.

"Really, I thought we got along because you were one of the few people who realized what an awesome person I am" I told him sarcastically.

He looked at me funny and looked as if he had had an epiphany, giving me a fiery sensation up and down my body.

"That too" he responded softly and reached over to run his hands through my hair. He was staring in my eyes and he was leaning in carefully.

My breath quickened as I realized he was going to kiss me. Finally! I began to lean in as well; our lips just centimeters apart…

"POP!" We both jerked back from each other as we heard a loud sound of someone apparating right in front of us.

It was Ginny and Harry, they weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow, what the hell was going on?

"Jen's Hurt, You need to go to Romania, now" Harry told me frantically.

**Man, they were so close, but I thought I'd be a tease and drag this longing phase out. Hope you liked it and please review. **


	15. Horntails and Hospitals

**Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I know it was somewhat of a cliff hanger, but you know I update quickly. I'm trying to post at least two chapters at one time, so we can get to the good stuff sooner. I own nothing and thanks for reading. **

**Horntails and Hospitals**

All my tingling and thoughts of Sirius were replaced by and intense fear and dread. I grabbed Sirius's arm for support, I knew I would fall over if I didn't stabilize myself quickly.

Not Jen too, I can't loose her too.

All these terrible memories of blood and chaos came flooding back into my mind and I became sick with worry for her.

"What happened?" I asked Harry frightened. Both he and Ginny looked at me with sympathy. I think they both realized that I could not take another loss in my life.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I know she was helping with the dragons and I'm thinking she may have been attacked by one of them" he told me slowly.

I was going to kill Charlie Weasley! I had told him not to let her go near the dragons, she was a muggle, and she had no way of defending herself against them. I was terrified, if anything happened to her I would never forgive myself; I would never be ok.

"Okay, okay I need to leave right now." And I rushed upstairs to pack a few things and tried to remain calm. I basically just threw a robe, underwear and deodorant in a bag and ran back downstairs.

"I'll go with you." Sirius told me when I entered the living room. I wondered why he would even want to, I was stressed and frantic, not exactly a recipe for fun.

"You don't have too, Sirius" I replied.

I wasn't sure if I wanted him there considering what had just happened. I really didn't need anymore stress to deal with.

"I want to, it's the least I can do for you" he said earnestly "I'll just pick up some things when I get there." I guessed I could use the extra support.

"Okay, fine I'll just make a portkey." I agreed "Are they at the camp?" I asked Harry.

I was hoping they would have taken her to the local hospital, but I couldn't be sure. Wizards could be terribly stupid sometimes.

"I think they are at the wizarding hospital nearby, but go to the camp, they'll know where you should go from there" he told me. I thanked him and made the portkey to the camp. I was probably going to get into trouble for an unauthorized portkey, but I figured Harry would take care of it.

When Sirius and I got to the camp I ran around asking everyone and anyone where Jen was and was directed to about 5 different people before someone knew the answer. "She is at Hoanghină Hospital in town" an old scarred up witch told me and she apparated there with us.

I went through the normal bullshit with the mediwitches and healers before finding her on the Magical Creature injury ward. They actually thought they would prevent me from seeing her. They clearly didn't understand who I was, I was her best friend god damn it. Thankfully, Sirius realizing there was going to be a fight, used his miraculous and useful charm on the aging healer and we were allowed in the room.

"Jen! Oh my God are you alright?" I yelled as I saw her lying there on the bed bandaged up so I could barely see her and Charlie at her side

"Yeah, I just got a little too close to the Horntail, got fucking burnt and cut up pretty badly." She replied.

A Horntail, they were the most ferocioud dragon around, what the hell was the girl thinking. At least she was awake and talking though, and I was slightly relieved. The bandages were mostly covering her torso and arms. 'It's okay, she's alive' I told myself. I had to remain calm, she was one of those people who could have her arm chopped off but would be okay as long as no one else started freaking out about it.

"Well, at least your pretty face is okay." I said to her smiling, attempting to keep the conerstion light.

"Yeah, what would I do if I lost my looks?" she joked. She was in a decent mood so that was good. After making sure she was alright I turned my anger over to Charlie.

"Charlie Weasley I am going to kill you." I looked over at him threateningly "I told you not to let her anywhere near those things. You promised you would keep her safe, that was the terms under which I let her move away, remember? What the hell were you thinking, she's a muggle! She could have died!" I could have given Molly Weasley a run for her money with my rant.

"Colleen, I told her to stay away, but she was curious, she knew the risks." He said "and she is okay, she didn't die. The healers say she's going to be fine." Charlie replied squeezing Jen's hand.

A hand that I noticed had a rather large diamond ring on it, but I would deal with that later.

"She's not fine Charlie! She is lying in a hospital bed in Romania, covered in bandages!" I was going to kill him, did he not realize the severity of this situation.

Did no one have any idea how this would affect me? Okay so that was a little selfish but, she was the last person from my old life and I loved her like my sister.

"She is not staying in Romania. After this is over she is staying with me. Obviously you do not know how to take care of her." I finished with a huff.

"Colleen, I'll be fine, don't worry, I'm staying in Romania okay." Jen reassured me.

'We'll see about that' I thought, but no need to get her worked up.

"She'll be okay Darling; you both have been through much worse." Sirius said rubbing my back.

I felt a little comforted at this but then I noticed Jen raising an eyebrow as he touched me. Damn her! She's lying in a hospital severely injured and she is still noticing these stupid things between me and black?

Wait until I told her about tonight, she would flip.

"She better be Weasley, or you're going to be finding out why everyone thinks I am such an unstable bitch." I warned him. No one fucked with my friend and got away with it.

"Everyone out; I need to talk to her alone." I demanded of Charlie and Sirius. Charlie grudgingly agreed and kissed Jen on the head before stepping out.

"What the hell is this?" I asked her grabbing her hand and smiling as soon as the men had left the room. So I was mad at Charlie; I still thought he and Jen were so good together and I was happy for her.

"He proposed tonight." She said beaming up at me.

"On Valentine's Day? How romantic…well except for the part where you were brutally attacked by a Hungarian Horntail" I said. That might have put a damper on the mood.

"Even that part was romantic. You should have seen him going after the dragon; he was like a knight from a fairytale." She told me smiling happily. I guess she had to find the upside to a dragon attack. But I did find it a little strange that only hours before, I was also being attacked by a dragon.

"I'm really happy for you, and look at that ring, the one you've always wanted" I smiled at her. She looked genuinely happy which was amazing considering her current condition.

Charlie and Sirius entered the room again, the latter carrying a cup of coffee for me. I thanked him as I drank the sweet, perfect, wonderful Caffeine. He knew how to make it just how I liked it too, lots of cream and sugar.

Now that I was sure Jen would recover my thoughts slipped back to Sirius for a moment, but then I remembered I was still pissed at Charlie.

"So you're going to marry my friend eh Weasley? That's funny because I don't recall you asking my permission." I said quizzically.

He looked a little frightened. Jen took my opinions very seriously, not that I would ever tell her who to marry, but Charlie didn't know that. Jen rolled her eyes at me and Sirius said "I told you she would be pissed about that, mate."

Charliw just sighed, "Colleen…may I have your permission to marry Ms. Jen Belmont?" He asked me very dramatically. I almost had a mind to say no but instead replied

"I guess so, as long as you keep her away from the fucking dragons!"

* * *

I had wanted to stay the night in the hospital but at 2 am Jen had told me to go get some sleep and reminded me that Charlie would be there, so I had nothing to worry about. I complied with her wishes but only after throwing a fit and then promising to return bright and early in the morning.

I knew Charlie would take care of her, he loved her. However I couldn't help feeling a little sad that she had picked him to stay over me. I knew she would and she should, he was her fiancé, but I still felt like I was being replaced in some way.

I was like one of those parents that have no idea what to do with themselves after their kids leave home.

Sirius and I apparated to Jen and Charlie's small house and I immediately went into her room to find something to sleep in, a comfy black tank and pj pants.

When I emerged I found Sirius standing in the living room wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers.

'Don't stare, Don't stare' I told myself over and over, but it was too late because I already was.

How could I help looking at him? His toned chest with the light dusting of black hair, his hard abs, and muscular arms covered in black tattoos, it was like one of those muggle calendars of the firefighters.

I was pulled back into reality when he bolted past me yelling "I get the bed!" That bastard, Jen and Charlie only had a one bedroom home.

I ran in after him but he was already under the covers when I entered the room.

"Siriussss" I whined "come on let me have the bed." I had had a rough day the least he could do was hand it over. But no, Sirius Black would never do that willingly, he could be such a douche.

"Not hardly darling, though you more than welcome to share. I do hate to sleep alone" and he gave me a lecherous look as he patted the spot next to him. Is that the reason he always had a plethora of women in bed with him? I doubted it.

I was tempted by his offer, I can't say I wasn't, but then I thought of our almost kiss earlier in the night and became uncomfortable with the idea.

"No, Sirius. Come on, there is a lovely Sofa out there just waiting for you." I said trying to entice him.

"Bullshit. I'm staying right here." He replied smiling.

Ugh I guess I would be sleeping with him after all, I was too tired to attempt to sleep on the couch, and I figured he might read something into it if I didn't, after all why couldn't two platonic friends share a bed?

"Fine; move over" I told him as I crawled into the bed "and don't snore."

Oh god, I could feel the heat radiating off his body and it was making me a little woozy.

"I knew I'd have you crawling into bed with me one day McAvoy." He said with a smirk. I just laughed at him.

"Shut up and go to sleep Sirius."

I rolled over so as not to face him and heard him say goodnight. I was going to try to sleep but I doubted I would be able to; it was a very trying day. Apparently I was more tired than I had thought and was asleep before I realized it.

I awoke at 5:00 because I had to pee really badly, but tried in vain to get up. I found myself trapped in the covers and under Sirius. He had his arm and leg flung over me effectively pinning me down to the bed.

My face was pressed up to his collar bone and I could feel his heart beating in a slow steady rhythm. I could also feel something hard resting against my leg that I both wanted and didn't want to feel.

I tried to wriggle myself free from him, but as I moved away he groaned and pulled me in tighter. Crap, I was going to have to wake him.

I wished I didn't have to pee so much; otherwise I could have just lied there like that with him for hours. I was perfectly comfortable and safe except for my bursting bladder.

"Sirius wake up" I said as I softly scratched in between his brows. He made a face and tried to swat my hand away. I didn't want to startle him too much because he could be a little jumpy sometimes. 12 years in Azkaban will do that to you I guess.

"Sirius" I said a little louder this time "wake up I have to go potty."

He did wake up then and looking a little disoriented rolled off of me and I sprung up to use the bathroom.

When I got back into bed he appeared to have fallen back asleep, not that he had ever really woken up. I lied down and pulled the covers over myself and jut as I did he threw his arm back over my chest and buried his head in my hair.

"You smell good" he murmured half asleep.

I smiled; he looked rather sweet and peaceful while sleeping. He smelled good too, he had that same Ammorentia smell that he had at Christmas; Musky and clean. I think he was trying to kill me. But I can honestly say it was the best sleep I had gotten in a long time.

Sirius and I were both startled out of our sleep by the alarm at 7:30, way to early for both of us. As the clock was on my side he rolled completely on top of me to turn it off.

I noticed the hardness in his boxers was still there, he didn't seem to notice or if he did, he didn't care. 'Get your mind out of the gutter bitch' I told myself.

"Sirius Get off, I can't breathe" I said to him trying to suck in air and push him off of me at the same time.

He looked at me as though he forgot I was the one sleeping with him. "Ugh, it is much too early to wake up" he said throwing himself back down onto the pillow.

"Come on, get up we have to go to the hospital, you're supposed to be my moral support remember." I said shaking him. He gave me a death glare; he may have hated mornings even more than I did and I really hated mornings, almost as much as I hated cleaning and wearing shoes.

"Well at least I had a good sleep, you're not a bad bed partner to have darling" he said sitting up and stretching. Really I wasn't? "We'll have to do it again sometime" and he winked at me. Hell yes, we could do this every day until I died, but he couldn't know that, not yet.

"You are hopeless." I smiled at him shaking my head.

**I hope everyone liked this, please don't forget to review. **


	16. A Sirius Fight

**A Sirius Fight: I swore to myself I would not use this pun, but it was just too easy. Thank you to all who reviewed and please continue, I like to hear how I'm doing and last but not least I own nothing. **

**A Sirius Fight **

Jen only had to stay in the hospital a few days and so by the end of the week she was back at home recovering nicely. I had sent Sirius back to London as soon as she had come home. I felt like he would distract me and I was there for her, she needed me, or I thought she did anyway.

"So what's up with you and Sirius?" Jen asked me as she took a huge bite out of her pizza. We had basically just been hanging out gorging ourselves on junk food. This is what we always did while she was sick or after she had a surgery; it was comforting and familiar, brought me back to the good old days before I became a witch.

"I don't know" I said exasperated "We almost kissed on v day but then Harry popped in and told me you were hurt so we didn't" He hadn't mentioned the almost kiss and he seemed to not be phased at all, even when I was sharing her bed with him.

"You didn't tell me that!" she exclaimed slapping me on the arm. "details" she demanded. The sad part was that those were the details.

"There are none, we almost kissed and then we both pretended like nothing happened for the rest of the weekend." I said throwing up my hands. "Well he did cuddle me while we slept, but then so do you… I think he just doesn't like to be alone"

She looked at me like I was stupid "I wish you two would just get on with it already! It's so fucking obvious that he is ready to tear off your clothes whenever he sees you, would you please just give the man some encouragement?"

What the hell was she talking about? My delusions about Sirius possibly liking me must have transferred to her, hey stranger things have happened. However, for a moment I had that small flash of hope that she was right, before I remembered who I was talking to.

"You think everyone likes me, Jen" I reminded her. "And I don't know how I can encourage any further without downright telling him that I'm in love with him."

The words came out before I realized what happened. I loved him? Was I in love with him? I didn't know. I was getting in way over my head; I knew that much, because Sirius may have wanted to tear my clothes off but I was positive his feelings ended there.

"You're in love with him?" she asked happily. Did she not see how miserable I looked? I was done with love, d-o-n-e, done.

"I don't know; it is unrequited love if I am" I said gloomily.

"I wouldn't be so sure, he really does like you; even Charlie thinks so" she told me. I questioned that theory. "Charlie also let you run around with dragons, so I will not trust his opinion on anything" I said to her.

* * *

I left Jen the next day. She was doing much better and I figured she and her new fiancé needed some alone time. I was still tremendously confused about the Colleen and Sirius situation, but I wouldn't solve anything by hiding out in Romania.

I went to my house and cleaned up a bit, had a shot and prepared to confront Sirius. I needed to know what his feelings were for me, if he even had any. That was a terrifying thought, what if he thought I was just some silly little girl who had a crush?

I wouldn't think about that, Jen and Charlie said they were sure he at least liked me. I would be fine.

I put on a pair of dark jeans and a green low cut sweater that made my boobs look big. I had to be a little enticing right? and apparated to his house, my heart pounding nervously in my chest. I could do this, I had bested an evil wizard, I could certainly do something as simple as telling a boy I liked him.

When I appeared in his living room, I gasped and had to hold back my tears. He was naked on the couch with that blonde witch from New Year's Eve.

This was not how I anticipated the evening going at all. I had been scared he would have turned me down, but I think in my heart I honestly believed he had feelings for me.

But I had gotten my answer, without having to utter a word to him. If Sirius had any feelings for me he would not be shagging her. I stood there for a moment before they even noticed me, I had actually been hoping to slip out undetected, but luck was not on my side. It never was.

"Colleen, what the bloody hell are you doing? And you said I was a voyeur." He said jovially as they both tried to cover up. Colleen? I was Colleen now, huh?

My blood was boiling with anger and rage and heartbreak, an explosive and deadly combination. How fucking dare he play me like this! I was not some bitch that could stand to have her emotions toyed with, did he not know what I had been through?

'No, he didn't know, because I hadn't told him, only Jen knew the truth' My more rational self said trying to reason with me. Unfortunately I was much too angry to be consoled by even myself.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Sirius!" I screamed at him and they both looked shocked, and a bit confused.

"What?" he stuttered out.

"I can't stand this anymore! Every time I see you, you're fucking some random bitch!"

The current random bitch looked offended by this, I really had not meant to insult her, but oh well she got caught in the cross fire, it happens.

"You are disgusting!" I continued yelling.

He kept his startled look for another moment, before it turned to anger. He pushed the girl off of him and stood up, although he was still completely naked, he didn't seem to notice. Had I not been so livid I would have enjoyed the view.

"Why the fuck do you care!" He shouted back at me, his face twisted up in anger. "You are always off trying to find someone new to shag."

I was surprised he did not try to defend her or himself for that matter. But was he insane? I was not in it for the shagging, I was sick of being alone.

"No I am not! I am trying to have a normal healthy relationship, but for some reason, you feel like you have to ruin it." I shot back at him. The girl looked very uncomfortable with this altercation, and I kind of felt bad for her.

"You are so bloody stupid, none of your relationships were normal or healthy, because you're fucking crazy, it had nothing to do with me or them, you ruined things for yourself!"

He had lost his damn mind; in that moment I knew he was the root of all evil and the source of all my problems. For the record he had started insulting me first, you all see that right?

"How dare you call me crazy, you son of a bitch! The only thing I did wrong was letting you into my life!" I cried out.

He looked slightly hurt by my comment. Good, I would hit him where it hurt. But I had forgotten that Sirius was also quite skilled in the art of the low blow.

"I certainly didn't ask to be in your life! If I would have known what a stupid slut you were I would have stayed dead." he screamed.

That was just uncalled for, he could be so flipping mean, not that I was being particularly nice either. I was about to insult him some more but he was quicker than me.

" It is none of you bloody concern who I sleep with, because it will never be you, hell Zabini chose Millicent Bulstrode over you, what does that say?" he said viciously. Ouch, that was a bad one, I think he was winning the argument so far, but I was about to let him have it.

I slapped him in the face. This was going way too far.

"Fuck you Sirius! Your own mother didn't even love you; she wanted nothing to do with you, what does that say?" I yelled throwing his own words back at him.

"It says she was a crazy, selfish, undesirable bitch, just like you!" He compared me to his mother? What the hell. Was I like his mother? I hoped not, I had seen a portrait of her once in the attic of Grimauld place and she was not a pleasant woman. Rather nasty really.

I think he knew he went too far and became quiet, so I put in the last words. I was choking back my tears, embarrassed that he would see me crying. I didn't really want him to know how he had cut me, but I knew he would feel bad for making me cry, so I brought out the waterworks.

"You are a terrible person Sirius Black! I never want to see you again." I said with venom before apparating home.

I had gone over there to find out if he felt the same way I did, and we ended up in a huge fight, how did this happen? I suppose I overreacted when I saw him naked with that girl, but how could I not? I think the hardest thing in life was watching someone you love, loving someone else, or at least fornicating with her.

I needed a drink, yes that would help I was sure, or it might make me feel worse. It was worth a shot or 6. So I went down to my kitchen, broke out the vodka and cranberry, and cried. I knew I shouldn't let him get to me like that, but I did. I had just realized how much I wanted him, and he just told me he would never even consider me. He was right, Blaise did choose Bulstrode over me, what did that say?

I didn't feel like talking to anyone about what had happened and was content with going into hiding, but Ginny and Hermione came bursting in as I was sobbing and taking shot after shot.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" Hermione asked as she came over to hug me and steal my bottle of vodka. Damn her and her temperance ways. "We heard what happened, with you and Sirus."

News sure did travel fast didn't it? It had been what, an hour since the blowout? It didn't help that all my friends were either friends or married to each other.

I didn't think they knew about my feelings for Sirius so I left that part out, but did tell them about the fight, still crying softly.

"I'm sure he didn't mean any of it Colleen." Ginny said reassuringly.

"He came over so torn up; I haven't seen him this upset since he was told he was getting the Dementor's kiss." Hermione added and Ginny nodded her head in concurrence.

Good, I thought to myself, that's what he gets for being a man whore.

"Honestly, he went straight for the firewhiskey and told us, well, told Harry as we eavesdropped from behind the door, that you had fought, he didn't even know why, and that you said you hated him and never wanted to see him again." Ginny explained to me what hse had heard.

"Well he's right about that. He said some very cruel things; he compared me to his mother for god's sake." I exclaimed, that was the insult to end all. "Why would I want to see him? And besides he is with that blonde bitch now anyways, so he doesn't need me around."

They looked at each other knowingly, I felt left out of the loop. "Is that what his is about? Him and Grace?" Hermione asked gently putting her hand over mine.

Grace; that was her name huh, I'll just refer to her as enemy number 1. But damn, I had let on my secret, no use denying it now.

"I guess. I don't know really, I just kind of freaked out" I said glumly.

"If you like him why don't you just tell him?" Ginny advised, unfortunately those where the wrong words to say.

I would not be in this mess, if I would have just decided to keep my mouth shut and let these feelings pass, they would have with time, maybe. I knew he didn't want me, I was nothing compared to the girls he dated, but I let myself be talked into it when I knew it was a lie.

I was just some girl Sirius talked to when no one else was available, nothing more, and the sooner I was able to accept that the better off I would be.

"That's what I went over to do, Ginny and look at how it turned out." I said taking my anger out on her. "Some things don't end happily ever after, especially for me, people just need to realize that and leave me the hell alone."

I stormed up the stairs leaving them in my kitchen. I felt bad about going off on Ginny but they really didn't get, just because they were able to find everlasting love with the men of their dreams didn't mean we all did.

My life was a tragedy while everyone else was skipping through a god damn field of wildflowers. Their hardships ended when Voldermort did, but mine had just started with Bolvechek and were still going strong. I laid down in my bed, I needed sleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to someone shaking me. I felt like hell from all the liquor the night before and the movement was not helping the hangover.

My eyes would have been blinded by the lights coming through the window, but they were practically swollen shut from my sobfest.

When I finally managed to get them opened fully, I saw Sirius standing at the side of my bed, looking about as bad as I felt.

He was wearing wrinkled and disheveled clothing, unshaven and smelling of firewhiskey. The bags under his eyes told me he hadn't slept last night, or at least not well. He was the last person I wanted to see.

I looked at him for a moment but didn't say anything and he gave me a desperate stare. He deserved to look so miserable, all I did was yell at him about his sexual habits and he had turned it into a brutal slandering of my character.

"I didn't mean it" he said softly and sincerely "any of it" I could tell he was terribly upset, and he refused to meet my eyes.

He was man enough to apologize, so I supposed I could forgive him. After all he was one of my best friends, and I really just could not hate him no matter how much easier it would make it on me. He had this charisma that made everyone love him.

I would just have to live with the fact that he didn't have the same feelings for me that I had for him. Eh, but I would make him suffer a little longer, his words had been much harsher than mine, after all.

"Fine," I replied then shut my mouth and looked away from him. He sat on my bed.

"Come on, darling, you know I didn't mean it." He said again this time in a more pleading tone and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I know I am a terrible bastard and you said you never wanted to see me again, but do you honestly believe I would let that happen?" He asked me in a dominant voice.

"and anyway, you'll be banging down my door by the end of the week, so you might as well save yourself the trouble and forgive me now." He threw in, Well he wasn't normal, so I never expected a norml apology.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Really Sirius, Really? I am not the one begging for forgiveness at…" I stopped to look at the clock "6:15 in the damn morning."

Damn him, how could I be fine with him, after all the nasty things he had said to me too. I really felt no hatred like I wanted to, just hurt feelings. 'It's because you love him and because you get each other' said that stupid little voice in my head. I wish that bitch would go away.

He smiled "touché darling." And he shrugged giving me a boyish grin.

"Ugh, fine, you're forgiven, well as long as you go downstairs and whip me up a double hangover potion." I agreed. I felt like crap and he was really good at hangover potions.

"Done" he said and kissed me on the head as he went into the kitchen. Bastard.

"So why were you mad at me anyway?" he asked me handing me the potion as he reentered my bedroom. I gulped it down. Ick, they were so foul tasting, but I instantly felt better.

"Oh I don't know I was stressed about Jen, and I started my period." I explained. I wasn't about to tell him the real reason I had flown off the handle and I figured that would throw him off that topic; it did.

"I'm sorry I even asked, but I'll make a note not come around at the end of the month" he replied seriously. I wasn't even due for another week, but replied "I think that's for the best."

So, all was forgiven and we were okay. Well he was okay anyways, he had decided to keep Grace around much to my dismay, but I was just going to have to learn to live with it. Well, for now; He would tire of her soon; they were all missing that certain something after all. Summer was just around the corner and I was ready for it, sunshine always made me feel better. I would deal, I would be fine. I would live. Maybe.

**A/N: So, I figured I would explain a little about this chapter. They seem to be fighting over nothing and I know Sirius came off kind of mean, but when I read the books I notice he is kind of mean. All of his anger is coming from him wanting Colleen and her not reciprocating the feelings, so he thinks. There is a lot of pent up sexual frustration in him that he tries to get rid of with other girls. **

**As for the apology, I had this big mushy scene written out but I scratched it. They are both guarded and unmushy people, and I thought it would be out of character for them. I realize she forgives him really quickly, but she is in love with him, it happens. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review. **


	17. Beach Bums

**Hello to all my lovely readers, I have another chapter for you. Hope you enjoy. Of course I own nothing but the plot and my oc's. **

**Beach Bums**

Summer was finally here, it had been a brutal wait for the glowing warmth of the sun. England could get awfully gloomy, with all the clouds and torrential downpours, and the cold certainly hadn't helped my mood.

I was in the kitchen of Grimauld place waiting for Ginny to bring down James and Al; I was taking them and Teddy to the beach in Dover.

Ginny was quite pregnant at this point and she needed some down time and I was all too happy to take the boys for the day, they were painfully amusing.

I heard the pop of someone apparating and Sirius walked into the kitchen. Once again my heart gave a flutter, what was wrong with me? I should be over him by now.

I was beginning to think he knew exactly what he was putting me through, why else would he be so overtly sexy, the bastard.

He sauntered over too me in a pair of well fitting jeans a black tee and a light leather jacket, and a cigarette in his mouth. He had this like Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp thing going on, and it was working for him.

"Hello Darling, You going to the beach?" He asked. Noticing my beach bag, and towel.

"Yeah, I'm taking Teddy, Al and James. Do you wanna come?" I asked. Just then we heard Ginny and the boys coming down the stairs.

He took a long drag off the cigarette before putting it out, and charming the air with a freshener so you couldn't smell the smoke. "Our little secret." He said smiling at me.

Ginny would yell at him for smoking, I think I was the only one who knew he hadn't quit. Although I am not sure how, he wasn't exactly sneaky about the fact was he?

Ginny and the boys minus Teddy entered the kitchen. "Oh, hey Sirius; Are you going with them?" Ginny asked.

"Well, I was supposed to…never mind, Yeah, I think I will. Do you have any trunks I can borrow, and a towel?" He asked her as he had not came prepared.

"I'm sure Harry has some; let me run upstairs and look." She told us and hurried away.

* * *

So we were still waiting 5 minutes later; the boys were playing with their Quidditch figures at the table, and I was just talking about random things to Sirius.

"How's your girl?" I asked him. He had been dating enemy number 1, aka Grace for a few months now. I didn't like her, mostly because she was seeing my man, but she seemed like a big bitch anyway.

"Boring" he replied. "I think I'm gonna break up with her."

Thank God. I was beginning to think he would never get rid of her.

"Sirius" I told him. "You are such a player."

To that he replied "I can't help it, I always think they're going to be different than they turn out to be, and anyways, the girl I really want doesn't want me so I might as well play around, right?"

The girl he really wanted? Who was this bitch? I knew it was stupid, but I always held onto the hope that he would realize that he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. It was a pipe dream; of course he wouldn't want me when he had his pick of any of the women in the UK. My life was so depressing.

"How do you know this girl doesn't want you? Every witch in London is ready to jump your bones. Have you asked her?" I questioned him, hoping that he had and she turned him down cold.

"That's not true, you don't try to jump my bones" He said laughing at my terminology.

"That's because I know where your bones have been" I answered him sarcastically.

If he only knew the reason I wasn't all over him was because I was terrified of rejection.

"Mmhmm, I'm sure that's why, and to answer your question, no I haven't asked her, but I don't need to it's quite obvious she doesn't want me" He said.

"If you say so, but I think you should ask and make sure." I told him, if she said no I might have a chance and if she said yes, I would just have to get over it, get some peace, move on with my life, kill myself.

He walked over to where I was leaning against the countertop, and put his hands on the granite on either side of me, effectively trapping me in.

What the hell was he trying to do to me? How was I supposed to get over this silly crush, when he was always doing something I found ridiculously sexy? He was close enough that I could smell him; Ammorentia, I would have to find out what the smell actually was so I could douse everything I owned in it.

His lips got very close to me and I thought for a moment he was going to kiss me, "You're probably right, she can be rather stupid, maybe she doesn't know how I feel." And said he looked me right in the eye.

Wait. Was he talking about me, or was I just getting my hopes up? I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust. I was so confused, but I didn't have much time to dwell because at that very moment Ginny came in with the trunks and towel. This was the second time she had interrupted my possible kiss with Sirius; Life ruiner.

Sirius pulled away quickly. "Thanks Ginny." He said to her and went to put them on.

"What the hell was that about?" She asked me excitedly referencing what she walked in on. I think all of my friends were hoping we would get together, and then we could all go on quadruple dates together, live happily ever after, etc.

"I have no idea, he was just talking about breaking up with his girlfriend and then I thought he was going to kiss me, but you ruined the moment." I playfully hit her.

I heard Sirius coming back into the kitchen, talking to Teddy who had just flooed in, and Ginny and I both shut up and turned our attention to the little boys.

I was distracted from my thoughts on Sirius by the obnoxious cuteness of James and Al in swimming trunks and goggles. Teddy entered the kitchen in his swimming gear.

He looked more and more like Remus everyday, or at least like the pictures of him I had seen. Except for his mother's flair for crazy hair colors, today he had blue.

Sirius looked hilarious. He had on Harry's trunks which were much too short for him and his leather jacket and tee. I laughed aloud.

"Who are you trying to be? The Fonz." I asked him.

"What? No. Who's the Fonz?" He said. Some things only a muggleborn will find the humor in.

"Never mind, Muggle thing." I replied shaking my head.

"Okay, everybody ready?" I asked as I readied to apparate. "We'll be back around five I think, we'll probably get dinner." I told Ginny.

Sirius grabbed James and I held Al, Teddy and Sirius grabbed my arm and we were swooshed off behind some rocks on a secluded part of the beach.

* * *

I was a little self conscious about my bikini after my confusing experience with Sirius in the kitchen. I wished for a moment that I had brought my one piece, which was stupid seeing as he had seen me naked about a million times but still.

I decided, whether he had been talking about me or not, it wouldn't hurt for him to see me in something skimpy, it might work out in my favor. I dropped the towel I had covering myself and without looking at him grabbed the kids and walked over to the water.

I didn't hear him behind us so I turned around to find him staring at me. 'Good' I thought to myself. "Are you coming?" I asked him.

"Yeah" he replied shaken out of his daze and we spent the next few hours swimming and building sandcastles.

I noticed Teddy was flirting with some girls he met at the food stand. "Was Remus like that?" I asked Sirius pointing to Teddy.

"Ha, he could be sometimes, but mostly he was too worried about the werewolf thing." I always felt bad for Remus even though I had never met him; it must have been hard to be a werewolf.

"I guess I don't have to ask if you were like that." I said. No doubt he was.

"No, you don't, I was a million times worse." He said laughing.

"Were? You still are." I said throwing some sand at him.

He smiled and shrugged. "Old habits and such" he replied with a shrug

He had removed the jacket and tee shirt and I was forced to look at a well sculpted body. He had changed so much from the skinny, sickly looking man I had found in the kitchen of Grimauld place.

He seemed to be in a pretty good mood so I thought I would ask him a question that I had been curious about for a while "Hey, Sirius where did you get your tattoos?" I asked him. I had always wondered but I thought the answer was Azkaban so I never wanted to bring it up.

"Azkaban" He said darkly. Crap, I hoped this wouldn't ruin the day for him, nothing like bringing up a miserable past to kill the fun.

"I thought so. What do they mean?" I asked rubbing my hand over the markings; they were some kind of ancient writings. His skin broke out in goose bumps when my fingers made contact with his skin and he looked at me curiously.

"Different things; this one means vengeance" said pointing to the one on his chest, "This one on my arm is justice, and this one is forgiveness." He showed me his forearm.

I was bothered by one thing. "Did you give them to yourself?" I asked carefully, it must have really been terrible in there, if he could tattoo himself with no problems. "Yeah, there wasn't a lot to do, and those guys in the muggle prison movies always have them, I thought I needed some street cred." He joked.

Poor Sirius, Azkaban had to be rough if he was willing to carve into his own flesh.

"Yeah, that's pretty bad ass, I didn't have the balls to do it thought, so I just made this lovely shank." I said pulling out my deadly toothbrush. I too had gotten the idea from muggle prisoners.

He let out a bark like laugh. "You know we're bloody crazy right?" He pulled the shank away from me to inspect it, brushing my hand as he did this, though he pretended not to notice. I however, could not ignore the electricity that shot through my fingers when we made contact.

"Yeah, you told me that after I woke up in the pumpkin patch, only I was the only crazy one then" I reminded him, as I attempted to gather to my senses.

"I'm glad I'm corporeal again. It was miserable watching you have all the fun."

Just then James ran up and threw a bucket of water over Sirius' head. He looked shocked for a moment as the boys and I died laughing. "You're dead little man!" he cried out as he got up and started chasing the boy around.

We left the beach as the sun was beginning to set, turning the sky an amazing shade of purple and red. We were all exhausted, in the best kind of way and Sirius had to carry James on our way back to the hidden rock so we could apparate in private.

We apparated into the living room of Grimauld place, to find Ginny and Harry lounging on the sofa. "Did you guys have fun?" she asked noticing her sleeping children, and a very tired looking godson. "Yeah, it was a good time" Teddy said to her and proceeded to tell her the events of the day.

After everyone said goodbye to Teddy and he had flooed home, Ginny carried both James and Al up to bed. Did you ever notice that moms are ridiculously strong?

"Grace came over here earlier looking for you Sirius" Harry told him as Sirius grimaced. "She said it was her Birthday, and you were supposed to meet her for dinner, does that sound familiar?" Harry looked at Sirius exasperated. "It might" Sirius replied trying to avoid both Harry and my gaze.

"Sirius! You stood her up on her birthday, that's just low" I scolded him. I knew I would feel like crap if my boyfriend ditched me on my bday. Even though I didn't like the girl I still expected Sirius to follow the rules of a relationship.

"Oh, come on it's not that bad" he defended himself "I weighed my options for the day and the beach trip with you won out over a boring birthday dinner with Grace." While I was flattered that he had picked to spend the day with me and the kids it still wasn't the right thing to do. "That is so selfish, Sirius" I said to him disappointed.

"Don't give me the guilt trip, Darling. You didn't tell her where I was did you Harry?" Sirius told me and asked Harry.

Harry looked down sheepishly. "Of course I did, I didn't know it was her birthday and I didn't know I was supposed to lie" He said.

"Damn, she's going to be angry; I hope she doesn't hold out on me" Sirius said with just the slightest hint of worry in his voice. He would be worried about the lack of sex.

"I suppose I'd better go apologize to her. I'll see you guys later." And with that Sirius apparated to, I assume Grace's flat. He took my heart with him.

"I wish he would just break up with her, I know he doesn't like her" Harry said to me. I wondered if Harry was aware of my feelings for Sirius. Most likely he was as Ginny was his wife and she had a rather big mouth.

"Me too, Harry" I said smiling sadly. "Well, I better get home, I'll see you around."

I went home and immediately changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. My brain was trying to decipher what had happened that day with me and Sirius. I was still not sure if he liked me at all, maybe I was just fooling myself, but he did say he was in love with someone other than Grace. This was a comforting thought, though I tried not to get my hopes up too much, it was not worth getting crushed again.

**Hope you liked it; I suspect Sirius will not be able to hold his feelings in for much longer. I'm excited! Oh, and thanks to everyone who reviews, I appreciate it. **


	18. Falling From Grace

**Hey everybody, Sorry about the chapter mix up, I grabbed the wrong file. Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews. I understand your frustration with Colleen and Sirius, they are always so close and then nothing. Hopefully this chapter will alleviate some of that for you. And as always I don't own anything. **

**Falling From Grace**

3 weeks had passed since the kitchen incident with Sirius and I was still confused as to what he meant by it. He hadn't brought the subject up again and he was still dating enemy no. 1, even after he ditched her on her birthday; some women just have no self respect.

It was June 16th and Al's 3rd birthday party so I was pretty excited. I had gotten him the newest toy broom on the market; it was modeled after the Firebolt 5000 and I thought it was pretty cool. So I put on a pink sundress, slapped on some makeup and headed over to Grimauld place.

I was one of the first to arrive and I started to help Ginny and Molly out in the Kitchen. I don't know how they could make so much food, but they had everything anyone could possibly want, though the cake was the best part, completely chocolate and covered with some type of flaming candy that George had invented.

Sirius came in a little bit late with Grace on his arm although they did not look particularly happy, in turn making me very happy.

The night wore on there was nothing unusual about it, except Grace and the death glares she was giving me. 'what the hell is her deal?' I wondered. But still, I wasn't too concerned with her and chose to ignore her stares and her all together, as much as possible.

Al had loved my gift, and almost broke my knee cap when he flew into me while trying it out. I was having a good time, but was starting to get a little tipsy off the champagne, so I went out back to get some air.

James had followed me out and sat on the porch swing with me with his head in my lap. I was smoking, as I had been drinking, while petting James' head. I think he had fallen asleep by the time Sirius came out.

"Smoking, McAvoy?" Sirius asked as he sat down next to me, grabbing the cigarette from my hand and taking a drag.

"You're one to talk." I said.

"Yeah, but these things will kill you, and I've already died, so I'm not so worried about it, you on the other hand have a long while left." He said mater of factly.

"I'll take my chances." I said grabbing it back from him.

"Suit yourself."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Grace came out and told Sirius she was ready to go. She gave me a dirty look before she shut the door.

"What's her problem?" I asked him offended.

"I thought you were done with her, anyway." I was offended, what a bitch, she never liked me and I never understood why.

"You, know she never liked me." I told him. Your lover should like your friends' right? Isn't there some kind of rule about that?

" I'm trying to let her down gently and I haven't thought of a proper way to do it yet." He told me. I gave him credit for trying to be nice to her however annoying it may be.

I'll show him the proper way to do it.

"Why don't you just say Bitch, you got to go!" I said as I mimicked kicking Grace to the curb. " It's very straight and to the point I bet she'll appreciate it."

Haha that would be funny, I laughed at my own wit, he should say that. I wonder what she would do?

"Perhaps you misunderstood when I said gently?" He asked lettin out his signature laugh. "But your right, whenever I'm with Grace I'm imagining someone else, it isn't fair to string her along anymore."

Who was he imagining? I'll kill her.

Just then the topic of our conversation swung the door open so hard the widow pane shattered.

"You do know the window is open, and I can hear everything you just said?!" Grace yelled at Sirius.

"Shit" we both said at the same time.

* * *

James had woken up from the sound of shouting and breaking glass and was quite startled.

I stood and helped the boy up "Come on," I told him "let's go inside, we'll leave them to their lover's quarrel."

"You, stay right where you are!" Grace yelled at me her eyes flashing with hatred. " This has everything to do with you and you are going to hear it!"

What the hell was she talking about it had everything to do with me? No it didn't. But still I ushered James inside and saw the whole party standing at the door listening. I laughed and shook my head at them before turning back to Sirius and Grace.

"Okay," I replied suspiciously "but I don't see how this has anything to do with me." I said looking her dead in the eye and her face grew flushed.

"You're sleeping with him!" She said accusingly and pointing to Sirius.

She had clearly lost her mind. I really didn't know how she came to that conclusion, but she was obviously very wrong. I saw the girls he slept with, herself included, they were all the epitome of perfection. Something I was a far cry from.

"What? No I'm not!" I yelled back at her "I have rules about taken men." And I did unfortunately.

"Grace! will you just shut the fuck up, you're making an ass out of yourself!" Sirius yelled at her. "I am not sleeping with Colleen" he assured her, but she did not look convinced.

"Can we please do this somewhere else? I'd rather not have every person I know listening to your rants." He said pointing to the window where the group inside was standing with there mouths hung open, listening to every word. They all turned away once they had been caught and pretended not to be paying attention. Ron started whistling a tune, real sneaky eh?

"No, Sirius, we are going to do this right now! Don't lie to me! She yelled slapping him in the face. " Don't Lie, I know you're fucking her!"

Oh crap, I thought, shit is gonna hit the fan now. Sirius had a flash of anger in his eyes and I knew he was pissed off by the way his jaw was set. I thought for a moment he was going to hit her back but thankfully he didn't, I didn't think I would approve of him hitting a woman, no matter how vile she was.

"No I am not Grace, though I probably should be I'm sure she would be much better than you." He said to her coldly.

Somehow I doubted it. She looked very limber.

"See! See I knew it! You're in love with her." She continued to yell at him as she pointed at me. "You want her more than you want me and don't you dare lie Sirius, it's so bloody obvious,"

"If it's so bloody obvious Grace, why are you even asking me about it, why are we even fighting?" Sirius said viciously.

I noticed he never denied being in love with me and that struck me as odd. Why wouldn't he just tell her he wasn't, he had no problems informing her we weren't sleeping together.

They were both still screaming at each other and the situation was getting very uncomfortable for me, so I tried to sneak back into the house. I almost felt bad for Grace because this is how she must have felt when Sirius and I had our fight.

"Where the hell, do you think you are going?!" She caught me and yelled. Damn. Maybe I didn't feel that bad for her after all.

"This really has nothing to do with me, and I'm not going to sit here and let you accuse me of something I didn't do!" This was bullshit, honestly, me sleeping with Sirius; in my dreams maybe.

"Please, I've seen the way he looks at you and the touches when he thinks no one sees" Grace yelled at me. "I can't even count how many times he has ditched me to be with you. He even left me on my god damn Birthday to take you to the beach!"

Okay, I did feel bad about that one, but we all knew Sirius could be a douchebag.

"Well, maybe I'm just awesome company, have you ever thought of that. I don't have to sleep with people to make them like me, unlike you" I told her calmly. I heard oohs and a 'good one' from inside the kitchen and I smiled to myself.

I was letting her get me too worked up, I had to be the rational one here, I was an adult, and after all I was doing nothing wrong.

I thought about what she had said and I wondered how he looked at me, and was thankful that someone else had notice those little touches that he pretended where innocent. Maybe there is hope yet. "You are a crazy bitch" she said very coldly. " No one likes you. Please your last boyfriend left you for Millicent Bullstrode, I think that explains exactly what kind of person you are."

What a bitch. Her words had cut me deep that time. Even though I was completely over the actual fact that Blaise had left me for Millicent, I still worried about what him doing that made others think about me. Plus I knew a lot of people really didn't like me and did think I was crazy, so what she said might have been true and that's why it got to me.

Still, I could understand why she would be angry with me. If I thought some girl was sleeping with my boyfriend I wouldn't be pleased either. Hell I almost shanked Bullstrode.

I was getting ready to defend myself when Sirius cut in with a silencing charm. "Silencio!" Sirius yelled as a shot of blue light sprung from his wand. Grace was quieted by the curse and and Sirius began to tell her off.

"How fucking dare you say that to her" he growled, getting right up in her face. She honestly looked frightened, I probably would have been too. "You are an ugly whore and I don't want to see you ever again! you are clingy, annoying bitch and you need to just get the fuck out." Sirius finished as he physically grabbed her and threw the door open and shoved her inside so she could gather her things. I could tell how pissed she was and she was trying desperately to break the charm, so she could put her two cents in.

Once she had grabbed her wand and purse she performed a counter curse and was able to speak again.

"Fine, fine I'll go but you'll be sorry, Watch your back bitch" She yelled at Sirius and me, before apparating.

* * *

After she had left, Sirius and I were still standing outside. I looked at him awkwardly and then threw up my hands. "Well, you ruined my relationship, I ruined yours; I guess we're even."

"I am sorry, though" I said, even though I wasn't quite sure what I was apologizing for. It did seem like I was partly to blame for this break up even though I was rather happy for the outcome.

"Don't apologize" he said. "She was horrible to you and I should have left her a long time ago, I shouldn't have led her on."

He was right, she had been horrible towards me and he had wanted to break up with her quite some time ago. If he would have just done it this horrible night would have never happened.

"I wonder what made her think I was sleeping with you." I asked him. I didn't think our relationship gave off that vibe at all; purely platonic to everyone outside of my own brain.

He looked at me hard with his steely grey eyes and said

"Because I'm in love with you, and every bloody person in this house knows it but you."

**Ahhhh! He finally said it! I know it was the moment you had all been waiting for. I wonder how she'll respond? **


	19. Fire: Burn, Smolder, Melt

**I hope you enjoyed that last chapter; it took me forever to think of how to write it so it wasn't too corny. So he confessed his love now what? P.S. JKR owns the entire world of Harry Potter. **

**Fire: Burn, Smolder, Melt**

Sirius: "Because I'm in love with you, and every bloody person in this house knows it but you."

Skee-ert! (That was the sound of the record in my head screeching to a halt) What! Did he just say what I think he did? He did, I think he did.

I looked up at him in disbelief; he couldn't love me, could he? He was quickly coming towards me and had a look in his eye that can only be described as lust.

I was almost frightened, never before had I been the recipient of a look so intense. I wasn't sure what he was about to do, but I silently prayed he would do it without any hesitation.

I was processing what he had just told me, not knowing how to respond to his confession, but before I could even begin to answer he closed the gap that had been between us.

I found myself being slammed up against the house, and kissed harder than I could have imagined possible.

Oh my god.

I couldn't move or even think. Stripped of my senses, I was literally in shock as he was prying open my mouth with his tongue, and his hands were roaming over my body.

Then it hit me… Sirius Black was kissing me. This is what I had wanted for so long and it was finally happening, and what was I doing? Just standing there. Okay, this was not an acceptable course of action. So after what seemed like hours I was finally able to get a hold of my self and move my mouth with his.

He became much more intense, if that was even possible, when he found that I was kissing him back. His kisses were rough and desperate, our tongues fighting for dominance. His body was pressed hard up against mine with one hand tangled up in my hair and the other grabbing my ass. 'He always was an ass man' I thought as I smiled into his mouth.

My right hand clawed at the back of his neck pulling his mouth closer to mine, I couldn't get him close enough, and the other was at his chest grasping desperately at his shirt. I had no idea my heart could even pound as half as hard as it was, I was honestly surprised I hadn't gone into cardiac arrest.

I could feel his excitement as he began to moan my name and started moving his lips down to my neck. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this." He said is a husky voice placing little kisses on my throat and décolleté.

He was right, I really didn't have any idea how long he had wanted this, but I bet my longing period beat his.

I was pinned against the warm bricks of the house and was panting in time with him. I was intoxicated by the taste of him, the smell of him.

It was a moment of rapture and I'm pretty sure that in that moment I would have let him do anything he wanted to with me, but then I heard a noise.

Those assholes were still watching from the kitchen!

"Stop, Sirius, stop." I told him breathlessly, as he continued to kiss and lightly suck my neck. I whimpered at the sensation; I could have let him go on forever. But then I heard the whispers from inside once again.

"Everybody is watching from the kitchen." I pleaded with him, but he didn't quit.

"I don't give a damn" he said into my neck as he continued pressing his warm lips on me, moving up and placing teasing little kisses along my jaw, his hand now snaking its way up my shirt.

"I do." I whispered and gently pushed him away. He kissed my swollen lips one last time, before reluctantly pulling away but still looking at me hungrily.

He turned to the family inside the kitchen. "I hoped you all enjoyed the bloody show!" he yelled banging on the window.

"We did!" yelled Ron. Everyone laughed including Sirius and I.

He still had me pushed up against the house, and the heat between us was almost unbearable. I wanted nothing more than him to run his fingers all over my skin. I felt a fire that no other man had been able to ignite in me before, it was wonderful burning.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked me, his mouth centimeters from my own.

"Sure." I told him. I did want to go somewhere with him, but I was nervous, things were a little more heated than I had expected for a first kiss and I didn't know what he had in mind.

I ran into the kitchen to tell everyone goodbye, with a huge and embarrassing smile on my face. It didn't help that everyone else was wearing the exact same smile.

"Wait till I tell Jen!" Ginny said excitedly. I told you news spread fast around here.

So Sirius and I left the party and we just started walking aimlessly around the foggy London Streets. He had his arm thrown over my shoulders in a slightly possessive manner but surprisingly I liked it; it made me feel wanted and safe.

"You know I've been in love with you since you threw that bloody shampoo bottle at my head." He told me laughing slightly.

'Oh, my God, My dreams have come true' I thought to myself. Still I wasn't going to let him know that, at least not for a while. I had to play it safe with this one. I was not going to let myself be hurt again.

"Sometimes I hated seeing you because I knew I could never be with you for real, and I was doomed to watch you with Zabini for all of eternity" he continued.

"Do you know how horrible it is to have to watch someone you're absolutely smitten with shagging someone you hate, all the bloody time? It's taxing."

"Yes actually, I do know what that feels like, perhaps the name Grace rings a bell?" I asked him. I knew the feeling quite well actually, it was the worst feeling in the world.

"So that was what our fight was about then? You finding me with Grace? I knew it wasn't you're sodding period." He said in a moment of clarity. I was uprised he hadn't realized it before now.

"Of course that's what it was about, I went to you house to tell you how I felt and I found you romping around in the nude, with some other chick." I admitted to him finally after 4 months. The memory still made me cringe.

"I'm sorry about that, I always wanted you." He looked at me sincerely before dragging me into an alley and pushing me up against another wall. He pressed his lips to mine with the same ferocity as before. His tongue flickering in and out of my mouth, and my head was swimming from the taste of him.

If I left this night with my panties on it was going to be a miracle.

He only stopped when some lady walking her dog made a comment to her friend about how distasteful PDA was.

We both laughed at her, but I was a little embarrassed. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked, once we started walking again and found ourselves in Covent Garden.

"Well, half the time I was dead and I didn't think there was a point seeing as nothing could ever happen, and besides you were with Zabini." He explained.

"And after you were alive?" I asked cautiously.

"I don't know darling…you never seemed that interested. I figured you thought I was just some smarmy old man." He answered. How could he not see that I was crazy about him? Oh, the perils of misconstrued feelings.

"Of course I thought you were a smarmy old man, but why would that make you think I didn't want to be with you?" I asked him sincerely.

He just laughed. "I did try at the Christmas Ball, but you were much too busy making Blaise jealous or flirting with Robert to start something with me." He said.

So he had felt something that night after all, I should have just told him then and saved myself a lot of miserable months.

"You were wrong, the Christmas Ball was the first time I admitted to myself that I felt something for you." I said to him, remembering the fire he had caused in my blood.

"What? Well, I wish you would have said something then, it would have saved me a lot of time trying to find women to make you jealous with." He said as he sat down on a bench and pulled me onto his lap.

"Jealous? So that's what you were doing with all those girls? Well, you're plan worked I was jealous, but I also figured if you wanted to be with me you would have said something, you're supposed to be so blunt" I reminded him.

"I'll make up for it" he said with a half smile before brushing across my lips with his own. Damn, why does this have to feel so perfect? My heart began to race and I had hippogriffs in my stomach again, I was beginning to love that feeling, he was the only one who ever gave them to me.

My mind had begun to wander, and I found myself fantasizing about all the naughty things that Sirius would do to me that Blaise wouldn't.

No, No, No. I told myself. I was not going to sleep with him the second he professed his love for me, no matter how tempting, and believe me it was tempting.

He would want it more if I made him wait anyway. I couldn't help it, he said it himself, I was a tease; he knew what he was getting into.

"Sirius, don't" I said in a hushed and non convincing way as his hand was slowly making its way back up my shirt.

Each little touch set my skin ablaze and I was desperate to have him continue; I wanted more and more. I could feel a bulge fighting its way through his jeans as I ran my hand through his hair and dug my nails into the back of his neck.

His breath was shallow and ragged against my collarbone, and I could almost hear his heart pounding, but my rational side took over just in time.

"Sirius, no. we have to stop." I said and pulled myself off him, albeit reluctantly. Bur, he was not so willing to let me get away.

"We don't have to stop." He said to me pleadingly, in a very deep voice, as he tried to pull me back onto him.

"Sirius! Stop!" I yelled at him though I was laughing, he looked so desperate and pathetic.

"You remember when I called you a tease? I was right." He told me, practically pouting as he inhaled deeply and put his head back and rested it on the bench.

I smiled "You're, such a baby. I think you will live if I don't do you right now." I said as I patted him on the back. 'I might not though' I thought silently.

"I won't." he said "I'll die for sure, and you'll have that on your conscious." He said tapping against my temple. I rolled my eyes at him.

I highly doubted it. He had gone twelve years in Azkaban with no sex; I think he could handle a little longer.

"Come on, I better go home" I said as I pulled him up off the bench. If I didn't go home then I couldn't trust myself to keep turning him down, he was quite convincing when he wanted to be.

We apparated back to my house and stopped as I came to the front stoop. He looked beautiful in a very masculine way standing under the porch light.

"I would invite you in, but I wouldn't want you to try to take advantage of me." I smiled at him. Oh, but I did want him to take advantage of me. I really, really wanted it.

"I would, it's probably best that I stay outside." He replied with a shrug. He bent down to kiss me goodnight.

It was much softer than the ones before, although there was still a lot of emotion behind it. That kiss made me feel different, the others were amazing and fiery and passionate, but something about the gentleness in that one made me melt instead of smolder.

I cut it short so as not to repeat the scene in the park. "Goodnight Sirius." I said as I stepped away from him and went to unlock the door.

"I'm having sex with you tomorrow." He said bluntly.

He was a persistent bastard, not that I really needed much coaxing. Still I was not going to give in that easily. "No, you're not" I said smiling as I entered my house and shut the door; leaving him standing there very frustrated.

I couldn't believe what had just happened I thought as I flung myself down on my bed. Sirius Black had just admitted that he was in love with me. We kissed, we kissed a lot; he tried to get into my pants! I was giddy with excitement and my head was spinning 'Finally' I said to myself. I fell asleep completely happy for the first time in years, and had a pleasant sleep with many naughty dreams.

**Yay! they finally kissed! I couldn't torture you any longer. Please review and tell me what you think. **


	20. Punch Drunk Love

**I'm so happy everyone liked the last chapter, I worked hard on it. And don't worry, you know how I love to torture Sirius; he's going to have to work to get her into bed. So this is a chapter about their first official date, WARNING: lot's of cursing in this one. Oh, and I still own nothing Potter related. **

**Punch. Drunk. Love.**

A week after we had officially gotten together, Sirius and I were sitting on his sofa, his arm draped around my shoulder, contemplating how to spend the evening. "Darling I have the best idea!" he exclaimed after a moment, I could only imagine what it could be.

"You could take off all your cloth.."

"No, that is not a good idea at all." I shot it down before he could even finish his sentence. I still refused to sleep with him, it was killing me but I knew it was worse for him. I really didn't want to rush into anything.

"You didn't even let me finish!" he said offended. I laughed at his slightly pouting face. "I know exactly what you had in mind, and I still say no." I told him smiling evilly. Who knew torture could be so entertaining.

He had tried many different tactics for getting me into bed that week; all had failed miserably but were incredibly amusing to watch.

He had tried begging, pleading, seducing me with flowers and chocolate, getting me drunk and even slyly attempting to remove my clothing, or sliding his hand somewhere it shouldn't be when he thought I was too caught up in the moment to stop him. Somehow, although he used very clever tactics I was able to refuse him time and time again.

He glared at me and sighed in anger. "You know Darling, we never figured out how I came back from behind the veil" he said "what if I just pop right back there tomorrow never to be seen again and you had the chance to give me a happy life and you refused? Wouldn't you feel terrible if that happened, I think you would."

He was pulling out the big guns was he? He knew I could be guilted into almost anything; it was the Catholic in me. Well unfortunately for him I know when I am being manipulated and there is no way Sirius Black was going to manipulate me into sleeping with him, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Are you sure the sorting hat didn't try to put you in Slytherin?" I shot at him "because I know no Gryffindor would ever resort to guilt trips to get a girl in bed with him."

He grabbed at his heart and feigned like I had shot him with an arrow. "That was a low blow darling, suggesting I, Sirius Black am acting like a Slytherin."

"Well you are, at this rate I'll never sleep with you" I said and he looked truly horrified.

"It's you're fault" he told me "I'm getting so desperate I'm resorting to Slytherin methods" He pulled me closer to him "But I can't help it I need you" He said as he buried his face in my hair "my hands staring to get sore from all the wanking."

"ew, Sirius!" I laughed and slapped him on the arm playfully "I could have lived my life without knowing that" Something's a girl just doesn't need to hear about, although I wondered if he was thinking about me while he did it? Ew no, Colleen do not think about that.

"It's true, look" and he showed me his right hand, it looked perfectly normal to me.

"But darling wanking is just not getting the job done, I mean imagining you doing it and you actually doing it are two very different things." He stated; I guess my question about whether he thought of me while doing it or not was answered. I reveled slightly in the fact that he did.

"Sorry Sirius, it just isn't the right time, and besides I have to make sure you really want this and aren't just going to kick me to the curb once you've had your way with me." I explained to him my reasoning.

He looked at me slightly taken aback "Colleen. Why would you even think that, you know I wouldn't do that to you." He told me in a heated voice. But how could I be sure he wouldn't other people had promised me the same thing and look what happened one's dead and one's sleeping with Millicent Bulstrode.

I just shook my head in agreement I really didn't want to fight about this or bring up any emotions that I had so carefully hidden away. I think he could tell I was done talking about this issue and he was not going to win.

"Well bloody fine then, no sex…yet" he agreed however unpleased he was with the situation. "But I feel like I should at least take you out on a real date."

"We have been on dates, we go somewhere everyday." I answered him slightly confused. We had spent every day together and we always went somewhere, if those weren't dates I had never been on one.

"No I mean like a real date, one where you get dressed up and I spend ridiculous amounts of money on you" He told me as if I was clueless. That did not sound too bad at all; I was all for people spending ridiculous amounts of money on me.

"Okay, when?" I asked him. "Tonight" he replied firmly and I figured nothing was going to change his mind. Tonight? It would take me at least two hours to get ready and it was already 6pm. "Sirius…I'm not ready tonight" I whined at him.

"Go home and get ready then, I'll pick you up at 8:00" He said as he pulled me up off the couch and drug me to the fireplace. He kissed me quickly before shoving me in. I was going to protest but he had already thrown the powder and said Colleen's House before I could get a word in.

* * *

He came to get me at 8 sharp just as he promised. I was still in my bathrobe as I didn't know if we were going muggle or magical.

It took everything I had not to rip off his clothes and beg him to take me now when I saw him.

He was dressed in very elegant if not a bit over the top dark red dress robes; he had a rock star thing about him which I dug. And although his hair was fixed he hadn't shaved. I liked it better when he didn't, perfectly polished did not suit his personality at all. And I secretly liked the way the way the stubble burnt my skin when he kissed me. The feeling still lingered after the kiss was over, so I knew that it was real.

"Why aren't you dressed?" he asked me "I'm hoping it's because were going to bed and you felt like clothes would just get in the way" he suggested hopefully. I grinned mischievously at him, only to shoot his fantasies down.

"Nope, I just didn't know whether to wear robes or a dress, but now I do" I said pointing to his robes and turning back upstairs to put on the robes I had picked out. They made of dark purple chiffon with a very low neckline. I hoped it would tease him enough, I suspected it would.

I came back down the stairs to find him lounging on the sofa having a cigarette. When he looked up at me his mouth dropped open slightly and I couldn't help but smile. It was the exact look I had in mind when I had picked the robes out.

"You're killing me darling" he groaned as he stood up to kiss me. "You are actively trying to murder me."

"I do what I can" I said sarcastically and shrugging at him. Sirius wrapped his arms around me and shook his head in disapproval before planting his lips on mine.

I kept the kiss short and sweet, wouldn't want him getting too excited now would we?

When we broke apart I asked him "So, where are you taking me?"

"Upstairs" he let out a bark like laugh and picking me up bridal style made his way for the steps. I was fighting him but laughing as well. It wasn't really that funny but his laugh was contagious and he was so amused with himself. Plus, I think I was still giddy from just being with him.

"Sirius! Put me down!" I yelled at him and he did although he was still laughing his ass off.

"Once again, I think Americans are pussies if their terrified of you. If I had really cared nothing about your wishes I could have had you up there in a minute." He stated.

"And if I cared nothing about your wishes I could have hexed your penis off. Come on Black, it's not like I was scared for my life. I am a scary bitch when I want to be.

"I'm sure you are darling" He said condescendingly and patting me on the top of my head.

"Bastard" I glared at him but he just laughed. "Where are you really taking me?"

"I am taking you to the opening of some restaurant in Diagon Alley. It's supposed to be some big thing, that's what the prophet says anyway. He told me grabbing the Daily Prophet that was sitting on my coffee table and showing me the advertisement.

It really was supposed to be a big thing. "Did you make reservations, cause I don't think we'll get in if you didn't?" I asked slightly concerned. He didn't answer so I looked over at him.

"Sirius! Quit looking at my tits and answer the damn question!"

His eyes jerked up from where they had been steadily gazing at my chest. "Heh, sorry darling… but yes I let them know we were coming and they made room for us. Apparently we're very important people, good for business you know." He answered.

"Well, lets not keep them waiting then" I said and he took my arm and we apparated to Diagon Alley.

The alley was packed with people and Sirius grabbed my hand as we navigated through the crowd. I saw the sign for the restaurant "Ignite" it was certainly ignited, there were torches all over the damn place. I hoped the restaurant didn't actually ignite while we were inside.

There was a huge crowd, composed mostly of rich or well known witches and wizards, but there was also a line of younger people that looked like they went to Hogwarts forming outside the door.

Sirius led me to the front of the line where the kids started heckling us for cutting. I gave them an icy glare and they shut up immediately, looking seriously worried. At least being known for murdering people did have its benefits.

"Black" Sirius told the young witch who was allowing people in, or turning them away. She smiled at him seductively, was she trying to hit on my man? I now know how Bella felt when she went to that restaurant with Edward Cullen.

"Of course Mr. Black we've been expecting you" she said to him as she ushered us inside and looked at me with slight disdain. "Did you see that?" I asked him when the woman was safely back at her post.

"See what?" Sirius asked back. Was he that oblivious or was he just trying to be nice?

"That bitch was hitting on you and just gave me the evil eye" I explained to him exasperatedly. "Oh that, well I am a highly sought after man, darling women just fall at my feet" he said arrogantly. I scrunched my eyebrows and looked at him incredulously. Then I realized.

" How much did you give her Sirius?" I asked him smirking. He looked at me attempting to seem innocent so there was practically the word 'Guilty' written across his forehead.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said looking me right in the eye but smiling. "I'm sure" I replied not convinced.

"We have your table ready, Mr. Black, Ms McAvoy" one of the waiters came up and escorted us to our table. I was looking around the restaurant it was beautifully but simply decorated.

There were candles floating everywhere, adding to my worry about the place burning down, but they did add ambiance. All the linen was red or orange and the plates and silverware were solid gold. 'It must have cost a small fortune just to decorate this place' I thought to myself.

As I was admiring the scenery my eyes fell upon Blaise Zabini dressed in plain black dress robes and looking slightly melancholy. I was suprised to see him as I had not since the Christmas Ball. I noticed he was not with Millicent Bulstrode but a short blonde girl that looked strangely similar to me.

Blaise's eyes locked with mine for a moment and he gave me a genuine smile and I gave him a small wave. Sirius, noticing who I was looking at as we walked wrapped his arm around me and gave Blaise a "don't even think about it" stare and Blaise returned with a look that I took as "what are you going to do about it"

I rolled my eyes at both of them. Honestly they were two grown men acting like a pack of wild hyenas marking their territory. At least Sirius hadn't tried to pee on me, though he had tried to hump me if that counts for anything.

We were seated at a private table behind a sheer orange curtain and given menus and an alcohol list. "I want Champagne" I told Sirius after he had asked me what wanted to drink. "A bottle of the best Champagne you have and a glass of Maeve's Firewhiskey." Sirius told the waiter when he came back to the table.

"Are you insane!" I whispered to him after the waiter left. "Maeve's firewhiskey alone is gonna run you 100 galleons."

Sirius just shrugged. I often forgot he had grown up wealthy and spending money was of no great consequence to him. But I almost had an aneurysm when I heard him place the order.

"I told you it's not a real date unless I spend ridiculous amounts of money on you. And besides I bet Zabini ordered nothing but the best."

"Oh my god Sirius, are you jealous of Blaise?" I asked quite amused. He honestly had nothing to be jealous about. "I'm not jealous of that piece of shit." He said defensively "I just...well...alright so I am, but only because he's shagged you and I haven't"

I realized at that moment just how much denying Sirius was really affecting him. The poor bastard, he must really be thinking about it a lot. I smiled at Sirius "poor baby" I teased "It's not like you weren't in the room half the time anyway, and I know you've seen me naked more than he has." I tried to comfort him a little.

"It's not the same thing" he said sadly. I laughed at him "You're so pathetic, I swear you can live through a war, Azkaban, and death but you can't spend a few months celibate."

"Months!" He cried out, but he was cut off by the waiter bringing our drinks. "You better bring a couple more of these mate" he told the man as he shook his glass of firewhiskey. I rolled my eyes and ordered my food.

* * *

Our food came and we continued to drink for the next two hours. I thought for sure I would have to carry Sirius out of there. He had 4 glasses of Maeve's, and not only was that shit expensive it was strong.

Not that I wasn't a little tipsy, I did finish the bottle of champagne, but I was the most sober out of the two of us. " I have to pee darling" Sirius told me standing up, he wobbled a little and I thought he might fall over but he composed himself and walked towards the men's room.

Just as I saw Sirius go through the door I looked over and Blaise was sliding his way into Sirius' chair. "Blaise what are you doing? I asked him genuinely confused. What could this man possibly want with me?

"I just wanted to say hello, Is that so wrong?' he replied in a silky voice. "I guess not' I replied to him suspiciously.

"I heard you got together with the old man." Blaise said referencing Sirius.

He was not an old man! "Sirius is only 6 years older than you Blaise"

"Please Colleen, he was born in 1959. I think that makes him more than 6 years older than me, but I didn't come over here to fight, I wanted to tell you something"

Oh, here we go. I can only imagine what he has to say, probably announcing his engagement to Millicent Bulstrode.

"Colleen I made a mistake, I realize that now, I'm so sorry I always wanted you. I never liked Millie I just had commitment phobia. I know we can make this work if you just forgive me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

What the fuck? My life was insane. Just when I finally get Sirius, my ex boyfriend comes crawling back to me practically proposing. Does this happen to most people? I think not.

"Blaise, I'm sorry but you cheated on me, you left me for Bulstrode and I'm with Sirius now" I explained carefully. He looked seriously angry but composed himself quickly.

"Baby, baby I know I hurt you but I'll make up for it, I promise. I know you still love me. I know you still want me as bad as I want you." Blaise said in a tone that reminded me of an abusive husband begging for his wife to forgive him. Um, I was pretty sure I did not want him. Where the hell was Black? I needed to escape.

"I don't want you anymore, I was never in love with you; I just thought I was. I'm sorry Blaise, you should probably go" I told him.

A fire flashed behind his eyes. "You fucking slut!" he yelled and I'm pretty sure the entire restaurant heard and was now looking in our direction. "You are such a whore! I can't believe you're going to pick Sirius fucking Black over me!"

I was pissed, who the hell did he think he was talking to? Still I didn't want to cause too much of a scene in this lovely and classy restaurant.

"Blaise, have you lost your damn mind? We are in the middle of a restaurant!" I told him in a harsh tone.

"You think I give a damn who hears this. I should warn everyone what a slutty little cunt you are!"

With that I threw the remaining of Sirius' firewhiskey in Blaise's face. If he thought he was going to talk to me like that he was dead wrong.

The wait staff and the manager were making their way over to my table and I'm sure they were going to ask us to leave.

Blaise was still for a second in what I assumed to be shock, before wiping the whiskey from his eyes and then standing up. " You are going to be sorry for that" he whispered murderously and grabbed my arm pulling me out of my chair.

What the hell was he gonna do, duel me in front of everyone? Well actually that is exactly what he was going to do. 'Son of a bitch' I thought 'and here I had all these people thinking I was a model citizen'. I was reaching for my wand and preparing to do battle when a bunch of things happened very fast.

First a fist came down hard on Blaise's jaw and he hit the floor. I looked over to see whose fist it was and was surprised to find Sirius. I hadn't even seen him come back from the bathroom.

"If you ever say anything to disrespect her like that again I'll kill you. If you ever come near her again I'll kill you, if you ever even look at her again I'll kill you, understand? " Sirius said viciously to Blaise who was still on the floor. Blaise looked up at him and but refused to answer.

Sirius kicked him hard in the stomach and Blaise let out a groan and doubled over. "I said do you understand!" Sirius yelled.

"yeah, fine" Blaise replied in a strained voice.

"Good, Let's go darling" Sirius spoke as he threw down 800 Galleons on the table. The restaurant was silent as we exited, but everyone was staring.

As soon as we were alone outside Sirius grabbed my shoulders, turning me to face him. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I was a little shocked at he incident that had just occurred, Blaise had always been pretty nice to me. But all the hurtful things that Blaise said were dwarfed by the fact that Sirius had come to my defense. No one had ever really defended me before; it was always just me against the world, me as the defender.

I liked it, I knew that I could have handled the situation on my own just fine, but it was nice for once to have someone care enough to take care of it for me.

"I'm fine Sirius. Thank you for kicking his ass." I said kissing him.

"Well, I certainly wasn't going to let him talk to you like that. What the hell happened while I was in the lou?" Sirius asked when I pulled away.

"I don't know, he just sat down and told me he wanted me back, that he loved me and he had made a mistake…" "Bullshit!" Sirius interrupted. "I really am going to kill him if I ever see him again"

"I told him I didn't love him, and that I was with you but when I did he started calling me a slut and everything else imaginable." I cringed at the memory.

"He's a bastard, I of all people know how non slutty you are." Sirius winked at me trying to lighten the mood. I smiled at him.

"How's your hand?" I asked him. I knew it had to smart, he hit Blaise really hard.

"Oh, it's…broken, yeah I'm pretty sure it's broken" he told me laughing and inspecting his swollen hand.

"Sirius! I can't believe you broke your hand on someone's face." I told him. "wait till I tell Jen."

"She'll be glad, she never liked Blaise" he said "I am sorry though, getting wasted and into a fight with your ex boyfriend wasn't exactly how I saw the night going."

"Actually this was the best first date I ever had, certainly the most exciting. I will remember it forever. Besides the part where you defended my honor was pretty romantic" I assured him.

"Then it was worth the pain" he told me "Are you ready to go home? The liquor is wearing off and my hand is starting to hurt"

"Sure, I'll fixit when we get there" I answered and we apparated back to my house. I unlocked the door and had him sit down on the sofa while I fixed his broken bones.

After I was done he stretched out on the sofa and I crawled on top of him laying my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

"Scratch my back Sirius" I instructed him. I had made him do this everyday since we had gotten together. I loved having my back scratched and none of my other boyfriends ever did it right. I wondered if he just complied because he wanted to get laid or if he liked doing it.

He was running his fingers up and down my back and drawing pictures on my skin. I was slightly drunk and very calm ergo sleepy. While I was drifting off he was still rubbing my back and I heard "I love you crazy girl."

**Sirius is a badass right? I hope I didn't make Colleen seem too much like the defenseless female in this. She was going to take Blaise out, Sirius just got there first. Also I have been leaving little hints about a relationship Colleen had prior to Blaise in a couple of the chapters, including this one. This relationship will be important. **

**Remember reviews make me happy. **


	21. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Hey Guys! Sorry for the lack of updates I just moved into a new apt and I had company over the weekend; I have been a busy girl. So thank you to all of my awesome reviewers it gives me inspiration and I really appreciate it and of course you know all I own are my oc's. **

**Be Careful What You Wish For**

Ginny and I were sitting in my living room drinking tea the day after Sirius had gotten into the fight with Blaise. "You seem awfully chipper today Colleen" Ginny said in a sly voice . "You had sex, didn't you? You finally gave in!"

Ginny always had her mind in the gutter, but I suppose I was in an awfully good mood, I couldn't help it, I was actually happy with my life for once. "No, I didn't" I told her laughing. She looked disappointed.

"So why the good mood?" she asked me.

"Ginny you are so nosy." I told her playfully "Haven't you read the Daily Prophet today?

To my horror the fight had made the front page. Although I think Ignite actually liked all the publicity, because I had gotten an owl from them that morning inviting me back whenever I wanted.

"No" She said slightly confused and grabbing the paper off the coffee table.

She scanned over the story for a moment before exclaiming "I can't believe you didn't tell me about this the moment I got here! What the hell happened?"

I laughed at her, "Ginny it wasn't that big of a deal, it must have just been a slow news day. Blaise just came up to the table while Sirius was in the bathroom and told me he wanted me back, and when I refused him he started accosting me. Sirius came back and beat the shit out of him. It was kind of sweet really." I recapped the night's events for her.

"Well it might have been sweet but they're making you out to be a whore and Sirius to be severely unhinged." She informed me like I hadn't already read it.

"Yeah, but no one ever believes that about him, and they also wrote the Blaise had anger management issues and is basically an asshole, so I'm cool with it." I said shrugging off the insult, whore was not the worst thing I had been called.

"But they alluded to you being loose." She said confused by my lack of feeling on the situation.

"Eh, oh well everyone I care about knows it's not true so what can you do?" I replied.

"Well, that's true, Sirius certainly lets us all know how non whorish you are. I wish you would just let him have it, he's getting so annoying always whining about having blue balls." She admitted to me.

"That is so embarrassing" I told her burying my face in my hands. Sirius had such a big fucking mouth. I should have known he would be over there complaining to them about his lack of sex.

"He keeps trying to make me talk you into sleeping with him, like I would be able to if he couldn't, he is getting rather desperate, keeps bribing me with pickles." She said casually.

"Pickles? Do you really like pickles or something" I asked her, scrunching my eyebrows, it seemed like a strange bribe but then Sirius could be a strange guy.

"Ha, not usually, but I had a particularly strong craving for them that day." She informed me.

"Oh, preggers" I kidded her.

"Well, anyways I'm in the same boat with Sirius." Ginny told me. "The healer told me no sex since I'm so close to my due date." She said rubbing her huge tummy absentmindedly. "I haven't had sex in a month, I'm about to die" She whined.

"I'll tell you what I tell Sirius… You'll live." I said giggling at her.

Ginny looked like she was ready to pop and I was ready for her to pop too. She had asked me a few days before if Sirius and I would be Godparents to this baby. Needless to say we agreed right away. I was terribly excited; it was my lifelong dream to be a godmother.

"And it's only 3 more weeks Ginny and personally I can't wait. I wish it would just happen right now." I told her, and at that moment there was a loud clap of thunder. 'That was strange' I thought to myself, it was still sunny out.

Ginny cried out and grabbed her belly and a splash hit the floor.

"Oh god the baby's coming." Ginny said to me frantically.

"Shit" I had just remembered what happened the last time I heard that thunder, my wish came true. Sirius had come back to life, and now it looked like Ginny was going into labor. I really had to get control of this power and figure out how the hell it worked.

"Okay, Okay…let's get you to Saint Mungo's." I said trying to keep as calm as possible. But I was struggling three weeks was too early for my taste.

"Ginny, are you okay?" I asked her as she was breathing heavily from the pain. I was worried, babies always freaked me out, but she shook her head letting me know she was alright.

'Jesus, let her be okay' I thought silently. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to her or the baby.

I grabbed her and got us into the fireplace where I flooed to Saint Mungo's. We entered the emergency room and I guess we both looked so frazzled that two mediwitches immediately came out and got her into a room.

They gave her a potion to try to stop the labor and another to calm her down. Hell, I think I needed one just as badly as she did, but the healers weren't so generous with me.

"Has the father been notified?" one of the healers asked me as Ginny was sleeping from the calming potion.

"Shit, Harry!" I exclaimed. I had been so worked up I forgot to tell Harry. I couldn't leave Ginny all alone so I decided to use my patronus to contact him. He had never seen it but I hoped he would recognize my voice.

I thought of the happiest memory I had ,which when Sirius had first kissed me and told me he was in love with me and a big furry dog emerged from the end of my wand.

It wasn't Sirius' animagus as I thought it might be, but the same as it always was. Monster came out of my wand, she had been the most protective and most loyal of all my pets, but she had been murdered with the rest of my family.

I sent Harry the message that Ginny was in labor and now all I had to do was wait for him to get there. Within 5 minutes Harry, along with Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Arthur and Molly all showed up in the room. I quickly moved from Ginny's side to give the others room to see her.

Sirius stood behind the others and pulled me to him. "Are you alright darling?" he asked me concerned.

"No" I replied "this is all my fault, I wished that the baby would come now and there was that clap of thunder and then her water broke."

"How could you know what was going to happen? It's not your fault." He assured me but I was not convinced.

All the others were too intent on Ginny who had woken up and was weak, but talking, to notice mine and Sirius' conversation. Just then a healer came in and ushered everyone but Harry and Molly out of the room.

The rest of us went to go sit in the waiting room while they were conducting tests on Ginny. "Whose watching Al and James?" I asked Hermione. "Hmm…oh Teddy is babysitting them." She replied distractedly.

I was so worried but I was talking myself down, a survival technique I had picked up when a shit ton of people were trying to murder me. ' Colleen, get a hold of yourself. Its 2011, no one in London dies from giving birth anymore, especially in the wizarding world. She'll be fine and the baby will be fine.' I told myself over and over.

Sirius must have noticed how stressed out I was because he suggested we take a walk.

"She's going to be alright, You shouldn't worry so much." He said attempting to comfort me as we walked through a half empty wing of the hospital.

"We don't know that Sirius, we don't know what I did to her to make her go into labor." I said wringing my hands.

"If Ginny or the baby dies I'll kill myself. I can't live with the guilt of knowing I killed another one of my best friends, and this time so directly. I was at fault for the death of my family and friends but I didn't actively play a role in their murders. If something happened to Ginny it would be my doing."

"Colleen stop!" Sirius yelled. "You're being ridiculous. It's not your fault that your family was murdered and Ginny is going to be okay, she's three weeks early that's nothing. Calm the bloody hell down."

"Sirius you don't understand…." But I was cut off by his mouth coming down hard on mine. He pulled me closer to him and a tingling sensation glided up my body, making me feel warm at my core. Our lips were moving in sync, his tongue flicking against my own and then running across my bottom lip.

His stubble was rubbing against the delicate skin on my face making it burn slightly and I could taste the cigarettes on his breath. There was something about him so delicious and so masculine that I almost forgot my guilt and was practically melting in his arms as he ended the kiss. He still lingered lightly so his lips were barely touching mine and said "Do you feel better now?"

"A little bit" I admitted. It didn't seem right that a kiss could make my world seem so much better, but then I guess it all depends on who is doing the kissing.

Ron found us a moment later in the empty corridor "She had the baby! It's a Girl! Ginny's doing fine, come see."

"What!" I yelled as we all went running back to the delivery room. "We just got here three hours ago!"

I entered the room to see everyone hovering around Ginny and the beautiful little baby girl. "Hand over the baby Potter" I told Harry, I was the Godmother after all I should hold my Godchild. Harry laughed and handed her over to me.

" We've named her Lily Luna Potter" He told me and Sirius.

"She's gorgeous Harry" I told him and she was, usually I think newborn babies are kind of yucky looking, all red and wrinkly, but Lilly was beautiful. She had fair skin and her mothers bright red hair, with a tiny little button nose and tiny little fingers that were wrapped around mine.

"Your Mum would be honored, that you would name you daughter after her Harry" Sirius said to him as he looked down at the baby in my arms. He looked sad for a moment but it quickly passed. I assumed he was thinking about when Harry was born and the loss of his two friends soon after.

"Thanks Sirius" Harry replied.

"Okay hand back over the baby Colleen" Ginny instructed me and I did as she requested. "I want to thank you, she would have died without you today" She told me quietly.

"Ginny what are you talking about? It's my fault you went into labor so early, she could have died just from that." I said ashamed of myself.

"No, Colleen the cord was wrapped around her neck, the healers told me she would have suffocated if I would have gone full term. You wishing for her to be born today saved her life, I owe you my own for it."

I got goose bumps as she told me this. So I wasn't hurting them after all, that was the biggest relief of my life. Everyone was safe and healthy I couldn't ask for more.

"Two lives and counting then darling" Sirius said to me as he kissed the top of my head.

"What do you mean?" I asked him confused.

"Your wishes, they gave both of us a life that was by all counts lost. That is a bloody useful talent, even if it doesn't work when you ask for millions of dollars."

It was a bloody useful talent, and it finally dawned on me why I was so important to Bolvechek. I could bring people back from the brink of death just by wishing for it. That would have been a great asset during a war when people are being slaughtered by the dozens no?

**Okay so this chapter was a little dramatic but I did throw in a kiss for good measure. Let me know what you think **


	22. America, My Home Sweet Home?

**Okay I can't make Colleen hold out on Sirius much longer, he's so convincing. But I do feel like they should develop their romantic relationship a little more before jumping into bed. So here is another chapter for you, Hope you like it. **

**America: My Home Sweet Home? **

It had been a little over a month since Sirius and I got together, and I still refused to sleep with him, or do anything that involved nakedness of any I was sick, but I liked how desperate he was getting. How every day he thought it might be the day, only to have his hopes dashed by my refusals.

"Why are you so bloody mean to me?" he whined when I once made him stop after a particularly heated make-out session.

"I am not being mean Sirius; I just don't want to rush into anything. Especially with you; do you realize how awkward it would be if this doesn't work out?"

I had been thinking about that a lot and since Blaise I had become slightly paranoid about Sirius cheating on me. If Sirius and I didn't work out I would still be forced to see him all the damn time, and I would also be loosing one of my best friends. It made me nervous to continue the relationship; maybe we should have just stayed friends. But that wouldn't have worked either; I would have just been miserable and pining over him.

"What do you mean if this doesn't work out? Why wouldn't it, I'm in love you" he stated angrily, as he threw his arm around me and pulled me in closer to him.

"You might change your mind." I reminded him. I hadn't told him I loved him back yet, although I knew I did. I think it would actually be worth the heartache of a breakup just to have been with him for the past few weeks.

Terrible things happen to the people I love and I wasn't ready to risk having my heart broken once again.

"I am not going to change my mind darling, your stuck with me whether you like it or not. Well unless you keep refusing my sexual advances, then I'm out of here" he smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Your sooo funny" I retorted.

"I don't know why you can't just go with this?" he asked seriously.

Why couldn't I just go with this? I knew exactly why. I supposed it was only fair to let Sirius in on my most guarded secret, as it heavily affected me and therefore him as well.

"I told you who sold me out to Bolvechek right? Who told him who he should kill?" I asked him.

I felt like he would understand me better if I let him in on this secret. I really didn't want anyone to know and Jen was the only one who did, but I knew I had to explain to Sirius why I was being so fucking crazy.

"Yeah, your tutor, Wuther right?" Sirius remembered and I shook my head yes.

"But, he wasn't only my tutor.." I hesitated; I had to do this, no matter how painful the memories were. Sirius looked at me slightly confused; I think he had no idea where this conversation was going.

"Wuther was the first man I ever fell in love with, he was the first man I slept with, the first man I lived with, I honestly thought I was going to marry him" I explained. There I said it was off my chest and suprisingly I felt a lot better.

Sirius started to say something but I shushed him "He betrayed me; He was working with Bolvechek the entire time, he was getting close to me so he knew how best to hurt me and then he sold me out. Unfortunately for him, I really was in love with him so Bolvechek killed him too."

That was the only good part about the whole situation, one less person to murder. I really had horrible taste in men, the present company excluded for the mean time anyway.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Sirius asked somberly. He looked upset by what he just found out, but I wasn't sure if it was because of what had happened or that I had failed to mention it to him.

"I was embarrassed Sirius, If you haven't noticed I am a terrible judge of character. If I hadn't so stupidly fallen for him, everyone would still be alive, and then after him I got fucked over by Blaise. Another betrayal, albeit one on a much smaller scale."

"But I would never do that, it's not fair to hold out on me for things they did" he reminded me in an almost pleading voice. I rolled my eyes at him. Men.

"Every boyfriend I have ever had has threw me under the bus, and I'm not going to let that happen ever again, so if you really do want this" I said motioning to him and me "then your just gonna have to work with me here ok?"

"Of course I really want this" he said heatedly. "You're the only person I can find as fucked up as I am, we work well together darling, and you insult me by suggesting I won't be loyal. My animagus is a bloody dog! How much more loyal can you get?"

He was right, Sirius Black was literally the most loyal person I knew and I felt in my heart he would never betray me. But there was still that nagging inside my head saying that you never thought the others would either.

"You still slept with Zabini after Wuther though." He told me as if I didn't already know. I knew what he meant by this, he meant if you slept with Zabini why aren't you sleeping with me?

"I didn't sleep with Blaise for 3 months Sirius, he never complained. Here I though he was being such a nice guy, when I realize now he was just fucking other people so it didn't really matter if I was putting out." I mused.

"Well that makes me feel a little better, 3 months though? I knew you didn't really like him. You couldn't wait that long if you did." Sirius said arrogantly running his fingers down my arm suggestively.

"You have no idea how long I can hold out" I reminded him smiling evilly and he looked discouraged. The thing was though, that yes I did like to see him suffer a little bit, but it was getting harder and harder to resist him. He was so fucking sexy and he wanted it so badly.

I knew I couldn't turn down those lust filled eyes much longer. His every touch and kiss and breath had my body begging for him to just take me and shag me senseless. I don't know how I had controlled myself as well as I had.

I honestly didn't want to be in control, but I was actually terrified of having sex with him. I knew that sleeping with him would mean I really loved him and that was frightening. Loving someone meant getting hurt; well it had meant that so far anyway.

I would just have to work on getting over my past traumas if I wanted this relationship to work. I decided the only way to do this was to confront them head on. Thank you Psychology degree. I was going to have to go back to the scene of the original crime. The place where my life was stolen from me forever: America, Chicago to be exact.

"I want to be with you Sirius, but before I can really do that I need to get over all this shit that's in my head. I need to go home, and I want you to go with me." I couldn't do it alone, I knew I couldn't though it was not pleasant to admit, and he really was the only person I had to comfort me.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny had their own problems and families to deal with, and Jen refused to talk about what had happened. I was the comforter in that relationship anyway, I had to be the one who held it together, and I did in front of everyone but Sirius.

I suppose it was because he was always around, and he always caught me in the most vulnerable situations that I felt like it was okay if I was a mess in front of him.

When he was still dead it was almost like having a priest with me at all times. I could confess all my deepest darkest sins and he had to keep silent about them. This made me trust him, and when he came back to life he never told anyone what I had spoken to him in confidence.

"Of course I'm going with you. You bloody well weren't going alone." He responded. "Are you ready now or do you want to go another time?" I figured it was now or never, just because I had the balls to do it this instant didn't mean I wouldn't chicken out later.

"Now, I think" I told him, and he grabbed onto my arm and we side by side apparated to what was once my house.

It was hotter in Chicago than it had been in London and both Sirius and I were sweating in our clothes, as we walked up the street to where I once lived with Wuther. It was stone 3 story home, on a quiet tree lined street in Lincoln Park.

It appeared as if someone else had moved in and so Sirius and I just stayed out on the street. "So this is where I lived with Wuther" I told Sirius darkly.

It was such a bright and cheerful home, and I was really happy there until I found out what the man who was supposed to have loved me has done. I wonder if the current owners knew the betrayal and deceit that had occurred there.

"Are you okay, Darling" Sirius asked me as he grabbed my hand. I was starting to feel worse the longer we stayed there, and he must have noticed. "Sort of" I replied.

"It's just I think about, who I was then and everything I've lost, how I've changed. I was a normal happy person and I was raped of it. It isn't fair." I explained trying not to cry as I did.

He put his arm around me "It's not fair, no one should have to go through that, but for the record, I like the person you are now" he said in a light voice.

He was sweet, and put up with a lot of my bullshit, but I couldn't help wondering what he would think of me if he had met me 3 years earlier, when I was a happy and carefree muggle. But then I remembered that three years ago he was dead, without what had happened in this house happening he would still be dead.

I would have never gone to London, and I would have never met him. I tried to look at it as things work out the way they are supposed too, even if they are horrible and you don't realize their purpose at the time.

"Let's get out of this place." I couldn't stand to be here anymore. 'I'll take you to where I grew up" I told him.

When we got there it looked like it had the last time I had been there. The house had been destroyed, it was just an empty lot now, but I could still picture it and the family that came with it.

"This was it" I told Sirius pointing to the lot that had the grass growing up in it. The tears were starting to well up in my eyes and he punched me in the arm "Buck up McAvoy" he said in a stern in deep voice making me laugh a little. Sirius was right, the past is the past no need to be so dramatic about it right?

I tried to keep up a calm façade "The house was just a 3 bedroom brick ranch, I hated it when I had to live there, it was so small for my family, but I really miss it."

"You know he even killed my dogs? Poor things, I miss them, you know snuffles looks a lot like one of them Monster, we called her." I told him as we stood on the sidewalk staring at the place I had gown up.

"I didn't know you had dogs, I didn't know you even liked them" Sirius said sounding somewhat surprised. I realized how even though he knew me the best out of all my post war friends, he still knew very little. I was terribly guarded about my past, even about little things like favorite pets. Note to Self: break down wall.

"I love em, they're my favorite animal, even my patronus" I told him. I did love dogs I just didn't have one at the moment, well besides my boyfriend. I felt like no dog could ever replace the ones I lost so I never tried.

I started crying fairly hard then. It would be the dogs that broke open the floodgates. "It will be alright, love" Sirius told me as he hugged me. "Let's get out of here" He said "You've had enough for today I think, and I know what would help…Sex."

"You never quit do you?" I asked smiling; he was distracting if not a bit annoying.

"Nope" he replied.

**I told you he was convincing, he even finds ways to work shagging into their deep conversations. Typical man right? **


	23. It's Just You And Me

**Okay I officially have the best reviewers ever! Thank you all so much:) So this is the big scene! **

**Warning: Smut filled, really the whole chapter is basically smut. So if you don't like that sort of thing skip to the very end and I'll give you a recap. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: JK owns everything. **

**It's Just You and Me**

Sirius had apparated us back to his house, I would have rather gone to my own, but I was thankful to be out of that situation. I would have never thought going back would prove so miserable for us.

I realized at that moment that America was no longer my home. The second everyone in my life was murdered it had ceased to be my home. I should have realized it sooner, but it was so difficult to give up a place in which you were born, lived most of your life and held so many memories.

I became weepy; I felt terribly displaced and I was surprised to find out it upset me so. I had always been a bit of a wanderer, never staying in one place for very long, but I always had that home to go back to if I needed it. My mom and dad would always take me back, even if they did so grudgingly, I would never be turned away.

I would have thought England would have become my home by now, after all I had been living in London for over 3 years and I had my friends and I had Sirius, but it still wasn't a true family, and family was were your home was. I began to cry as I realized that was something I would probably never have again.

Sirius noticed me crying and came over to the sofa where I was sitting, from where he had been lighting the fire and put his arm around me pulling me into his chest. "Darling you're such a girl." he said in reference to the waterworks. I smiled into his chest. He always knew how to make me feel better. I didn't need sympathy or a shoulder to cry on; I needed someone there to make me laugh and tell me to man up.

I explained to him how I felt about not having a real home or family, in between tears. He listened quietly and when I finished he pushed me back from him and grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.

"Colleen, look at me" he said firmly when I attempted to avoid his gaze. I obeyed. He only used my first name when he was being serious.

"I know exactly how you feel, because I felt the same way" he told me. "I came back here with nothing; I had no real family, no real friends, and no home. But you made me feel like I did, like I had something going for me again" he smiled.

"It's just me and you darling, it's always been."

That was true, I had told him that even before he was alive. It had always just been me and him, two completely fucked up people with crazy lives and I felt better knowing I was not alone in my displacement. I hadn't thought that Sirius would have felt that way because he always seemed to fit right in, and I knew Harry considered Sirius family.

"You know, I think I'm okay with that. We are just two crazy as son of a bitch's." I said referring to his last comment.

* * *

He laughed for a minute before he pulled my face to his and kissed me; slow and sweet at first and then deeper and more passionately.

His tongue slipped past my lips as we began exploring each other's mouths. He this taste that I couldn't explain, he tasted like a man ought to. I quickly found my self on the floor in front of the fire, with his body hovering over mine.

His hand was under my dress gliding his fingers across the skin on my legs, then slowly moving upwards to my stomach and finally settling on my chest. My skin was tickled and covered in goose bumps as he slipped his hand under my bra and I gasped at the sensation as he smirked "that's the reaction I was going for." He smiled.

He continued kissing me on my lips, leaving little bites on my neck and brushing across my nipple with his thumb, causing waves electricity to fire through my body. I knew I would never be able to tell him no now; I had to give into to carnal desires sometime. My breathing was heavy and ragged, and I felt completely defenseless in his hands.

Remind me again why I was holding out on him? It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

"Don't make me stop." He begged me in a low and husky voice and bedroom eyes. "I don't want you to stop" I assured him. If he even tried to stop I would have to rape him.

He pulled away for a moment and brought me up onto my knees. I thought I had done something wrong but realized after a second what he was really doing.

He reached for the bottom of my dress and began pulling it up until he had it off of me and I was sitting in my bra and panties. Thank god I had worn a decent pair that day. Black lace, I would have been pretty embarrassed if he had caught me in cotton granny panties, not that he hadn't before, but that seemed like ions ago.

I was not going to be sitting there alone in my knickers so I grabbed his shirt and helped him to pull it off. He was fit as I had remembered him to be and it was hard to believe he was ever so sickly and thin as he had been when he first returned from the dead. I rubbed my hand down his toned chest and he roughly placed his mouth over mine, flicking his tongue against mine.

The fire between us was becoming almost unbearable. I wanted him inside me right then; if I waited any longer I would die. I undid the button of his pants and then the zipper, making sure I brushed against him as much as possible, hearing his agonized gasps of breath as I caressed his skin. I removed the clothing and found he was wearing black boxer briefs and I could see how ready he was for me through the thin material.

"Are you nervous?" I asked him

"No, are you?" he asked in return. I was, I know I had been naked and having sex in his presence before, but him being the one I was actually sleeping with was different.

"Yeah, a little" I replied truthfully, not meeting his gaze.

"It's just me Darling." He said reassuringly and a little confused.

"I know that's why I'm nervous." I didn't know what would happen after we did this, sex changes everything.

"I would never hurt you" he promised and still on our knees he pulled off my bra with one hand "such a pro" I kidded him and he smiled and shrugged.

"You're so fucking beautiful" He said as his eyes greedily roved over my half naked form. I was keeling there topless; chest flushed and nipples errect and suddenly felt self conscious, which was silly, but I had never noticed him looking so hard or with the same hunger in his eyes.

He must have sensed my uncomfortableness because he laid me back down, placing himself on top of me.

He had my breast in his hand caressing, as his lips made its way down my neck and chest until he reached my nipple and took it into his mouth. He licked and sucked as I began to whimper and writhe beneath him; the sensations rushing through me were more intense than any I had ever experienced. As I feverishly moved against him I could feel myself rubbing against his erection, and he began to moan with me.

I put my hand on the top of his boxers toying with the band, and began to draw circles on his skin, teasing him. As he laid against me I noticed his eyelids fluttering and fighting to stay open and his concentration on my pleasure breaking.

I slid my hand teasingly slow down his boxers toward his cock, and when I reached it and lightly ran my fingertips down his shaft he let out a soft groan. "Oh Jesus Darling, what are you doing to me?" he said biting his lip.

I pushed him off of me, rolling him onto his back and climbed on top. I pulled his boxers of with my hands and teeth, when I looked down at him his head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. I wrapped my hand around him and began slowly sliding up and down. He was tensing up and rocking his hips in rhythm with my hand strokes "don't stop" he pleaded as I slowed, but I did.

I stopped touching him for a moment, bent down over him and started kissing his muscular chest which had began to glisten with perspiration and moving lower to his stomach to the line of black hair below his navel. I kissed and licked every part of him but the part he was begging me too, tormenting him.

"You are such a bitch." He teased when I drew my tongue down his shaft. I smiled, and finally gave him what he had wanted. I took his length into my mouth and he moaned out my name, and grabbed my hair as I began to move it up and down.

I toyed with him, tasting him and listening to the little sounds of gratitude he was making until he pushed me off "Stop, Stop. I'm not going to last if you keep this up." He said pained, clearly not really want me to stop, but I was forced to as he rolled himself back on top of me and ripped off my panties. He grabbed my hands and pinned my arms over my head with one of his hands. But it was what the other hand was doing that I was most concerned with.

That hand was the one making its way down to my crotch. He tickled and teased until finally he slipped his fingers into my wet folds and I cried out in bliss as he rubbed up and down and drew figure eights on the bare flesh between my legs. "Oh God Sirius!"

"you're so wet" he whispered into my ear, making my toes curl. All of my other sexual experiences combined were not as good as this one and we were just getting started.

He let the my arms free so he could support himself better and my hands flew to his back and neck, digging my nails into his skin out of pleasure. He was ferociously kissing my lips and still stroking my damp core when I felt the throbbing desire rising. "I'm gonna come, oh god Sirius, I'm gonna come." I whimpered.

"Not for the last time" he promised. I threw back my head and cried out his name as the waves of ecstasy washed over me. My fingers were grasping furiously at his back and neck and he left my legs shaking long after it was over.

* * *

"You're so fucking perfect." He told me as I came. "I need you right now."

I shook my head yes. "I want you inside of me." I replied, he had no idea how badly I wanted him.

He looked perfectly happy to oblige and he slipped himself into me slowly and carefully filling me up. We both let out moans as he began pumping in and out gently at first then more aggressively. We kept eye contact the whole time, well whenever we managed to keep our eyes open that is. There was something desperately sexy about knowing he was watching my face as he moved inside me. I found my hips slamming against him wildly of there own accord and I felt like if this got any better I would pass out. He kissed me off and on for the duration of our lovemaking, which I found very intoxicating; it was something no one else had ever done.

They were quick and too the point when it came to sex, it was mostly for them, if I got off, cool but if not so what. Sirius was not like that, I think he would have considered himself a failure at life if I hadn't come.

He was able to hold for a good while, which I know must have been difficult for him and I appreciated the effort. "Oh, Jesus Darling, I'm going to come" he panted. Perfect timing I thought to myself because there was no way I could keep going "so am I" I cried out.

He thrust wildly a few more times before I was hit with the familiar burst of ecstasy, and felt my muscles contracting around him. His hand was pulling my hair slightly as he moaned loudly and poured himself into me.

After we finished he stayed inside of me for a while, and we made out on the rug in front of the fire. He tasted like sweat and sex and everything was so perfect, that I didn't know why I had denied him for as long as I did.

"I love you" he told me very seriously as he pulled himself off my mouth, and played with my hair. And for the first time in 3 years I actually felt loved.

With Sirius, it was passionate and romantic and comfortable, I felt I was exactly were I belonged as opposed to my displaced feeling from earlier.

"I love you too, Sirius" It was the first time I had actually said the words to him but he responded with "I know darling, I'm just glad you finally let me shag you. You have no idea of the agony I was in." He said dramatically.

"Yes, I do. I wanted it too you know." I responded. Men are such babies.

"Not as bad as I did, actually I think we should do it again for good measure." He said slyly as he began to touch me again. I had the feeling that my life was going to consist of nothing but sex for the next few months and I was more than happy with that.

**

* * *

****Finally right? I couldn't hold them back any longer, not that I really wanted to. So for the recap: Colleen realizes that America is not her home any longer, Sex; She tells him she loves him and more sex, end of chapter. I hope it wasn't too corny or stupid I did try to make it kind of hot. Review and tell me what you think. **


	24. Brawl in the Alley

**Hi everyone! Thanks for the reviews they were lovely. Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I had writer's block. So hopefully this chapter isn't complete crap:)**** Enjoy and remember that I own nothing. **

**Brawl in the Alley**

It was the day after I had finally given into Sirius and let him shag me senseless. I had gone home to shower and change before meeting up with him for dinner. So I was blissfully happy with the whole situation and felt like I should tell Jen about the advancements in our relationship.

I knew she would want to know all the juicy details so I called her and the phone rang for like 15 times before she finally answered.

"Hey Colleen" she spoke. "Hey, so guess what?" I asked her excitedly.

"You finally porked Black." She stated.

What the hell? "How did you know?" I questioned her, hoping it was just a lucky guess only to have those hopes dashed. "Ginny called this morning to tell me all about it." She replied casually.

Were there no secrets among these people? "How the bloody hell did Ginny know, I haven't told anyone?" I demanded her.

"You're starting to let those Brits get to you, bloody hell? You don't say that, you're an American McAvoy; say it properly fucking hell, fucking hell like the rest of us." I rolled my eyes at her over the phone. "But anyways Sirius flooed Harry who told Ginny who called me." Damn them all to hell! This was rather embarrassing, but I did wonder what exactly he had told them.

"Ugh Sirius and his big fucking mouth… how's that for American?" I asked her. "Better, and did you honestly think he wouldn't tell anybody, come on Colleen he's finally conquered you, how can you expect him not to gloat just a little?" I don't think anyone ever gloated for sleeping with me before, the thought kind of made me giddy.

"I figured he would tell Harry, but I didn't except the news to make it halfway around the world; it's not that exciting." I stated slightly annoyed at Sirius. I should have known; gossip travels fast in London; I wouldn't be surprised if it was in tomorrow's Witch Weekly.

"You seemed pretty excited about it. So… how was it?" She asked me excitedly. Hmm where to begin and what to leave out? Most of it was x rated and I doubted she would want to hear those parts anyways. "It was perfect Jen, I rate him a ten and 5 points extra for the each additional encounter." I told her.

"How many encounters where there?!" Jen asked laughing at my terminology. "Four. I'm actually rather tired today" I told her smiling into the phone as I recalled the previous night's events. "You Hussy!" She kidded. "Charlie and I only made it up to three."

"Well you and Charlie jumped right into bed a week after meeting each other; we had to make up for lost time." I explained. That and we didn't seem to be able to get enough of each other; it was like he wasn't satisfied until he knew every little thing that turned me on. He barely let me go home to change.

"Mmhm, or you were just horny." She replied. "Yeah, that might have been it. But anyways enough about my sex life, what day are you coming in for the wedding?" I asked her.

Jen and Charlie's wedding was in two weeks. They had decided to have it in London because most of their friends and family were here. I was the maid of honor which I was totally stoked about. (I was a weird girl. I always wanted to be a bridesmaid but never a bride and I always wanted to be a godmother but never really thought about being a mother. My brain is fucked up, oh well it's still mine so I have to love it.)

I was going to be wearing this lovely green dress but nothing compared to Jen's gown. It was a white mermaid style wedding gown that was beaded in real diamonds and silver thread. It had cost the girl a fortune but I thought it was well worth the money.

She was also going to wear Auntie Muriel's tiara which looked stunning against her jet black hair and tanned skin. None of it was my style or what I would have picked for myself, but it fit her perfectly and she looked amazing at the fitting so I could only imagine the actual wedding.

"I'm coming in 4 days before the ceremony to make sure everything is right. I am so fucking excited, I never thought I would want to get married and now here I am." She said happily. I was really happy for her too, I was glad she was able to start a new life for herself after everything that had happened.

"I'm so excited for you too! I can't wait!" I exclaimed to her practically squealing, how girly of me I know. "Me either, but let me call you later I have to get to work okay?" She told me before we said our goodbyes and hung up.

* * *

Now to get dressed before I went back to Sirius' house and murdered him for his inability to keep his mouth shut. I threw on a blue sundress and apparated over to his house to find him shirtless napping on the sofa. For everything that had been taken from me at least I got a hot boyfriend. "Okay God, we'll call it even then…for now" I said silently.

He was sleeping so peacefully that I knew I had to be an asshole and wake him up with a shock. I pondered for a moment before taking out my wand "agumenti" I said quietly and a stream of cold water flew out and drenched the sleeping Sirius.

"Ahhh!" He screamed as he shot up from the sofa, gasping for air and looking frantically for the culprit before realizing what had happened. I was laughing too hard to continue with the charm and he gave me a death glare.

"Bitch; you think you're so bloody funny." Sirius said smiling as he shook out his hair getting me wet in the process.

"Oh Sirius I wish I had a camera for moments like these, you should have seen yourself." I said as I continued to laugh.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve such treatment?" He asked feigning hurt feelings.

"Really Sirius, really, it might be because you told everyone we know that I slept with you. Even Jen knew about it, and she lives in Romania for god's sake."

"The only person I told was Harry I can't help if he can't keep a secret to save his life." Sirius told me shrugging and coming over to kiss me. "Get off, you're soaking wet." I told him as I pushed him away playfully.

"Funny, I said the same thing to you last night" he said cheekily. I rolled my eyes and flushed slightly. Sirius is still a pervert, some things never change. But he was right I think he did say those exact words.

"You're sooo clever, you smarmy bastard." He just shrugged and looked rather proud of his comment. "Go get changed I'm hungry" I ordered. "Alright you bloody tyrant, I'll be back in a second" He said as he disappeared up the stairs to get changed.

* * *

We apparated to Diagon Alley and headed towards Angelina's my favorite restaurant and after dinner went to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks. "Hi Hannah!" I greeted the owner as we entered. It had been a while since I had been to the Leaky Cauldron and I was interested in all the gossip.

I know I know, gossip is bad, but so very interesting. Hannah brought us our drinks and pulled up a chair to the table where Sirius and I where sitting and started giving me all the details. "So have you heard about Blaise Zabini ?" She asked me. "Nothing since Sirius kicked his ass." I told her as I patted Sirius' arm in thanks. He just shrugged "I wanted you all to myself."

"Okay, well anyways after you broke his poor little heart he apparently had a fling with Astoria Malfoy and now she's preggers and no one knows who the father is." She finished her story in an exhilarated tone.

"No! But Blaise and Malfoy are like best friends!" I exclaimed. Sirius just looked bored and slightly inebriated.

I swear wizarding London was getting more and more like an episode of Maury. I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow some 16 year old is claiming to have been impregnated by Voldermort. If this comes to fruition I'm out; I hear Costa Rica is nice this time of year.

"Don't they have tests to determine paternity in the wizarding world?" I asked her, surely they did. "Oh yeah of course, but they won't be able to tell until the baby is born. Now it's just nine months of the waiting game." She laughed.

"So Blaise got his ass kicked twice in the past month, Sirius and Malfoy, only he had to go to Saint Mungo's when Malfoy got a hold of him. That's how I found out about it, my friend Patricia is a Healer there and she had to fix 6 of his broken bones." Hannah explained.

"Serves him right, I know Malfoy was a douchebag but sleeping with your best friend's wife is just low; even for a Slytherin." I mused.

"Who are you talking about, Zabini? Bloody prick, If I ever see him again his life will be ended" Sirius interjected loudly, slightly slurring from the firewhiskey. I laughed and said "You're such a lightweight Sirius," His life will be ended? that seemed excessive.

"Please darling, I would like to see you after 5 Firewhiskeys." He pointed his finger at me sloppily. I just laughed at him. "Well Hannah, I better get him home before he causes a scene. I'll see you around" I told her before hugging her goodbye and stepping out into Diagon Alley with my drunken boyfriend in tow.

"I can't believe I had sex with you 4 times last night!" Sirius stated rather loudly for all of Diagon Alley to hear. I brought my hands up to my face trying to hide my identity. "Sirius! Shut your drunk ass up!" I hissed at him embarrassed, yet slightly amused. "What?" he responded clearly confused on what he had done wrong.

"Sirius, last night was great but you don't need to announce it to the world." I explained slowly to him. As if I didn't have people staring at me enough already, now he's going to tell them about my sexual habits.

"Fine, so I shouldn't say anything about that little noise you make right before you co…" He was cut off by my hand flying over his mouth. "You douchebag, now you're just doing it on purpose." I grinned at him.

If any other boyfriend I had would have made such a scene I would have been seriously pissed. But Sirius managed to embarrass me in such a charming way that I couldn't help but find him funny. Bastard.

"I know" He replied haughtily as we continued to walk through the streets widow shopping. I thought he would feel better if he walked off the liquor and honestly I wanted him all over me so I had to sober him up a little.

Not that he would have minded if I would have taken advantage of him while he was under the influence but you know what they say about whiskey, I wanted to make sure everything on him was in working order before our clothes came off.

* * *

Unfortuantly while on our little sober up jaunt I spotted my new arch nemesis and his mother AKA Blaise and Druella. Of course, I just happened to make eye contact with the pig beast herself and she came striding over to where I was standing. Once again I have no luck.

The only saving grace was that Blaise ran into a shop to avoid whatever his mother had in store. I knew I could keep calm, but my drunk angry bf was another story. Hadn't he just threatened to end Blaise's life?

"Colleen, Sirius, funny seeing you here isn't it?" she asked in a sickly sweet and polite voice. However I could sense the underlying hatred for both of us in her tone. "No, not really, this is the only Wizarding Street in London." Sirius replied curtly and I had to look down and bite my lip to keep from giggling.

Druella just gave him a tight lipped smile and continued " I heard you had been seeing my son's ex." She spoke directly to Sirius but motioning to me. " I can't say I blame you dear" she said now turning to me.

"He was very good in the bedroom, I should know. You know if you ever want to recapture the moment I'd be more than willing" And with that statement she ran her finger down Sirius chest seductively. I found this all amusing because although she was trying to make me jealous she was just making herself sound like a whore. Sirius looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"Oh, come off it Butler. I fucked you once in a broom closet and only because I was shitfaced. You're not going to make her jealous by bringing up shags from 30 years ago and Colleen's an amazing lay, I don't need you" Sirius said in a venomous tone.

Amazing eh? He was going to get more than amazing in appreciation for that little comment.

"Jealous? I was merely stating a fact, it was more of a compliment really. And please Blaise told me all about her "performance" Druella said struggling to keep her composure. That was weird; I don't think mothers and sons should talk about the quality of their sex lives, but to each his own.

However, this bitch was really starting to get on my nerves, who goes around telling people they slept with your boyfriend and offering to do so again?

"I'm sure it was" she said smiling "well you know where to find me if you change your mind." And with that she walked started to walk off leaving Sirius and I with our mouths hung open from the shock of her actually saying such a thing.

"I can't believe she just…darling?" I heard Sirius say when he realized I was no longer standing next to him but running after the bitch that was trying to proposition my man. "Druella!" I yelled and she turned around just in time to see my fist about to make contact with her face.

I punched her hard, right in the eye, and she fell down from the force, but not before grabbing my hair and bringing me down with her. We fell in the middle of Diagon Alley with a crowd starting to form around us.

I was on top of her and she was ripping the hair from my head, the whore. Really? Hair pulling; fight like a man bitch. We were both screaming at each other and I continued to hit her where ever I could find an open spot and I'm pretty sure I was winning. I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and try to pull me off of her but my hair was still in her hands.

"Ow, fuck let me go, god damn it." I yelled both at Druella and at the person pulling me off of her. Actually I see now why women pull hair, it fucking hurts. There was too much commotion for me to see exactly what was going on but I know someone got her hand open and freed my hair.

"Darling, darling calm down" I heard Sirius yelling at me. He was the one who had pulled me off of Druella and I realized that Blaise had come out of the store he had been hiding I and he had got her to let go of my hair and was now helping her up off the ground. "You stay the hell away from Sirius you stupid cunt!" I yelled, yes I called her the most horrible word I could think of two points for me.

"How dare you talk to me like that you slut!" She yelled in retaliation, my insult was way better, no points for her. "Zabini get that bitch under control." Sirius yelled at Blaise as he was still trying to hold me back from attacking her again.

"Don't you dare call my mother a bitch! Get that stupid fucking American under control!" He yelled back. What a bastard I am not stupid. But before I could defend myself Sirius had let me go and pushed me out of the way as he lunged at Blaise and they fell to the ground.

Sirius was on top of Blaise punching him on the face and they were both yelling horrible insults at each other and towards me and Druella. Speaking of Druella she caught my eye "Now look what you've done you filthy mudblood!" I heard the crowd around us gasp.

"Oh hell no bitch" I said calmly before attacking her again. So Me, Sirius, Blaise and Druella were all rolling around beating the shit out of each other in the middle of Diagon Alley when a bunch of people jumped in and began tearing us off of one another. Shit, the 5-0. I hope we don't have to go to jail.

So the wizarding police stopped the brawl and had us all successfully restrained before Blaise and Druella told them that Sirius and I had been the one's to hit first and they were merely defending themselves. Sons of bitches.

I looked over at Sirius whose bloodied lip was swelling rather quickly and his eyes caught mine. It started as a slow smile but after a few seconds we were both cracking up at the situation we found ourselves in. We had gotten into a street brawl with our ex's and were possibly going to jail, but we both found the situation devastatingly hilarious.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you people?" Blaise asked scowling at us. The police had gotten the full story and Sirius and I were going to be put into a holding cell as punishment until someone came to bail us out.

Fortunately for us Mrs. Hermione Granger Weasley was the head of magical law enforcement and came as soon as she heard that Sirius and I had been in a fight. When she found out that I had been called a mudblood she threatened to charge Druella with a hate crime and so to keep out of trouble Druella and Blaise dropped the charges against us. Maybe I did have a little luck after all.

"What were you two thinking?!" she yelled at Sirius and we got back to my house. "That's the problem Hermione, we weren't thinking." Sirius said with a straight face before dropping his head in shame. I lost it then, I thought I peed my pants I was laughing so hard and Sirius joined in when he could keep up the charade no longer.

"Ugh, you two are hopeless." Hermione rolled her eyes before disapparating.

"I can't believe tonight fucking happened. We were almost arrested." I said still laughing. "Yeah well, it wouldn't be the first time for me." he replied grinning. It was getting easier for him to talk about Azkaban and the war now.

"Well, I couldn't just let that bitch get away with propositioning you could I?" I asked him. "And I certainly could not let Zabini call you 'a stupid fucking American' either" He replied. "No, I guess not" I said smiling

"Right, so come on you stupid fucking American, let's get you cleaned up you look like you've been through a war." He stated playfully as he pulled me up off the sofa and into the bathroom. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special Black" I replied sarcastically.

"I try, so hurry up I want to hear you make that little noise again." He winked at me and shut the door behind us.

**

* * *

**

**Okay so this chapter had a lot of references to US pop culture that I thought I would explain for some of the readers that aren't from America. Forgive me if you do know them and I'm being redundant. So, Maury is an afternoon talk show that has topics like: "I'm 13 and I don't know if my baby's daddy is my boyfriend or my cousin." Real classy I know. And the 5-0 is a reference to the police, you probably got that one figured out but in case you didn't. Anyway I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and please review. **


	25. Back to the Shower

**Hi Everyone, Thank you so much for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. Sorry this one took so long to get out; I have finals coming up and have a million school papers to write. But anyways I make no money off this endeavor and hope you like it. **

**Back to the Shower**

The day of Jen and Charlie's wedding was finally here and everything was chaos. All the girls were getting ready at the castle where the ceremony and reception was going to be held and there was general nervousness and panic from everyone but me. I knew as long as I appeared calm and in control Jen would be too.

I was trying to get myself and Jen ready as well as making sure everyone else was doing what they were supposed to and everything was in place. Me, Ginny, Hermione and Jen's friend Tara from Romania were the bridesmaids and Lily and Rose were the flower girls.

Everything in the Bride's room seemed to be going swimmingly but I see now why muggles have wedding planners. I made sure the flowers and the white satin aisle where in place before heading over to the groom's room to make sure everything was running smoothly in there and to deliver Jen's gift for him.

I knocked on the door. "Charlie? It's Colleen, are you decent?"

I thought Jen may be a little peeved if I saw her husband naked on their wedding day before she did.

"Yeah, Come in." I heard him reply. I stepped in the room to find Charlie and the rest of the Weasley bros. dressed quite handsomely in their black dress robes.

"You guys look good, are you ready?" I asked them all but mainly Charlie. "Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be" Charlie replied. I smiled at him

"Here is a wedding gift from Jen" I handed him a small box that contained two silver cufflinks in the shape of dragons.

"These are great!" he exclaimed as I helped him put them on. "I have Jen's gift too." He handed me another small box wrapped in gold paper.

* * *

When I got back to Jen and the other Bride's maids and flower girls they were all ready to go. Jen looked gorgeous in her dress and veil with her hair pulled half up and covered with Auntie Muriel's Tiara. I had to wipe away a tear.

"Are you crying?" Jen asked me.

"No, I'm not crying. I have allergies" I lied to her.

"Here is your gift from Charlie, he loved the cufflinks" I said as I handed her the gold box. She opened it and found a diamond and platinum bracelet inside. She gasped as she saw it. "It goes perfectly with the dress" she said as I put it on her.

* * *

The time was 12:57 pm and Jen was due down the aisle in exactly three minutes. I was running around frantically making sure everything was in place when I heard the music start to play.

I got everybody in line and a very pregnant Hermione started walking down the Aisle, followed by Ginny, then Tara and finally me. I looked back at Jen and smiled at her and Mr. Weasley who was giving her away. Sirius winked at me from the audience as I met Bill halfway down the aisle.

As I made it to the end of the aisle I turned to hear the wedding march. Jen looked stunning and glowingly happy as she came towards Charlie, who somehow managed to look even more ecstatic than she did.

The ceremony itself was short and sweet and when they kissed everyone cheered and then made their way into the reception hall.

The reception went well and everyone had an amazing time. There was food, liquor and dancing, who wouldn't have a good time? Unfortunately my maid of honor duties had kept me from Sirius for most of the night until the dancing started.

He pulled me close to him when a slow song began to play. "I didn't think the maid of honor was supposed to outshine the bride." He whispered to me.

"Kiss ass" I whispered back and we continued to dance until it came time to throw the bouquet which I caught and was very excited about. I walked off the dance floor and began to look for my lover.

I saw Sirius and I had to do a double take. That redhead girl I caught him in bed with months ago was sitting way too close for comfort and whispering something in his ear. How did she get herself invited anyway? He laughed as she ran her had down his chest. What the fuck? I was working to make sure this wedding went off without a hitch and he's letting this hussy feel him up. Hell no.

I stomped over to the happy couple. "Sirius, I need to talk to you about something" I said curtly to him. I tried to not let on how truly pissed off I was and he looked as if he suspected nothing. "alright darling, I'll be there in a minute." He told me casually. I smiled sweetly "Now" I said as I looked him dead in the eye and grabbed his arm dragging him away from the girl.

When we were in the foyer of the castle away from all the other guests I began to yell. "What the fuck was that Sirius?!" He looked confused. "What are you talking about?" He asked with a scrunched up eyebrow.

"Don't play dumb Sirius; you and firecrotch over there."

"Who? Oh, you mean Melody? What about her? I was just talking, I am allowed to talk to other women aren't I?" he replied. I glared at him; he knew exactly what he was doing and why I was angry.

"No! Not if you talk to them like that. You weren't just talking Sirius; she was whispering in your ear and rubbing her hand down your chest!"

"Darling it was nothing, I didn't even notice she was doing that, don't worry about it." He said in a voice that made it seem like he was talking down to a child. He clearly lost his mind. I was not a woman to be disrespected.

"Don't play with me Black! You knew exactly what she was doing and you seemed to be enjoying yourself well enough." I yelled at him. I thought he looked slightly guilty.

"Colleen, I was doing anything wrong, just calm down and go back to the party." He told me in an annoyed tone.

"Why so you can go and fuck her in an empty room? I'm not stupid you know! I know exactly what you would have done if I hadn't caught you back there!" Maybe I was just being insecure, but he had slept with her before and they seemed to be getting awfully friendly didn't they? So he was with me now, I wasn't sure what that meant to him, did it mean he was completely faithful to me?

"You are insane; you know I wouldn't do that, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Sirius demanded.

"You are what's wrong with me Sirius. Go tell that bitch the parties over and send her home. We have to tell Jen and Charlie Bye." I told him as I walked back to the reception hall making it clear we were not done with this conversation.

* * *

I made my way over to Jen and tried to pretend like everything was just peachy. I saw Sirius out of the corner of my eye telling Melody goodbye and hugging her much to my displeasure. After Melody had left he came to join the rest of us in sending the bride and groom off.

I went to hug Jen "Have fun on your honeymoon Jen, remember to use protection." I winked at her and smiled. "I will, hey I should be saying that to you now too" she smiled back.

"Eh, I won't need to worry about that tonight" I told her as I glared at Sirius, who just looked exasperated. "Aww, your first lover's quarrel, I remember me and Charlie's, I punched him in the face" she laughed as she reminisced. I just shook my head at her.

"Such violence Mrs. Weasley; Anyway these vultures behind me look like their getting inpatient so be good and have fun, and call when you get a chance." I told her before hugging her again and then moving on to tell Charlie bye and to watch out for my best friend.

After everyone had told the couple goodbye and the house elves had begun to clear away the food and decorations, much to Hermione's chagrin, Sirius came over to me and asked if I was ready to leave. "Yeah" I replied grabbing his arm as he apparated us to my house.

* * *

I immediately went upstairs to shower without uttering a single word to him. Was I being childish? Sure, but he deserved it. I was standing in nothing but my bra and panties when he burst through the locked door.

"What is your problem darling!" he yelled at me as I tried to cover myself up. I felt extremely naked in front of him at that moment. "And don't bother covering up it's not like I haven't seen you a million times." He stated as if he could hear my thoughts.

I threw down the towel that I had been holding up to hide myself. "Fine! Fine! You want to know what my problem is? You're still fucking that red headed slut! That is my problem!" I screeched. I really didn't think he was sleeping with her, but I kind of just felt like a fight and I wanted to test him.

"What would you do about it if I was?!" he yelled back.

Wait what? He was still sleeping with her? What did he mean by that? I don't know what I would do if he was, this was not how I expected this fight to go.

I think he noticed that he had hurt me by his last comment and his face softened.

"I would kill both of you" I replied coldly before screaming "I can't do this Sirius! I can't worry all the time whether or not you're going to get tired of me and find someone else!"

"Come on darling, I'm not with her, I haven't been since the time you found us together. It's just you, even when I was with her I always wanted you." Sirius told me as he tried to grab my hands, but I pulled away.

Still, that was a relief, he seemed sincere. "How do I know you're telling the truth?" I questioned him. There was always a chance that he was lying.

"Because I love you, and why would I work so hard to get into your pants if I was already in hers?" He stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"To trick me into believing that you loved me" I said in return. I still had this fear that this relationship was all some sick joke that Bolvechek's followers were playing on me. What a perfect revenge, making you love someone only to have it shot down in an instant.

"Will you just stop?! Of course I really love you; I would do anything for you, anything! If you asked me to go up and hug a dementor I would do so gladly, just to make you happy!"

He said this with such sincerity that I had no choice but to believe him. I was a little shocked, a dementor, that was the one thing he feared, and he would hug one? Just because I wanted him too, just to make me happy? Now that was devotion if I had ever seen it. Maybe I would need that protection tonight after all.

"Then why where you all over Melody?" I asked meekly. So perhaps I overreacted a tad, it happens.

"She was all over _me_, because I was drunk and I had a slow reaction time in getting her to stop. I was just talking to her, I didn't touch her except to hug her goodbye, nothing happened and nothing will, got it?" He explained to me calmly.

"Yeah, I guess." I said not looking at him. He grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. "You guess?" he asked. "Okay fine, I believe you, bastard" I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

He gave me a peck on the lips. "Good, now go take your shower." He commanded and slapped me on the ass. "Perv" I smirked at him as I shut the bathroom door behind me, leaving him standing in my bedroom. I liked how we got over our fights so quickly.

I stripped and got into the shower letting the hot water run over my body, washing away all the tension and stress of the day. When I felt the burning of shampoo in my eye, I remembered the day I first met the ghost of Sirius Black and smiled to myself thinking about how much my life had changed since then.

I rinsed my hair and was about to turn off the water when I heard the bathroom door open and felt someone in the room with me. I poked my head out from behind the curtain and saw Sirius lounging on top of the toilet seat just as he had on our first meeting.

"What are you doing?" I asked him smiling. He looked nervous, oh Jesus maybe he really was cheating on me and came in here to confess.

"Are you alright?" I asked him after he made no reply.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just…" he hesitated for a moment, and I found myself breathing heavy and preparing for the worst. I really don't think I could handle him cheating on me.

"I was thinking while you were in there" he said pointing to the shower. "You make me really fucking happy."

Did he mean this as truth or was he buttering me up so I didn't slaughter him when he told me he was cheating on me? I just stared at him not daring to move or even breathe.

"I thought you were going to leave me tonight" He said running his hand through his hair and his grey eyes locked with mine "And well, that just can never happen. I won't let that happen. And as queer as this may sound I think you need to hear it."

Hear what I wondered?

"I need you; I can't imagine my life without you. You are everything to me and I thought this would be the appropriate place to do it seeing as we met here." He told me very quickly and it took me a moment to process.

I can't believe he just said all that; please don't let him have cheated on me, please. "The appropriate place to do what?" I asked him as I had no idea what he was talking about.

He pulled something out of his pocket and I froze as I realized what it was.

"Propose" He said.

**That's right, he is gonna propose! I realize this chapter was a little fluffy, but everyone get's a little fluffy sometimes right? Please review and let me know what you think **


	26. Diamonds and Misunderstandings

**Okay first I would like to thank everyone who reviewed for the last chapter; I really appreciate it. Now on to the actual proposal! It's short and sweet, hope you like. **

**Diamonds and Misunderstandings**

My mouth dropped open. In his hand was the biggest f-ing diamond ring I had ever seen, I was literally half blinded by it.

"Oh. My. God." I managed to stutter out. I looked from him to the ring and back again. Did he really just say propose? Was I seriously being proposed to? In the shower?

"Marry me." He stated more than asked, classic Sirius. I was in shock; everything was going in slow motion around me and I could barely inhale much less give him an answer.

I think he took my shock as hesitation and began to explain his reasoning behind the proposal. "I know we haven't _officially_ been together that long, but I know I want this. I knew from the minute I saw you that I wanted this." He told me as he walked closer to me.

My mouth was still hanging open and I was processing things very slowly, this was Sirius Black we were talking about here; we were never really a _feelings_ couple and now he was laying all this on me? Not that I hadn't thought of marrying him, like 80 million times, but I just never thought he would actually propose. At least not so soon.

"What are you thinking? Why are you just standing there?" He asked me nervously, still holding the ring out.

I shrugged my shoulders at him and was completely at loss for words.

"Will you say something already?" Sirius pleaded, looking very nervous now. "You don't want to marry me do you?"

"No" I managed to get out.

* * *

His face dropped for a moment and then within a 2 second window a million emotions passed over him. He looked murderous and devastated as he threw the beautiful ring on the ground and quickly exited the bathroom.

What the hell was he doing? Why did he throw the ring? He just asked me to marry him and now he was running away? What did I say?

Oh fuck, I said no! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! I hadn't meant it like that! Damn it. I jumped out of the shower, picked up the ring, and still completely naked ran after him.

"Sirius! Wait!" I yelled running through the house nude and dripping wet. I almost fell down the steps but caught myself on the rail and got to him at the bottom of the stairs just before he got into the fireplace.

I slammed into him, grabbing his face and kissed him like my life depended on it. "For fuck's sake Sirius, I didn't mean no I won't marry you, I meant no you're wrong I do want to marry you" I explained to him in between kisses.

He just stood there not kissing me back, not touching me at all. He seemed to be repulsed by my presence. Damn it Sirius.

I am so fucking stupid, why the hell did I say no? I clearly have issues, who in the hell spits out the word no when the man of your dreams just proposed; me that's who.

I threw my arms around his neck and looked at him dead in the eye. "Sirius please? Of course I'll marry you, I was just in shock, I wasn't expecting you to propose to me in the shower. I love you; Hell yes I want to marry you, absolutely yes, a million times yes!" I cried out in a pleading tone.

It must have finally hit him that I had accepted his proposal because he let out a deep breathe of what sounded to be relief, and wrapping his arms around my wet body pressed his lips to mine. I could feel the heart beating hard in his chest as he ran his tongue across my own and tangled his hands in my damp hair.

* * *

"I could fucking kill you for scaring me like that" he grumbled as he pulled away and grabbed the ring out of my hand.

"Not to mention I would have to return this ridiculously priced ring." I smiled and held out my left hand. "Here let's try this again, this time say yes. Okay?" Sirius instructed.

"Okay, wait give me your shirt, I don't want to be proposed to naked in my living room" I told him.

He rolled his eyes at me, but pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to me. "Is this really the time for modesty?" he asked incredulously as his eyes roamed over my naked form. "Naked and wet is a good look for you" He told me and I could see his arousal growing.

I just shrugged and put the shirt on, effectively covering up all my bits. At least now we were both only half naked, this would make a great story for the grandkids no?

"Are you ready now…wait I should get down on one knee shouldn't I?" He said laughing as he dropped to the floor.

I shook my head at his gesture. "This really isn't necessary you know" I responded. He huffed at me "I'm trying to be romantic here darling, just go with it."

"Okay, but if your going to make this romantic shouldn't we have mood music?" I asked as I ran over to the IPod and it began playing "Unforgettable."

"Hmm, I actually couldn't have planned that any better. Okay now you may begin." I told him smirking.

"Finally; Give me your hand." He told me and I handed him the left one.

"Darling, I knew from the moment you assaulted me with a bottle of shampoo that you were the girl for me. We've been through a lot. I've had to suffer through watching you with two other blokes, holding out on me sexually and let's not forget my defiance of the laws of nature by returning from the dead. Still, if I had it all to do over I wouldn't change a second of it. My entire miserable bloody life, even Azkaban, was worth it if it means I get to have you now, well as long as you say yes this time anyway." He finished.

Oh hell, like I was going to say no to that. I don't think Voldemort himself could have turned him down. "That was really good; did you prepare this before hand?" I asked.

"No actually it just sort of came to me." He shrugged "So Colleen will you marry me?"

There was no hesitation this time, I was positive of my answer. "Yes, Sirius I will marry you." I told him and he slid the diamond onto my ring finger and then stood to kiss me. "Good." He said.

"I'm glad you asked, because this is an awesome ring" I kidded him waving my hand around making the ring sparkle in the candlelight.

"I'm glad you like it." He said in return. "I figured you would."

Unforgettable had stopped playing and the IPod moved onto the next song which was quite different but not so inappropriate for the situation; Nine Inch Nails "Closer." Sirius and I looked each other and started laughing.

"This isn't exactly the mood music I was thinking of but it works really well actually" he raised an eyebrow at me and smirked before I was pushed up against the wall and kissed in the manor of our first kiss. Only this time I knew not even a miracle could have kept my panties on, not that I was wearing any anyway.

**I thought this proposal was fitting for them, not too sappy, but just enough to make it sincere. Please review and tell me what you think? **


	27. Front Page News

**Hi everyone, Thank you again for the reviews. Sorry it's been taking me so long to update, I had finals. So Sirius and Colleen are engaged! Very exciting I know. And don't worry I plan on continuing this story for a while; I hope to get at least 35 Chapters. **

**Remember I only own my OC's and the plot. **

**Front Page News**

The morning after he had proposed to me, Sirius ran off to tell Harry and Ron and I had to get a hold of Jen before any one else did and tell her the good news. I still couldn't believe I was actually engaged. The funny thing was that although we had only officially been dating for a short while it felt like I was just meant to be with him, it always had.

I called Jen hoping that she would pick up the phone from wherever in the world she happened to be. I guess I could always send her a patronus, but I worried that she would be around muggles so I nixed that thought.

Luckily after calling her three times she picked up. "Now you answer" I said sarcastically after she said hello. "I'm on my fucking honeymoon what do you expect?" I laughed at her and said "yeah, yeah, well how is that going anyway?" I swear I could hear her smiling from across the phone, so I had a hunch it was going well.

"Awesome" she replied. " I can't believe I'm actually fucking married! And the Riviera is gorgeous, but we have actually been spending most our time in the room, if you get my drift… I mean we're having lots of sex."

"Yeah, I got that actually" I laughed at her, "Well, I'm glad you _enjoying_ yourself, but I actually called to tell you my news." I admitted to her.

"What news, you're not knocked up are you?" she asked frantically.

"No, I'm engaged!" I replied excitedly only to hear silence on the phone. "Jen? Are you there?"

"Engaged to whom?" She asked shocked. What the hell Jen, what the hell. "Draco Malfoy" I said sarcastically "Who do you think, Sirius of course." She was half dumb sometimes.

"Oh my god! I'm so excited for you, it's just shocking, you haven't been together that long" Jen told me. I had a feeling a lot of people were going to be saying that.

"I know we haven't really been together that long, but we kind of have. I mean for the first 8 months I knew him, it was just me and him, I had all his undivided attention, and I feel like he gets me you know?" I said trying to explain to her.

"You're right I always forget that you knew him way before he was alive again. So how did he propose, and what does the ring look like?" She asked like an excited school girl.

"Well" I answered "He proposed to me while I was in the shower after we had that fight after your wedding. And the way he worded it, I accidently said no, so he ran out and so I was completely frickin naked running after him, to tell him I meant yes. Luckily I stopped him and he proposed again and this time I said yes."

"That sounds like you, well both of you really, not very normal are you?" she said laughing "So what about the ring?"

"Oh, it's a great big diamond in a platinum band, its great wait till you see it." I told her as I looked admiringly down at my left hand.

"I can't wait to see it, but let me call you later, Charlie is getting impatient over here." She laughed as she told me.

"Okay, have fun," I said as I hung up the phone.

* * *

Just as I did this Hermione and Ginny apparated into my living room. They were beaming at me and so I figured they must already know. Before I could respond I was half tackled by them hugging me and squealing happily, nothing like a proposal to turn an adult into a piglet.

"Oh Colleen, I am so happy for the both of you!" Hermione told me still smiling. "Me too, you both deserve to be happy so much!" Ginny chimed in. "He told us how he proposed, it was so romantic"

Really they thought it was romantic? I did, but I thought they would go for the more traditional mushy stuff than a fight and a naked proposal. I wonder what he told them.

"I really didn't think Sirius was the romantic type, but a proposal on the beach under the moonlight, no wonder you said yes." Hermione said dreamily.

What the fuck was she on about? Sirius was such a liar, but I just laughed and agreed with Hermione. I thought the way he had really done it was a perfect way for us to get engaged, but I doubted they would understand, so I let them have their dreams.

"We have to announce this in the Prophet and the Quibbler, oh and Witch Weekly!" Ginny exclaimed."Don't worry I'll take care of everything."

"Sure, I guess" I replied. I really didn't care either way, but I supposed it was good for the magical community to know my man was completely off the market.

"So when is the wedding? Have you thought about it yet?" Hermione asked. I hadn't really thought about it but I knew I wanted a spring wedding, I always had. "In the spring I think, but that's as much as I've thought about it." I replied.

"Well then you'll have a few months to plan which is good." She replied "But I have to get back, Hugo had a cold and is being really fussy." Hermione told me of her new baby. Who names their kid Hugo anyway, only Hermione.

"Yeah, I have to start dinner" Ginny agreed "but I just wanted to tell you how happy I was."

"Thanks, girls" I replied "I'll see you around okay?" They both nodded and apparated to their respective homes.

* * *

I was exhausted from not really sleeping the night before, so I decided to take a short nap before Sirius got back. I had just put on some pajamas and got into my fluffy bed when Sirius flooed into my room.

"Hey, so you've alerted everyone we know?" I asked him jokingly as he plopped down next to me and kissed my head. "Yeah, well everyone I really care to anyway." He replied into my hair. "They're going to announce it to all of magical London, so everyone who doesn't know will soon enough." He began to take of his shoes and shirt. It was funny that although I had seen him shirtless 50 million times, I still stared at his well developed chest and stomach.

When he laid back down I snuggled up to him and started running my hand down his chest. He skin was warm and he still smelled like Ammorentia to me, a smell I now figured out was a mixture of some kind of Polo cologne and soap, with a tinge of firewhiskey mixed in.

"Sooo Sirius, a beach in the moonlight huh?" I asked him regarding Hermione and Ginny's version of the proposal.

He let out a bark of a laugh and replied "I thought you might like that, they wouldn't get the real one, so I made up the cheesiest one I could think of."

"Well, it worked they were squealing like schoolgirls." I told him.

"I know I saw it first hand." Sirius replied. "Harry and Ron did the same thing." I laughed out loud about the thought of the two top Aurors all giddy and jumping up and down.

"So how long where you planning on asking me to marry you?" I asked him. I assumed it was at least a little while because he had a ring.

"I always knew I would marry you if I was given the opportunity." He replied as he kissed me. " I decided that before I was even brought back to life." I smiled, way to make a girl melt ay?

"Well, you're just lucky my awesome magical powers brought you back to life then aren't you?"

"Or you are, you'd be stuck with Zabini or Cavanagh without me" He replied cheekily.

"Touché, Black" I told him before he captured my mouth in a kiss.

* * *

Two days later I was in my kitchen making Sirius and I breakfast when the owl came with the Daily Prophet. He grabbed it and began reading while drinking his morning tea. "Well, darling we've made the front page." He told me. I turned around to look at him and he was holding up the paper for me to see.

Right on the front was a huge picture of us laughing at a Café in Diagon Alley. I actually liked the picture, action shots are always better than poses in my opinion. We looked really happy and I remember that day I was really happy, as it was the day after Lily was born. In bold letters above the photo read "**Black** **and McAvoy: Engaged**" and went on for a whole page about our relationship and the proposal according to Ginny and Hermione.

"It must have been a slow news day, at least it's a good picture though" I mused. "Nah, Ginny works for the prophet, she did this. And I'm sure yesterday's Quibbler was all Luna" Sirius assured me inspecting the article.

The Quibbler the day before had been very similar to the Prophet. Only that picture had been when Sirius and I were being questioned by the wizarding police after the Diagon Alley brawl. We were both quite amused.

I was handing him a plate of French toast as another owl flew in, this time with my Witch Weekly. I grabbed and saw, not to my surprise, a picture of Sirius and I on the cover. The title read "**London's Most Eligible Bachelor: Off the Market**." I opened it and saw a 2 page article about Sirius' previous relationships and our own, quotes from Ginny Weasley Potter "We always knew they were made for each other", quotes from Hermione Granger Weasley "Even before he came back, we thought they would have made a great couple. We were so excited when they finally got together."

And of course one from the thorn in my side, enemy number one and Witch Weekly model Grace Pearson "It won't last, he is such a player and she is terribly boring and not very pretty, is she?" Luckily the next line in the write up, was "This sounds like jealousy from a former love interest of Mr. Black." Haha bitch, I thought to myself.

Sirius looked at the article and sighed, "Grace" he said as he rolled his eyes "You're much prettier than her." he assured me. He knew what to say so I didn't murder him.

"You better say that." I replied and he smiled at me and shrugged "It's true."

We finished breakfast and he got ready to go to work. He had begun Auror training 2 weeks ago. I was not particularly pleased with his choice of career, it was ridiculously dangerous, but I knew he was all about catching dark wizards so nothing like Voldemort ever happened again.

Sirius had practically moved in with me when he started training, and he had most of his things at my house. Although we never told each other, I knew he didn't like to be away from me and I felt the same, I had this slight worry in the back of my mind that he could always just pop back off into oblivion at any moment and I wanted to make the most of our time together. It just seemed like a normal progression in our relationship, and it had been "Padfoot's pad" at one time anyway.

He came over to kiss me goodbye before he left. "I'll see you tonight Darling" he told me as he pulled away. "Alright, don't die" I told him and he laughed and promised he wouldn't before flooing to the ministry.

* * *

I was bored without him and was considering taking a job as a writer for The Quibbler to pass the time. I liked the Quibbler, it was a fun and obscure paper that I really enjoyed because it allowed you to be creative and not so serious all the time, like the Prophet. I got dressed and decided to go and talk to Luna about the position.

Luna was more than happy to give me the job and I was really excited about it. I was now the junior reporter on the daily news. After having lunch with Luna in Diagon Alley and discussing all the details of the position, I returned home at 3:30 to find a box of chocolate on the coffee table. Next to the chocolate was a note from Sirius that read

I knew you liked these, so eat up and I'll see you tonight. Love, Sirius.

He was right I did love these chocolates, Godiva truffles, my favorite. I am a chocolate whore. Sirius could be so fucking sweet sometimes it was ridiculous. I opened the box and popped one of the delicious chocolates in my mouth, savoring the taste as it melted on my tongue.

But it tasted funny, and suddenly the room was spinning and I could feel my heart beating obnoxiously hard in my chest. Something was wrong. I had a huge lump in my throat ant it was making it very hard to breathe, I started to panic and tried to make my way to the fireplace to get Ginny, I knew she would be home.

But I never made it to the fireplace; I was stopped by a beautiful, tall, blonde woman, Grace. 'Fuck' I thought to myself when I saw her.

"Grace" I said trying to plead with her, as I scanned the room frantically looking for my wand. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and I was getting lightheaded.

"I told you to watch your back bitch" Grace said coldly "Sirius'll need me to comfort him once you're dead." With that she kicked me in the stomach and I hit the ground hard.

Shit, I was going to die, the cunt had poisoned the chocolate, she ruined a perfectly good box of Godiva, cruel, cruel world. I can't believe I survived Bolvechek and was going to die at the hands of an anorexic model. This was not okay.

I wished I would live, Sirius and Jen would be seriously pissed at me for dying.

I looked up at her with fire in my eyes. "Fuck you" I managed to get out before everything went dark.

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**Dun dun dun! Oh No she's been poisoned! What will happen? You know I have to make drama. Oh and I have a question for all the readers. Do you like the lemons or do you think I should just allude to the sex? Let me know. **


	28. Floating, I Watched

**Hi everyone, I'm back again, finals are over so I should be able to update more frequently:)**** Oh and just warning you that there is a bit of one sided smut in this chapter. I would like to thank NinjaMonkey20 for the review, always appreciated. And like always, JKR owns this entire world, unfortunately. **

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**Floating, I Watched**

I awoke feeling like I was in a dream; light and calm, floating about as if I didn't have a care in the world. The feeling reminded me of drifting off to sleep in front of the fireplace, it was warm and I was lethargic. My vision was fuzzy and I couldn't decipher where I was, but I knew it was bright and stark white. Only the vague outlines of whatever world I was in were visible.

My hearing was just as fuzzy as my sight, if not more so. I could hear something, there was a commotion going on wherever I was, but it just sounded like the noise a television would make if you had left it on and went outside. The sound was low, faraway and almost undetectable, but it was there.

My thoughts were affected by this state as well, they were jumping around and undecipherable and I was not able to concentrate on anything. I wanted to think of what was going on, I wanted to know where I was, but my mind wandered and was sleepy. It felt almost as if I had been given a sedative, I was high and loopy.

I wasn't quite sure what was happening or why, and I stayed in the hazy sate of ignorance for I don't know how long. It seemed to be years and minutes all at the same time. But after some time had passed my vision and hearing seemed to be getting clearer, the sound came first and the noises were getting louder and more distinguishable.

I heard voices, in British accents, I thought this strange as my thoughts also became clearer, I knew I wasn't British.

More time passed as my senses began returning to their prior clarity. I heard the commotion continuing, men and women frantically scampering about, yelling to one another about potions and antidotes, using medical jargon I couldn't understand. I knew what they where doing was important but I couldn't remember why. Then I heard the commotion recede and a calm take over the room.

"She's stabilizing" I heard. I felt this was a good thing, I wondered who she was?

After a while I heard one group of women and men leave as another group moved into the room. Whoever they were I was glad they were here, but then I felt my heart drop as I realized they were crying; crying for the woman in the room. My sight became clearer and I saw who was there, I knew these people, I was sure I did, but I seemed unable to place them.

I felt something for all of them, especially the man with the black hair. He looked so sullen and pale, his grey eyes were bloodshot and he was looking at the woman in the bed as if silently pleading with her to wake up.

Another woman was there too; she had the same black hair, and was looking just as torn up as the man. Her body was strewn across the woman in the bed, and she was sobbing loudly into her chest. My heart ached for her and I felt a need to comfort her rising up stronger than the hazy feeling that was telling me to sleep. They all looked so familiar and as my mind began to unfog I realized who they where… who she was.

* * *

She was me, Colleen, and I was there looking half dead, with a bubble head charm around my face in the bed of a hospital which I assumed to be Saint Mungo's. And the people in the room with me were my friends; the only family I had left and they were crying and hurt.

The sullen man was Sirius and the woman lying across me was Jen. The others where in the room as well, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Charlie all looking equally as helpless and scared.

But if I was in the bed dying, how was I looking at myself from across the room? I used my new sight to look down; I was a slightly transparent version of myself, wearing the same clothes I had on earlier that day. I couldn't feel anything, not the pain I knew I should be feeling, the pain my body was feeling; I looked at myself sleeping in the bed and it was not a peaceful sleep, I was anguished.

What the hell was happening? I asked myself frantically. I knew I wasn't dead, not yet.

Was this Limbo? Was I dying? Maybe I was dead, perhaps my soul was ready to move on but my body was forced to hold on due to the charms.

NO! I screamed although no one heard me, well maybe God. I was not ready to die; I was twenty fucking six years old. I should be thinking of my career, my wedding and popping out a few babies and such, not lying in a hospital bed as my body shut down. That was for old people, not me.

I wracked my brain trying desperately to remember what had occurred and how I had ended up in this state. My mind traveled back on the events of the previous day, or at least what I thought was the previous day; I wasn't quite sure how long I had been there. I recalled breakfast with Sirius, and our engagement announcements in the papers. I remembered him leaving for work and me having lunch with Luna, talking about a reporting job; I knew I made it home after that.

But what the hell had happened to land me in the hospital? I knew there was a note from Sirius and a box of Godiva.

And there it was… Grace Pearson, that stupid fucking bitch had poisoned my chocolate, that's why I was here, that's why everyone I knew was so miserable. So help me God, once I woke up and had my body back again, I was going to kick the living shit out of her.

* * *

But that was the dilemma, how to get me back into…well me. I realized that no one saw my ghostly form, they were more than focused on my body lying helplessly in the bed. There was no way they were going to be of any help. It looked like it was just me, myself and I; I just hoped that would be good enough.

I tried the most obvious thing and the only thing I could think to do. Going over to myself and laying down on top of my body, trying to just plop back in and fuse myself back together. Unfortunately that didn't work and I was just my semi invisible self, lying in my body looking up at the ceiling. Hmm, maybe this was like Peter Pan and I would have to sew myself together. A nice thought but I doubted it.

I got back up and started watching everyone as I floated around them trying to think of how to remedy this situation. Everyone seemed to be in a loss for words, they just stared at me, and some stared at Sirius and some at Jen, no doubt feeling quite sorry for the two of them. Hell, even I felt sorry for them and I was the dying one.

Harry was the first one to speak in a long time "I can't stand just sitting her watching, I have to find out who did this. Come on Ron let's get this bastard." He said standing up.

"It has to fucking be Zabini, or his bitch mother. She's killed all of her husband's and half of them were poisoned. Plus, we just had that fight with them." Sirius told Harry.

'No Sirius, it was Grace, not Zabini, all though now that I think about Druella could have been involved, she was a master with poison, wasn't she?' I said, frustrated that they didn't hear.

Harry shook his head "They are our main suspects, we'll go ask around. See if anyone has knows anything." Hermione agreed with them. "Now that we know she was poisoned with blue ringed octopus venom, I can look and see if anyone has ordered that recently."

The golden Trio hugged me and left the room. They always were the go getters of this outfit.

I thought about what Hermione had said "Blue ringed octopus? Where the fuck did Grace find that?" I knew only a little about that type of poison, but enough to know there was no antidote, muggle nor magical. The venom would just have to work its way out of my system, if it would.

It was completely frustrating to be sitting in the room with everyone, knowing exactly who poisoned me and not be able to say anything. I now know how Sirius must have felt for years, the frustrations of being with the living, but not really with them. But unlike him, I wasn't dead, so why was I stuck outside of my body?

* * *

Ginny was trying to comfort Sirius, patting him on the shoulder, telling him I would be okay, and Charlie was rubbing Jen's back trying to calm her down. I had to go and ruin their honeymoon, didn't I? I was a crappy friend. I walked over to her and tried to pet her hair although my hand pretty much went right through her.

"Jen, don't cry, I'll be fine, give it a few day then I'll be on the hunt for enemy number one." I assured her even though she couldn't hear me; maybe I was assuring myself as well.

She picked herself up off my chest and looked to everyone in the room and for a moment I felt sure she had heard me. "She'll be fine, I know it." Jen said this with such conviction that I was forced to believe her. "I hope so Jen" Sirius said as he laid his face in his hands.

"Shit Sirius, don't cry. I'll be okay, I promise." I ran over to him and said, as I unsuccessfully tried grab his hands. I could stand everyone's tears but his; he was the one who was supposed to hold it together.

The only thing I knew to do was antagonize him. "Sirius don't be such a pussy" I practically yelled, and he must have heard in some way because he stood up and punched a hole in the wall next to my bed. "When I find out who did this to her, I am going to fucking kill them!" he roared and punched the wall again making a bigger hole.

Well, at least he had stopped the tears.

The whole room stared at him as if not knowing what to say or do to calm him down. "Fuck, I just don't know what to do." He said miserably looking down at my body. "If she dies…I just, I'll kill myself, I'll fucking kill myself." He yelled as he ran his hands through his hair with a half insane look in his eye. I imagined this is the look everyone saw when he was after Pettigrew.

I had never seen him so worked up before and I was worried that he would kill himself if I died; however stupid an idea that was. Sirius rarely thought things through before he did them, so I decided right then and there, that I would not die.

I didn't have the time for death, I was getting married in a couple months; I had a wedding to plan. I had people that needed me and I was certainly not going to waste all that energy on bringing Sirius back from the dead, only to die when I finally secured him as my fiancé. Hell no, it was not happening.

One of the mediwitches came in and repaired the wall and gave Sirius a calming draught. It seemed to work fairly well and he sat back down and looked a little less stressed. She then went about checking my vitals and recasting the bubblehead charm on me. She also strengthened the charm that was keeping my heart beating. Then turning to Ginny who was the most composed out of all of them said "She seems to be getting stronger; her breathing is more easily and her heartbeat's beginning to regulate."

There was a collective sigh of relief from the room. The witch left soon after and Ginny spoke "I knew she would be okay, it's Colleen; she's not going to let a little poison finish her off, not after everything she's been through." The rest of them shook their heads in agreement. 'Thank you Ginny for showing a little confidence in me' I thought out loud glaring at the others. They knew me, why were they so convinced that I would die?

"Listen, I'm going to tell Harry the good news, you guys should go home and get some sleep for a while since she's doing better, it's 4 in the morning and it's been a really stressful day." Jen agreed to go after some extra coaxing from Charlie, and assurance that she would be notified of any changes, but Sirius refused to leave my side. "I'll sleep here; I don't want her to be alone if she wakes up." He said.

Ginny, Charlie and Jen all hugged Sirius and I goodbye before leaving.

* * *

After they were gone Sirius took my hands in his. "Do you have any idea what you are doing to me Darling?" he said choking back a sob. He was going to start this again? How it was possible for my stomach to wrench when I technically didn't have one I'll never know, but it did.

"When I walked into the house and found you unconscious on the floor; it was like James and Lily all over again." He laid his head on my stomach still holding my hands. I was wondering who had found me, and I was sincerely hoping it hadn't been him for that exact reason.

It broke my heart to see him like that, he was always composed, laughing or angry, and I was comfortable with those emotions from him. I didn't know how to handle him upset, and it was worse having to watch, knowing I was the cause for his pain and not being able to do anything to relieve it.

He fell asleep in that position and I watched him, trying to touch him, trying to wake myself up, trying to do anything really. Why couldn't he see me? I could see him when he was dead, and I wasn't even dead yet, he should be able to see me. But no matter how hard I tried to wake him or gain his attention in any way he did not acknowledge my presence. I spent the next few hours attempting to figure out a way to put myself back together.

Sirius woke up when a mediwizard came into deliver him some breakfast and then re-charm me. "She made it through the night; that was the most critical time" the wizard explained to Sirius "That's a very good sign. Her vitals are the same as last night, but they haven't weakened, so that's good" he continued as he checked me all over. Sirius looked immensly relieved.

"Thanks, mate" Sirius told the man as he left to check on his other patients. "You should, eat" the wizard replied pointing to Sirius' breakfast tray before exiting.

"He's right Sirius, you have to eat something" I said to him though I knew he couldn't hear. Luckily he seemed to know this was sound advice and began eating. He talked to me throughout his breakfast.

"I wonder if you can hear me?" he questioned me. "Yes" I replied. I wasn't just going to sit here while I was unconscious, how boring. So it would be a one sided conversation, I could live with that.

"I can't believe you got yourself into this situation" he stated. Like I did it on purpose; it was Grace and my love of chocolate that got me into this mess. Oh and him, he was the one who broke up with her, wasn't he.

He just stared for a while, looking at me with an expression that I was not able to read. "Will you just wake the bloody hell up darling, you're being rather dramatic don't you think?" He said getting annoyed at my unresponsiveness I supposed. Perhaps he thought I would wake up and yell back or contradict him in some way.

"Blue ringed octopus venom; you act like that's a deadly poison or something." He scoffed and rolled his eyes at me. I had to laugh at him, and was glad he was trying to keep the talk positive.

"I'm getting rather horny you know, you have been lying there for over 12 hours and it had been like 12 hours before that" he counted on his fingers. "That's 24 bloody hours of pent up sexual frustration! I suppose I could take you right now, as long as no one walked in" He laughed as if amused by his own thoughts.

24 hours was not such a long time, he'd gone much longer, and somehow I thought being unconscious wouldn't make me a very giving partner. He wouldn't dare, would he? Isn't that considered rape, I actually wouldn't care but I think he might be in trouble if he were caught.

"I would, but I bet you'd be rather angry when you woke up" he sighed "I guess it's just me and my hand today, I really thought we had moved passed this." He said looking down at me shaking his head as he got up to go to the bathroom and I assume jack off.

* * *

Hmm, a thought crossed my mind and the voyeur in me took over. I could always spy on him; it might be kind of hot to watch him go at it. Was this wrong? My conscious asked me; no I answered it quickly and defensively. He had peaked on me in all sorts of states while he was a ghost, why shouldn't I do the same. The decision was made.

I followed him into the bathroom, gliding through the closed door; that was a weird experience. It felt like I was walking through J-ello. I found Sirius in the bathroom unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out. He was hard and throbbing by the time grabbed the lotion off the sink to lubricate his hand.

I wondered what he was thinking of to get himself off, and I selfishly hoped it was me. The moment Sirius touched himself his whole body tensed; and he sighed. He was quite rough, much rougher than he was with me. Bracing himself against the wall, he pumped his hand up and down his length quickly; I laughed at the thought of the medical staff walking in on this scene.

I watched his face more closely than I had when we were shagging together, it was erotic staring directly at him as he was wanking. All the little shudders and muscle movements I had never paid attention too, seemed very important now. Taking in his movements, I stored them in my memory so I could do the same to him when I woke up. I longed to really be with him, it was fine to watch but nothing compared to touching him, smelling him, tasting him.

I watched him and fantasized that it was my hand around him and he was touching me in my most intimate spots.

I really needed to get back into my body. It was very frustrating to be completely mentally turned on but not have a body to react in the same way.

After a few minutes of stroking, his breathing became hard and labored and the hand he had placed on the wall was tightened into a fist. He sped up his movements, throwing his head back as he came, groaning and biting his lip.

I watched as he opened his eyes and began to clean himself up, after washing his hands he zipped his pants up and went to sit beside my bed. He leaned in as close to my ear as he could get with the bubblehead charm in his way.

I crouched down by my ear as well to make sure I heard. "Well McAvoy, you've lowered me to wanking in a hospital bathroom, I hope you're pleased with yourself." He whispered. I laughed at him.

"God, I wish you would wake up, I told you before thinking about you shagging me and actually shgging me are quite different" He said as he said as he sat back.

I had always thought that light bulb going off above your head was just an exaggeration, but I swear it really happened.

Wait a minute; I thought to myself…my wishes come true. If I wish it and someone else wishes it at the same time, it happens. Maybe this could work. Maybe this is what I needed to put everything right again.

"I wish I would wake up" I said aloud and determinedly. The next thing I heard was the thunder I had been praying for and I felt myself being whooshed away.

**Thanks for reading and please review! **


	29. Pain and Pondering

**Hey everyone gracias for reading and reviewing (It's Cinco De Mayo tomorrow, hence my Spanish word). Enjoy! **

**Pain and Pondering **

The next thing I knew my eyes were popping open and I was staring at the ceiling. My eyes squinted as they adjusted to the harsh light of the hospital, but at least everything was starting to come into focus. I felt an intense pain in my body that I couldn't pin point the location of; it seemed to come from everywhere. It wasn't as bad as a cruciatus curse, but it was definitely not pleasant. I assumed by the pain that my wish had worked and my body and spirit where one being again, but I tried to move my arm to make sure.

I concentrated on moving my hand, praying it worked. It complied with my brain; My arm worked. Yes! I thought happily. 'I'm not dead.'

I whipped my head over to find Sirius, who was sitting in the chair beside my bed slouched over with his eyes closed. He was snoring slightly and his sleep looked less than peaceful. I saw that he was wearing dark jeans and a black button down shirt, not what I remembered him wearing. When I was floating around, I was sure he still had on his work clothes. I wonder how long it to me to reunite with myself? I thought back to Sirius' return- he had lost a whole two weeks- how long had I been gone?

I reached over and grabbed his arm to let him know I was awake. "Sirius" I said, finding that it was painful to speak and my voice came out as a whisper. He woke up with a start when I when my fingers brushed his wrist and his eyes locked with mine. He closed them and opened them again, as if assessing whether he was dreaming or not and when he realized I was truly awake a look of relief and washed over him and the tension in his muscles was released.

"Darling!" he practically threw himself on top of me, burying his face in my neck, kissing every exposed inch of skin he could find. The stubble on his unshaven face was scratching the delicate skin on my neck and chest, creating that burning sensation I loved. I was comforted by the contact of his lips on my skin. I hadn't wanted to admit it to myself, but I had been honestly worried I would never have that feeling again.

"Ow" I winced when he was a little rougher than was comfortable. My body was still incredibly sore and although I craved the touch, I wasn't quite ready for it.

He flew back. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? How do you feel? Oh god darling I thought you would never wake up. I have never been so bloody fucking scared in my fucking life!" He spit out without taking a break in between. I knew he really had been worried and that made me even more thankful, that I had woken up. It would have been terribly cruel of me to bring him back to life only to die on him not even a year later.

"I'm okay" I croaked trying to smile and reassure him. He shook his head, but furrowed his brow and ran his hand over mine. "Are you sure?"

"Well, I mean I've been poisoned and I'm in terrible pain, but other than that I'm just peachy" I said smiling sarcastically. I don't think he was in the right state of mind to appreciate my sarcasm. "Let me go get the healer, they'll give you something for the pain." Sirius said before running out of the room to alert the healer.

* * *

He came back a few moments later with half the damn hospital as well as Jen and Ginny. They both let out a sob of happiness when they saw me awake. "I'm fine girls, don't cry" I told them, but they continued with the waterworks and I rolled my eyes at them but smiled just the same.

At that point I was overtaken with healers and medistaff, poking and prodding, pouring potions down my throat, as well as asking all sorts of questions. I was so exhausted and my body was feeling like I had just been through a war, but I tried to stay awake and comply with them.

After the healers had left, the wizarding police, with Hermione in the lead, came in to ask me what I remembered about what had happened. I had been so happy to be awake and alive I had forgotten my revenge plot. Hermione ran up and hugged me while attempting to remain professional by trying not to burst into tears.

"Oh, I'm so happy you are alright!" she exclaimed still clinging to me. "Who did this to you? Do you remember at all?" Typical Hermione, getting right down to business.

"It was Zabini, wasn't it?" Sirius interrupted me before I could answer the question.

'No' I thought. That would look really bad if 2 of my ex's had tried to kill me. Ha, it wasn't my ex but his. Well, my ex's mother might have something to do with it, but I had no proof of that yet.

"No," I told Hermione. "It was Grace Pearson, Sirius' ex girlfriend." I looked at Sirius whose face had gone white and rigid. Jen had an equally furious look upon her face.

"I'm going to fucking kill her." She and Sirius both said simultaneously and with venom, which made me laugh. They both made to get up from where they were sitting on my bed, when Ginny grabbed both of their shoulders and forced them down. Thank god for that ridiculous mom strength ay? "Calm down, the police will get her, won't they Hermione?" She assured them. "Colleen, does not need you two ending up in Azkaban as she recovers."

Hermione agreed with Ginny "She's right, I'll make sure we get her and punish her accordingly" Everyone looked slightly flabbergasted by the fact that it had been Grace. I think she had probably not crossed anyone's mind in months, well unless they paid much attention to Witch Weekly.

I just let them work this out between themselves; I was much too tired and sore to argue. As long as someone took care of that bitch I didn't care who did it, well ideally it would be me but, killers can't be choosers, right?

"She just came here yesterday! She said she wanted to see how you were doing! Thank Merlin, I didn't leave you alone with her, or she would have probably tried to finish you off." Ginny exclaimed. She looked upset that she had even let Grace within 20 feet of me.

"Ginny, it's alright you didn't know." I tried to comfort her in my practically non existent voice. "She is very sneaky though isn't she" I mused. That bitch, it was probably just like in Kill Bill, she kind of looked like Daryl Hannah, well minus the eye patch; I can imagine her doing the whistle and everything.

Sirius looked at me "I'm so sorry darling, this is entirely my fault. I never thought she would do something like this." He said apologizing.

"It's fine Sirius, it's not your fault; I doubt anyone would have suspected her. Hey and she did tell me to watch my back, so it's not as if I didn't get fair warning." I told him.

"What the fuck Colleen, I don't think "watch your back bitch" counts as fair warning" Jen said grimacing. I laughed at her recalling Grace's words. "Well" I just shrugged. "I'll bring her in, Colleen." Hermione assured me again before leaving to just that, as well as notifying Harry and Ron.

"So how long have I been here?" I asked. I decided not to tell them about my out of body experience just yet. "As of today you have been here one week." Jen replied. One week? What they hell was I doing that whole time? "I've been asleep for a whole week?" I asked slightly confused. "Yeah, and I must say it was the most miserable week of my entire life." Sirius said. "I second that." Jen replied. "Yeah, it was pretty bad for all of us." Ginny admitted.

"Well, I guess blue ringed octopus venom will do that to you." I said before realizing I had not meant to tell them anything about the ghostly shit yet. They all looked curious and confused. "How did you know that?" Ginny questioned.

I sighed; I supposed I might as well tell them, now that I had slipped up anyways. I would make a terrible spy.

* * *

"Well" I began to explain "there was about 8 hours where, I guess like my spirit, was just chillin' in the room, floating around and watching everybody, including my half dead body." I added.

"What the fuck! Are you for real?" Jen asked. "That's like what my mom said when she had hepatitis. I thought she was just being crazy."

I laughed as I remembered that. Jen's mom always swore she had out of body experiences when she almost died of hepatitis. It wasn't so much that I didn't believe in the possibility of that happening, it was more that her mom was a saucer and would always tell these crazy stories that you knew weren't true.

"I know right, It was really weird and frustrating, cause you were all worried and crying, and so sure Blaise poisoned me when I knew it was Grace." I said. "and I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to sit there and watch."

"So what happened, how are you all in one piece again?" Sirius asked me.

"Well, luckily after an agonizing amount of time, you wished aloud that I would wake up." I explained to him. "I also wished that I would wake up, cause I knew that my wishes have the tendency to come true. I heard the thunder I always hear and then I woke up today."

They all seemed fairly surprised by this occurrence, which I didn't see why, two of them had been on the receiving end of those wishes. "Why the time gap? What were you doing for the 6 days you weren't conscious." Jen asked.

"Well as I was unconscious, I don't know" I smirked. "I guess it was just like when Sirius came back, there was that 2 week gap between the wish and his arrival."

Ginny pondered for a moment "But I went into labor right as you made the wish."

I thought that was strange at first too, but I decided that bringing someone into life when they where ready for life was easier than bringing people back who were dead for all points and purposes.

"Ginny, Lily was ready to be born, there was nothing really supernatural about her arrival, it was meant to happen anyways; I just gave it a little push. So I am assuming, not as much magic went into that as it did bringing me and Sirius back." I explained my theory to her.

"That makes sense, the further away from life you are the longer it takes to get back." Sirius agreed with my reasoning.

"How the hell did you get the power to bring people back from the edge of death?" Jen questioned. "You should start charging people for your services."

I laughed at her, as we had grown up completely broke, our minds both tended to wander into obscure moneymaking schemes, even though we had no need anymore.

"Nah, I think I really have to want it, as well as the other person. I wonder if these wishes only work in with 'life' issues." I said to her. I had been wondering that ever since the baby had been born. With Sirius, I kind of just thought it was a fluke, but the more these things began to happen, the more I became curious as to what I could really do.

"We should really look into these powers of yours. Maybe other late bloomers have had similar experiences." Ginny offered "I'm sure Hermione would love to research it for you."

I agreed with her completely, I don't know why I hadn't looked into it before. I know when I had first became a witch, it was explained to me about late bloomers and the powerful magic they possessed, but no one ever told me what magic exactly. And as Wuther was my main source of information, I wondered now if I had been lied to. Because he was working for Bolvechek, would he have known things about me that even I didn't know? Is that why Bolvechek wanted me so badly?

I know I hadn't looked much up, because pretty much as soon as I could use magic I was involved in a war, and after I was really just trying to fit in as much as possible into the wizarding world. But now I had the time to find out who I was. I was definitely going to be hitting the books during my recovery process.

**Review please? **


	30. Shawshank the Magic Dragon

**Thanks for reading! I own nothing. **

**Shawshank the Magic Dragon of the Caribbean**.

4 days after I had awoken, the healers had finally deemed me well enough to go home. It had been a long and extremely boring four days and I was more than ready to never set foot inn Saint Mungo's again.

Even though I had lots of visitors, Ginny even brought her and Hermione's kids one day. They had only come once because James got really upset at seeing me looking so sick and pale with a bubblehead charm over my head. I assured him I would be just fine and told him not to worry about me. Apparently Ginny had just told him I gotten sick when I accidently ate some old chocolates and he had thus swore off the food forever.

Teddy had also came to see me every day for about an hour, we felt he was old enough to know the truth about the poisoning but made him promise not to tell the kids what really happened. It's not like he wouldn't have found out anyway, it was all over the News. Still, after the 2nd day I was ready to go home to my own bed.

Try staying at a hospital with no TV sometime, pure torture it was. I think Sirius and Jen felt exactly the same way, as they had been the two who had been spending the most time with me. At first the staff at Saint Mungo's had wanted me to stay for 3 days longer, a full week, but I convinced them- by throwing a fit- that I was ready and perfectly fine to go home.

Sirius was packing my things for me when an ancient mediwitch with frizzy grey hair came in to give me my instructions for recovering at home.

"Okay" she told me and Sirius "remember to take this potion twice a day" as she handed me a blue bottle which I passed off to Sirius and nodded making a mental note of what she said. I didn't bother to ask what it was for, I'm sure it was important, so I didn't worry about it.

"And this salve is to be rubbed on your arms and legs daily to stimulate blood flow to your heart." She said and handed me a green jar with some gooey shit inside. I looked at it and really dreaded having to put it on. Sirius grabbed the jar "I'll take care of the rubbing down for you Darling" He winked at me. I flushed slightly embarrassed at his sexual innuendo in front of the witch.

"Oh, yes that reminds me" she said making note of Sirius' comment. "No strenuous activities for 3 weeks; that includes sexual intercourse. You need not to get your blood pressure up until your heart is stronger." As is I wasn't embarrassed enough, she had to mention sex. It was like your grandmother saying sexual intercourse, unnatural and definitely cringe worthy.

I looked at Sirius who did not appear at all pleased with this rule prohibiting shagging. "3 weeks?" he asked the witch incredulously. I glared at him letting him know to shut up. I was really not comfortable with this situation, at all. "Yes, at least" the woman said sternly with pursed lips.

I could just here her saying 'young people today' in her head. "Her body has just been through a trauma, no strenuous activity of any kind is permitted." She said again more forcefully.

"But what if I'm really gen…" he started but I stopped him with a "Sirius, shut up!" and a death glare. Luckily after almost a year of him being "alive" he still recognized the looks I gave him before anyone else knew about him. He looked miffed by my actions. "Fine, fine" he responded holding his hands up in surrender. He was such a guy, I swear.

* * *

We had to take a muggle taxi to my house because I was not strong enough to apparate or floo, apparently most magic was also included in the definition of strenuous activities, and I certainly couldn't ride on the back of Sirius' motorcycle, although he had suggested it.

As soon as I got home I undressed, got into my pajamas and went to lie down in my own bed. I flopped down onto the comfy down mattress and relaxed for the first time in almost a week. Sirius came up after paying the taxi driver and dragging my things into the house.

I was looking at the Daily Prophet which the owl had been bringing while I was gone. Every headline was all about me being poisoned and how Grace, the main suspect, was at large. Yes at large, the bitch had somehow got wind that I had woken up or left as soon as she realized I wasn't going to die. Luckily, James and the other kids couldn't read well enough to make out the headlines, they would really be scarred then.

Harry and Ron were heading up the Aurors team looking for her and Hermione was in charge of the wizarding police who were on the case. I was confident she would be found, but I still just wished they would have gotten her right away. Or better still, I wished I was strong enough to go get her myself and then tear her limb from limb. Maybe they would let me do the interrogation, once she was found.

"I can't believe we can't shag for a whole week." Sirius exasperatedly said as he entered my room and fell down next to me. I knew what he was playing at. "3 weeks Sirius, 3 weeks" I reminded him patting him on the head.

"Damn I was hoping you were still doped up enough on painkillers to forget the actual time limit." He admitted.

"Nice try, black." I told him.

3 weeks was actually a ridiculously long time. After that bathroom scene last week I had really wanted him, and my lust was never satisfied.

"What am I going to do for 3 weeks?" he exclaimed.

" Oh, I don't know there's always you hand; that seems to work pretty well for `you." I replied. He gave me a sharp look.

"No, it really doesn't darling, nothing like the real thing"

I suppose this time was as good as any to tell him about my voyeuristic activities. I had to tell him, I would feel like a stalker if I didn't.

"Whatever Sirius; I saw you in the hospital bathroom while I was floating around. It looked like you were enjoying yourself thoroughly." His mouth dropped open in surprise. "What! You were spying on me. The deception!" he exclaimed feigning anger. I simply raised one eyebrow to him and cocked my head shrugging. "Oh, Please Sirius." I said.

"You little pervert! Here throughout our whole life together I was supposed to be the smarmy one, I was the spy, but it's you darling, it's you." He laughed. I knew he would be more amused than anything.

"I could hardly help myself." I explained. "You practically told me what you were going to do, and you have no idea how bored I was." I defended my actions. I was not smarmy damn it…okay, maybe just a little.

He squinted his eyes looking at me incredulously. "Mmhmm, sure darling. So you liked what you saw eh?" He said pervertedly before climbing on top of me and bringing his lips to my own. "Of course" I said smiling seductively, still pressed up against his mouth.

He was being careful not to put all his weight on me but still I was pinned beneath his heavy frame. When he began kissing me again, his tongue flicking mine, his hands getting tangled up in my hair, I could feel my intense desire for him beginning to build up in between my thighs. It had been much too long. I was dizzy with the scent and taste of him and longed for him to just take me, despite the rules. If I died like this I would die a happy woman.

I threw my head back allowing him to move his lips down to my neck and collarbone and he sucked and lightly bit my skin.

I moved my hands from his hair to his back pulling him in closer to me enjoying the sensation of his bare chest pressing down on my breasts. He pulled himself up to me and captured my lips in another searing kiss.

He was not being so gentle now; I figured the moment had temporarily made him forget my current state. We were kissing ferociously; it had been the first time we kissed since I had been in the hospital. My face had been enclosed in a bubble.

My mouth was pressed hard against his, my tongue dancing with his. He bit my bottom lip sensually and I thought I could taste the salty metallic drop of blood but it was quickly forgotten as Sirius slid his hand down the camisole I slept in and began teasing my nipple, making me whimper into his mouth and grind my hips into his. He moaned softly and he let his hips grind back into mine.

His erection was quickly growing in his boxers and then the remembrance of the rule came rushing back. "No sexual intercourse for 3 weeks" the old witch's' voice said in my memory.

"Son of a bitch" I said out loud. "Sirius, we have to stop. Remember what the mediwitch said.

He slumped, defeated at the memory. "I hate her." He said as he rolled off of me and I laughed at his pouting face. "I know, but 3 weeks isn't really that long." I reminded him. 'Like hell it wasn't' I thought to myself. There was no way we were going to last three weeks; we had barely been okay for 3 hours.

"I have to take a shower, are you going to watch this time?" he asked with a lopsided smile as he got up and started making his way to my bathroom. "Nah, I'll just wait here I think. I'll wait for you before I put a movie in." I told him.

"What are we watching?" he asked me suspiciously. "Pirates of the Caribbean." I responded. I loved that movie, nothing like Johnny Depp in eyeliner to make me feel better. Sirius stared me down for a moment. "That's nothing like 'Titanic' is it?"

I laughed at him; he really did hate 'Titanic' although I couldn't see why. "No, No" I assured him "This movie is about a working class guy who falls in love with this rich girl but she's getting engaged to this other rich guy. But then she gets kidnapped by pirates and they're on this ship and the poor guy has to save her and stop the ship from sinking or falling into the wrong hands." I explained.

"That sounds suspiciously similar to Titanic, Darling." He told me before going into the bathroom. Damn, I guess it did, I never realized how the movies paralleled.

* * *

Sirius exited the bathroom in only a towel about 20 minutes later, that bastard. He had finished himself off in the shower and I had to sit here dealing with unbelievable sexual frustration, because I couldn't overexert myself due to HIS ex poisoning me? Not fair. I glared at him as he dropped the towel and began rummaging through his things to find clothes.

"You are doing that on purpose you son of a bitch" I told him trying to scowl, but I'm sure my face conveyed nothing but lust and desire.

"I have no idea what your talking about darling." He stated turning to me so I had a clear shot of his cock. "You're such a tease Black!" I yelled throwing a pillow at his face, which unfortunately he caught.

He laughed at me "Now, come on 3 weeks isn't really that long" he mimicked what I had said earlier as he pulled on a pair of red boxers. We'll see how long it is if I restrict his self love. "I forbid you to jack off, for 3 weeks." I told him, if I couldn't get any neither could he, damn it. "You cannot forbid me, Colleen." He said very seriously, I knew because he used my name.

"Can't I?" I replied daring him to argue.

"How are you planning on monitoring me, then?" He questioned me and rolled his eyes.

"I have my ways" I assured him and he huffed, defeated, he was so easy sometimes. At that moment I knew I was just a little bit spoilt, the guy would literally agree to anything I said, to make me happy. "Fine, but you owe me big when this is all over." He told me glaring. I agreed and then turned on the movie as he sat down on the bed next to me.

Sirius was enjoying 'Pirates' much more than he did Titanic. "much more action" he told me, but he was confused by one thing. "Why the bloody hell are they keeping all that treasure in a cave, anyway? Didn't you muggles have banks? Or they could have at least gotten a dragon to guard it. Who leaves there treasure for the world to find?"

"Sirius, they are Pirates, outlaws, they can't just stroll into Gringott's and make a deposit; they have to be sneaky. Besides you know how I feel about using Dragon's as guards. They are inhumane to those poor things." I said.

He scoffed at me. "This from the girl who was going to kill a Hungarian Horntail with her bare hands just because it maimed her friend. What the hell else would Dragons be doing with there time?" Sirius questioned.

"Piss off Sirius, Dragons should be living by the sea, frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Not blinded and trapped under the bank." I told him referencing my favorite dragon, Puff.

"Where the hell is Honah Lee?" he asked but I just told him never mind and watch the movie. There would be no comprehending what I had just said unless one had grown up watching said dragon. "I don't think we can get married if you don't know where Honah Lee is, it's like you don't know me at all." I told him playfully.

After finishing Pirates I decided we should watch the "Shawshank Redemption'. I knew Sirius would appreciate a movie where a guy was wrongly accused of a murder then unfairly imprisoned before breaking out.

We got to the best part of the movie in my opinion, where Andy crawls through the sewage pipes and gains his freedom. "See Sirius, all you had to do was transform into a dog and go for a swim, this guy had to spend years digging himself out and then crawling through a tank of shit to be free." I told him playfully.

"You're so bloody funny aren't you?" he asked me amused. "I didn't see any Dementors flying around Shawshank, so I think I had it worse."

I knew we were getting into dangerous ground with the Azkaban/Dementor talk, but he had to talk about it sometime right? "You are such a baby Sirius; you act like Dementors are some dark creature trying to suck out your soul, or something." I added playfully. He smiled at me and shook his head.

"You know darling, you are the only person that will dare to mention anything regarding Azkaban in my presence." He told me seriously. This was the truth and I knew it. Everyone else skated on extremely thin ice around that subject; I just plunged straight into the frigid water.

It was the psychologist in me, I wanted to get to the bottom of things; I wanted to know how he really felt about it. Hey, I was marrying the guy; I have the right to question him and I _should_ know more about him than anyone else.

"I'm a shit starter, what can I say?" I told him.

"No, you're just curious like everyone else, you just have the balls to ask me." he replied.

"Well, no one else wants to get on your bad side. Your mood swings are legendary, worse than Ginny's when she was pregnant" I reminded him.

"And you don't care if your on my bad side?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. I didn't; people don't realize that I grew up dealing with Jen, whose mood swing and bad moods are just as bad a Sirius'. I knew how to deal with these situations like a pro.

"No, you snap out of your moods easy, just like Jen. All I have to do is tell you two your being douchebags and you're back to normal." I told him my method.

"I guess your right. But I don't like talking about Azkaban, just to let you know." He said.

"I know that, but it doesn't mean I'm going to stop asking about it." I replied, I was nosy and had a need to fix problems. "I know. Bothering me is one of your more endearing qualities. It might be the reason I'm marrying you." He told me before kissing my forehead. "And here I thought it was because I was good in bed." I laughed.

"That too." He responded. "I can't believe we can't shag for 3 weeks!"

* * *

**Okay guys, don't kill me for letting Grace get away. Don't worry I have a plan for her. Other than that I hope you liked the chapter and please review, it makes me happy. **


	31. A History w Lust

**So sorry for the lack of updates, it's been two months, but life got in the way. However, I assure you I will finish this story and as a gift to those of you who haven't forgotten me, I give you a nice smutty chapter! Edited 6/12**

**A History Lesson w/ Lust**

Needless to say the next three weeks drug on very slowly. They mostly consisted of Sirius going to work and me being stuck in my house researching my "gifts" (how exciting, I know). I mean the life stories of most of the late bloomers I had found ended shortly and abruptly in a murder of some kind.

There is nothing like trying to get over your own near death experience by reading about others actual death experience. The stories were really doing nothing to help my nerves.

As far as I could tell, none of the late bloomers had the same powers, they all had extra gifts that "normal witches" didn't, but there was no telling what that power would be. Wandless magic, healing, talking to animals, mind reading etc. all pretty cool stuff, but of course some of them used these gifts for evil.

"Godiva De Lacy, b. 1432 d. 1560, a late in life witch, Creator of both the killing and cruciatus curse" (Another deadly Godiva, interesting no?) Actually she invented probably half the spells we use today, Invention was her gift, but she decided it was way cooler to rule France than sit in a house and create spells.

So De Lacy raised an army in 1558 in a failed attempt to take bring the French ministry of Magic under her control. She was finally defeated by 15 highly experienced hit wizards from around the world but "There has yet to be found a counter curse for her creations." I'm quoting from the text I was reading. And this bitch wasn't even the most powerful of the late bloomers.

But there were more good witches than bad ones, fortunately. Example A: Cristobel Rodriguez a Mexican witch born in 1771. She could control the Elements and weather. So when there was a drought, she made it rain, when there was a hurricane she calmed it and she saved thousands of lives by doing this.

So her life was awesome, until Pedro Martinez decided he wanted her to marry him and when she refused him, she was a lesbian; he used De Lacy's lovely little creation and murdered Ms. Rodriguez.

Proving once again that love makes you crazy, Grace Pearson anyone?

All in all there have only been about 30 late bloomers in all of recorded wizardry, and there hadn't been one for 200 hundred years until I came along. Cristobel was the last before me, and I still wasn't quite sure what my power was. I could either grant wishes or bring people back from the dead. I thought both of these were very acceptable gifts to have, but I still had to figure out how to control them.

It was strange to think that one day someone would be reading about me in one of these books. I wondered at the picture it would paint. Would it show me as I believe I am? A generally good and caring person, or would I be forever viewed as an unstable murderess. I suppose I was both really, and I think to have an accurate overview of my life both sides would have to be represented.

* * *

As I was pondering this, Sirius apparated into the study where I was sitting, pouring over the books. I looked at the clock it was 5, Damn I had been in there for 3 hours.

Sirius walked closer and read over my shoulder about De Lacy.

" I didn't know a late bloomer created the Avada Kedavra." He said.

"Yeah, most of them did really interesting things." I told him about Cristobel and the other women I had read about.

" Does it say anything about how or why you became late bloomers?" he asked.

This was a question that had been bothering me and I had no more of an answer than he did. Nowhere did it say anything about it. One book said the cause was unknown and the others didn't even touch on the subject.

"Nope" I told Sirius, shrugging "I'm just a freak of nature." He laughed and threw an arm around my shoulder.

"I like freaks, darling" he said with a slight squeeze.

"That's good. Oh hey speaking of freaks, has there been anything new about Grace?" I asked him remembering my attempted murderer.

Sirius was an Auror after all, he would be the first to know.

"Still no sign her, it's like she disappeared into thin air." He told me frustratedly.

This led me to believe she must have been working on her poisoning plot with others people. It was a conspiracy! It was like the fucking Kennedy's and Marilyn.

I know that girl wasn't smart enough to try to murder me and then successfully hide from every Auror and wizarding police officer in England. No, someone very sneaky and smart had to be helping her. I ran through a list of people left over from the war that may or may not want me dead, but there was no one specific that came to mind and why would they do it now after all this time; it had been three years.

* * *

"I think she's working with someone else Sirius." I relayed my fears to him.

"I know Darling, she's much too stupid to have avoided the Aurors for this long, someone's hiding her or helping her hide and it's not Blaise's mum either because we investigated her three times now and nothing" He said rubbing his temples.

This really worried me because I couldn't think of anyone else in London who would want to hurt me. It had to be someone from the back home, from the war. I wondered if someone had escaped the prison or had been acquitted.

"You need to see if someone from Chicago has broken out of jail or is unaccounted for, because I don't think there's anyone left in London who wants me dead." I told him.

"I'll do that first thing Tomorrow." He assured me. When I reminded him that tomorrow was Saturday and he wouldn't be working he got this crazy look in his eye.

"Are you alright" I said slightly freaked out.

"Take off your clothes." He demanded, the glassy look not leaving his face, as he started removing his own robes.

"What?" I asked him thoroughly confused; he had lost his damn mind. How was us naked going to help us catch Grace and her co conspirator.

"Darling, your clothes" he said again more impatiently, motioning to my outfit.

"It's been three weeks today and I have been dying." Of course, I rolled my eyes.

Only a man could turn a conversation about capturing a loose killer into getting laid. But still I was more than willing to comply with his demands. I had been dying too.

He was standing completely stripped in front of me, and was growing harder by the second. I smiled and that was apparently all the encouragement he needed. I ripped off my own dress and Sirius moved towards me, slammed his lips against my own while simultaneously pulling off the remains of my clothing.

I shuddered at the touch of his fingers sliding against my thighs pulling my lace panties down. I was clutching his neck forcing him closer to me, and when I was free of the last of my undergarments he lifted me up, never breaking our searing kiss and pinned me against the paneled oak wall with my legs wrapped around his back.

I was burning to have him inside me again, 3 weeks was really too long to be apart. Sirius moved him mouth to my neck and shoulders and I tilted my head back to give him ample room.

"I thought I'd never get to do this again." He said against my throat, his voice vibrating on my skin before sucking lightly on my neck.

His hand was rough and callused as it brushed over my breast, I jerked against him slightly at the feeling. I moved his face back up towards mine and kissed him again. His mouth moved ruthlessly against mine. My hands were moving all over his body, caressing his chest, wrapping my fingers in his hair, grabbing his ass; I touched every inch of skin visible and accessible.

"I want you right now" I demanded him in a breathy voice.

Sirius was more than happy to oblige me and positioned himself and then thrust inside of me with a breathy moan. As he did, all the nerves in my body seemed to be firing at once, every shift gave a breathtaking hint of mindless ecstasy that only grew as we continued.

I was still pinned up against the wall, I would probably have bruises on my back tomorrow from being pushed into the paneling, but it was worth it. This was real and raw and I needed it; I needed him. Sirius' was panting and glistening with sweat; his scent made my head swim. He continued moving roughly inside of me, one hand tangled in my hair. The blood was roaring through my veins until it was too much. I arched against him, crying out as my body convulsed in agonizing pleasure. He gave a few last deep thrusts before moaning my name as he came inside of me.

Sirius pulled out and set me back down on the floor, both of us breathless, sweaty and extremely satisfied. He kissed me again more gently than before.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked with sincerity as if realizing all of sudden that he might have been a little rough.

"No, it felt good." I assured him.

"Good, you wanna go again then?" he gave a sly smile before dragging me down to the floor.

**Thanks for reading. More about Late Bloomers and were going to find out what's up with Grace in the next chapter. Please review?**


	32. Behind the Veil

**Thanks to everyone who hasn't forgotten this story, it was very encouraging to see all the hits and read the reviews. So here is a new chapter for you. Hope you like**

* * *

**Behind the Veil **

So after a weekend of making up for lost time, Sirius unfortunately had to return to the Auror office and his job. He was going to check with the American Aurors to see if any dark witches or wizards with a vendetta against me had recently escaped. I was going to the Department of Mysteries to ask questions about late bloomers, although I was pretty sure they didn't have much and I would probably be the one being asked questions.

Harry and Sirius had both apparated with me to the Ministry. I basically had babysitters whenever I left the house, to ensure my safety. I was feeling very claustrophobic; I'm a girl who needs her space.

Plus having the boy who lived escort me everywhere was staring rumors. We were having an affair, I was carrying his child, you get the picture. We all found it extremely funny and completely far fetched, but it was still starting to bother me.

Ginny had come over the previous night and mimicked Grace perfectly. " You're sleeping with him!" Ginny yelled at me pointing to Harry. I think I almost peed my pants before I managed my response. "What? No I'm not. I have rules about taken men." I shouted back to her.

Sirius and Harry who both seemed to have forgotten the specifics of that fight and got extremely defensive. Harry profusely denied, Sirius had his mouth flopped open like he couldn't believe this was actually looked back and forth between me and Harry with shock.

"I..I…I didn't" Harry stuttered and raised up his hands in surrender.

I burst out in laughter. "You guys are ridiculous, I was just joking." Ginny said cracking up.

Harry and Sirius were less than amused. "Women" Sirius muttered.

* * *

So after the babysitter dropped me off at the ministry, I made my way to the obscure entrance of the Dept. of Mysteries. Seriously I think it gained its name from the fact that it is a mystery to find. When I finally found it a witch named Marta Wickes met me at the entrance.

Marta had made her career out of studying the veil between this world and the next; the very same veil that had killed my lover, but also preserved him in a sense.

I wondered to myself what Sirius would have been like had he not died. Would we even be together? He would be over 50; would I still be attracted to him?

In my heart I thought yes, we were made for each other, but I couldn't help but ponder the what if's.

"I am so interested to hear about your experiences" she told me. "I've been studying death and the afterlife for years. I think your input will be very helpful."

I thought this might be more about her wanting to study me than me ask questions about other later bloomers. "Oh, of course I have spent quite amount of time on late in life witches as well, but there are so few of them and much of the history is terribly biased. It's amazing to find a late in life witch that had gifts concerning the dead."

She made me seem very morbid, but I guess necromancy isn't the happiest of subjects. I had come to the conclusion that my gift was giving life, not wish granting wishes. But I had yet to figure out how the whole process worked. For example none of the people I brought back into the world were truly dead in the strictest sense of the word. I mean Sirius was pretty damn close, but he fell, body intact into the afterlife, I was only half dead and Lily wasn't born yet.

Of course I had only been a witch for five years, and the other late bloomers powers seemed to grow with time, so maybe mine would get stronger as well. But mine was a tricky gift with lots of ethical questions, when is it right to bring the dead back and when should you leave them where they lie?

* * *

I realized Marta had been speaking to me the whole time she was leading me through the dept. and I had not been paying any attention to a word she had said. I pulled myself back into the present just in time to hear her ask me if I would like to see the veil. I did want to see it; it was possibly the most interesting thing housed in the ministry.

I followed her to a large and empty room, with only the veil in the center, swaying gently though there was no draft. I could hear loud whispers coming from the direction of the veil and I swore I heard my name. Marta looked at me curiously.

"Do you hear them? I never can." she told me intrigued.

I nodded my head as I followed the voices. I had to hear what they were saying. Who would be there? I knew this was a veil between worlds, the dead were there. I both worried and hoped that I would hear my family, of course I wanted to speak with them again, to apologize for what had happened to them, but I was concerned if they were there that I would spend the rest of my days in the dept. of mysteries wasting away in front of the veil and a very wise man once said "it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

I cautiously approached the veil and the voices grew louder as if fighting each other for my audience, like they knew I could hear them. I leaned in close and strained to understand the words, and all of a sudden they were so clear.

A woman's voice, English, and one I did not recognize rose out over the others. "Colleen" the voice said gently.

"You don't have to worry; they are all here, safe and happy, they want you to know that it wasn't your fault." A lump formed in my throat and tears began to spill from my eyes, although I did not know who was talking and she never mentioned any names I knew she meant the family and friends I had lost in the war. It meant so much to know that they didn't blame me for what had happened to them. I guessed they were in a better place. Sirius had said when he wasn't busy haunting me, he was in a warm and happy place.

"Who are you?" I asked in a scratchy voice, almost unable to form words.

* * *

"I was Lily Evans Potter." She responded. I smiled, I had always wanted to meet Lily Potter.

" Everyone will be so jealous when I tell them I talked to you." I told her.

" I would love for them to be, but unfortunately you can't tell them. I don't want everyone I know hanging out here waiting to hear from me, and I know you're good at secrets." She said with a smile in her voice.

Once again I was forced to hide something seriously awesome from my friends.

"They couldn't hear me anyway. You have a gift, that's why we come in so clear. That's why you could see Sirius when no one else could, that's how he found you." Lily told me. This was answering some of my questions, but I had so many I couldn't even think of them all.

"Why are you the one talking to me? I never even met you." I asked her in the most inoffensive way possible. I was glad she was there, but there were many people I knew that were dead, where were they? Why is Harry Potter's mother the one to chat?

"It's because you don't know me that I'm here. We don't want you hanging out here all the time either; waiting to talk to everyone you ever loved." She explained. That made sense because that's exactly what I would have been doing.

"And anyway, I wanted to thank you. You gave Sirius back his life in more ways than one, he deserved a chance to live so much, and you love my family as if it were your own."

Must she be so sentimental, I was going to start crying? "Well, they're all so damn lovable" I said in earnest while trying to lighten the mood.

"Still, you are there for them when I cannot be and I'll be forever grateful. But the reason I am actually here is to tell you that you must learn to master your gift. It will be so important in the future." Lily advised.

"How do I do that?" I asked her. I know practice makes perfect but I wasn't quite sure I wanted to start hanging out at Saint Mungo's proclaiming myself as some kind of faith healer.

"You'll find a way, don't' worry." And then her voice disappeared into the background and all I heard were the jumbled incoherent clamor of the spirits behind the veil.

That was certainly interesting, I thought to myself. I turned around and saw Marta staring at me in awe and confusion.

"Who were you talking to?" She asked me.

"Just an old friend" I replied.

"But you can speak to them?" she asked with a gleam in her eye as if she had just won the lottery. "Only if they wish to speak to me, Marta." I answered, I didn't want to be stuck down here asking all the answer to all life's mysteries to people who are in fact lifeless. I had to process my thoughts about this whole situation. Why is this gift going to be important in the future? How the hell am I supposed to hone my craft? I excused myself from Marta, telling her we would meet another time, and I apparated home.

* * *

Sirius was lounging on my sofa reading the Quibbler when I arrived at my house. That reminded me of once again, how much I truly disliked Grace and her murderous cohorts. My job at the Quibbler had to be given to someone else after I was poisoned. I guess you can't be a very good journalist if you're unconscious.

Sirius noticed me and put down the paper. "Hey darling how was the Dept. of mysteries? Did you see the veil that killed me?" He asked jovially. I rolled my eyes at him. He was so terribly amused that he was killed by drapery.

"I did." I answered sitting down next to him. "It was weird, I was just thinking about what would have happened if someone had just AK'd you and you hadn't fallen through. Would you have come back at all? Would we be together?"

He thought for a moment. "It doesn't matter" he told me and pulled me into his chest. "Things work out how they are supposed to; or they wouldn't happen at all."

I supposed he was right, everything happened for a reason.

"When did you get so wise?"

"Life lessons darling, life lessons. You'll understand when you're older." Sirius replied condescendingly and patted my head.

"Oh fuck off, old man" I said laughing.

"But it was so weird Sirius; I mean someone from behind the veil spoke to me and told me that my family was happy and that I shouldn't feel responsible for their deaths." Okay, so I left out a few key details, like the part where Lily freaking Potter was the speaker, but hey it wasn't a lie and I had to get it off my chest.

"So you can talk to "real" dead people too can you? That's an interesting talent; certainly useful." Sirius said.

I wasn't so sure. "Useful to evil people; why would anyone else want to raise the dead? I don't need an army of inferi." I vented.

Sirius shook his head at me "Darling, inferi are just animated corpses. You shoved my spirit back into my body. That's impressive."

I knew he was right. It was different then the inferi and, as of now, I had only helped people. I just worried about how far was too far in regards to returning people to life. Where was the line?

"Speaking of evil people" Sirius said "I talked to the one of the American Aurors and she said that everyone is still safely tucked away in their prison cells. So I don't know who could be helping Grace out. We'll figure it out though, don't' worry"

As much as I wanted to get Grace off the streets, maybe it was best if we just gave up for now. Sirius was training for 8 hours a day and then helping the Aurors investigate leads way into the night. And then Harry and Ron both had new babies at home and searching for the poisoner had kept them away from their families for much too long.

I had not been thinking very critically about this whole situation.

Grace and whoever was working with her obviously wanted me dead, no one else, just me.

I had spent the last month basically in hiding or with an armed guard whenever I left the house. They would not try again unless I was an easy target, and right now I wasn't. I had a feeling that unless they did try again, we would never figure out this mystery.

"Sirius, I have an idea that you're not going to like."

**Please Review? **


	33. A Trip Down Memory Lane

Hi everyone, Thanks so Much for the reviews. Here is another chapter and please remember that I own nothing :)

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A Trip Down Memory Lane 

It was Christmas again and everyone in the wizarding world was in a bustle. It had been a week since I had shared my idea with Sirius, and he had gotten the Aurors to conceal their presence slightly better. I still knew they were there, which truthfully was a small comfort, but I doubted anyone else could tell they were watching over me.

I was in Diagon Alley with Ginny and her kids doing some last minute shopping before the ministry ball, when I got this strange feeling of dread. It was a tightening in my chest that I couldn't explain; but I knew something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked me. I nodded "I'm fine." Although she looked at me as if she knew I was lying, which I was. James had run to the Quidditch shop window and was eyeing the newest racing broom on the market.

I smiled to myself, because I had gotten him that for Christmas. I know he is a little young, but come on the Potters were such a Quidditch family, I swear. I figured he'd be alright. Ginny would probably kick my ass, but it would be worth it to see him so excited.

I had no idea what to get Sirius but I had eventually tracked down a pair of two way mirrors; remembering he had given his to Harry and Harry broke it, I thought he could use another. I had to sneak off to Borgin and Burke's to get them, which was slightly frightening.

Even though there were no longer a ton of dark witches and wizards left, there were still more than a few unsavory characters in Knockturn Alley.

One of those people being Blaise Zabini, who of course I had run into. Surprisingly he was very cordial to me and basically just said hello and then let me be. I was thankful because I was not looking forward to another brawl in the ally.

I picked up the mirrors and met back up with Ginny and after shopping for last minute gifts we headed over to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch and a butterbeer, as Hannah seated us I got a strange feeling that I was being watched. I scanned the room quickly looking for anyone suspicious but saw no one.

We had been there for about 20 minutes, we were eating our food and James was talking to me about what he thought Father Christmas was bringing when my heart began to race. Once again I scanned the crowd looking for anyone I might have deemed dangerous, but once again I saw no one. I had tried to talk myself down, told myself I was just being paranoid but my body began screaming for me to get out of there.

I threw a few galleons on the table.

"We need to go now" I said frantically to Ginny, and grabbed James and Al, apparating them back to Grimauld Place.

Ginny arrived a few moments later with Lily and our packages in her arms. "What's wrong?" She asked me worried as she set down the Christmas gifts. "I just got this feeling that I needed to get out of there." I explained "I might be crazy, but it just felt like something was seriously wrong."

James and Al looked frightened and I realized I probably shouldn't have said anything in front of them, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. "I'm sure it was nothing, guys, it's okay." I said trying to comfort them.

"Should I get Harry and Sirius?" Ginny asked.

"No, It's okay. I'll just wait till he gets home, Ginny. Sirius will freak out once I tell him" I told her.

I hadn't seen anything after all, it was just a feeling. There was no reason to go running for help yet. I felt so weak for running, I could stay and fight, I would probably win. But then there was the question of who to fight, I hadn't actually seen anyone. It was completely frustrating.

I was not used to being protected and I certainly wasn't used to hiding at home while others might be in danger. I hate Grace.

My pounding heart was beginning to regulate and the fear started to subside but the nagging that someone was there watching me did not go away. Suddenly the living room was filled with the pops of apparition as half the Aurors in London arrived on the scene, including Harry, Ron, my overprotective lover and his partner Davis. Davis was a new Auror; he had just started the previous month. He was originally from Canada but wanted to work with Harry so he relocated to the U.K. Davis had always been very nice to me but there was something not quite right about him, although I had never spoken of this to Sirius.

"What's wrong darling?" Sirius ran up to me frantically and proceeded to check me over for any injuries as the other Aurors started to question me. I was trying to answer them but was having difficulties due to Sirius beginning to inspect the inside of my mouth and pulling up my lids to poke around at my eyes. I slapped his hands away. "Sirius! I'm fine, the only damage that occurred was from your check up." I told him annoyed and blinking furiously to get rid of the dryness in my eyes.

"Colleen, what happened? Why did you leave the Leaky Cauldron so fast?" Ron asked.

"It was nothing as far as I can tell, I just got this feeling of dread and I had to run." I explained. I felt stupid about worrying everyone for no reason, but then I don't think anyone ever suffered from listening to their gut. My intuition hadn't failed me before. There must have been someone or something in the pub to freak me out so badly.

"Alright well your safe here, we'll go back to the pub and look around, see if anyone saw anything suspicious." Harry told me before kissing Ginny and the kids goodbye and disapparating.

"Are you sure you're okay? Sirius asked. "Yes, but I'll feel better if you find something. I feel so helpless.

I'll be back soon. Don't leave here until I get back okay?" Sirius made me promise "Yeah, Yeah" I agreed waving him away. He kissed my head before he left which worried me a little, it was rather out of character for him, but then he slapped my ass and I was relieved. "Pervert" I called him, but he just winked at me and left.

* * *

I called Jen that night to see if anything weird had happened to her lately, and told her about my scare at the Leaky Cauldron. "No nothing has happened to me, but you always tell me to trust my instincts, so it was probably best you got out of there." She told me. I felt a little better after her reassuring me that I did the right thing. "I know I just felt like such a little bitch, you know." I told her admitting my feelings.

"Okay I have this metaphor for you" Jen said "So when a wildebeest is hanging out in Africa and he gets this feeling like he should peace the fuck out, he just does so. He never stops and asks himself if he's just being a pussy or wonders if there is really a lion hiding behind those bushes ready to eat him. If he did that he'd probably be dead."

I had never thought about it in hat context before. She was right, that wildebeest would not question himself he would just remove himself from danger because it was the smart thing to do, and I was certainly smarter than a wildebeest. "You're absolutely right Jen." I told her "I felt like there was something wrong, and I left, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe I'm alive because of it." I hung up the phone feeling much better about myself.

* * *

It was 2 days later and the night of the Ministry Christmas Ball. I had no more freak outs since the pub. Davis had found that a few patrons had seen a strange man at the Leaky Cauldron that day, and that he had left soon after I did. I couldn't think of any man that would want to harm me though so I dismissed it.

Unless Grace hired a hit wizard I figured I was okay.

"Are you almost ready? We are going to be late. Does it really take this long to do your bloody hair?" Sirius asked impatiently holding a glass of firewhiskey. He was sitting on my bed watching me get ready and had been for the past half hour. I was trying to fix my hair and it didn't seem to be working so well, so I just left it down after 10 minutes of trying for a French twist.

"Fuck off Black. I have to make sure you're not looking at any other bitches tonight." I retorted. It takes a while for a girl to look good damn it. He mumbled something about other men and then "I'm sure they won't hold a candle to you." he added dryly.

"They might, hey Grace poisoned me why would one of your other jilted lovers set me ablaze?" I smirked.

Sirius rolled his eyes at me, not at all amused by my wit. He was in a terrible mood, apparently more than one of us was on our period. He had actually tried to get out of going to the party. I obviously didn't let him, I spent a lot of money on my outfit, and so help me god I was going to that ball.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out the gown I was going to wear. I had bought it specifically to match the choker Sirius had gotten for me the previous Christmas. The dress was a strapless light pink satin with a dropped waist accentuated by intricate beading. I slipped it on in my dressing room but had to come out for Sirius to button me up.

"Do the back" I commanded. Sirius reluctantly set his drink down and came over to me and hastily buttoned the back of my dress.

"Did you do it right?" I asked him and walked to a mirror to inspect his work. He went so fast I was sure he had skipped a button, but was pleased to find everything was in place.

"Yes, can we just go now please?" he said in a snippy tone.

"In a minute. How do I look?" I asked, okay so I was fishing for a compliment. I was emotional and felt like a fat ass at the moment, I needed some reassurance.

"Lovely" Sirius said, not really looking but grabbing my coat and thrusting it at me.

There went my reassurance. It was a world gone wrong when my own fiancé doesn't even find me attractive. So my feelings were a little hurt, I needed a drink.

* * *

We apparated to the Ministry where the ball was being held, and once again the decorators had outdone themselves. This year everything was silver, blue and white. The Christmas trees were decorated with candles and real icicles. The whole main hall looked like a winter wonderland, with magic ice and snow covering the floor and tables. Each table had an ice sculpture that was surrounded by white candles that made the ice sparkle like diamonds. The dinnerware was solid silver and the chairs were covered in some sort of twinkling white fabric.

It was breathtaking, so much so that for a moment I forgot about my hurt feelings and desperate need for alcohol. I was brought back into the moment quickly by my douchebag boyfriend dragging me across the room to where he spotted Harry and Ginny. He let go of me when we reached them.

"What the hell is your deal tonight?" I asked Sirius, rubbing my arm where he had been holding it.

"I don't know what your talking about." He said quickly before turning to talk to Harry and Ron who had just come over.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Hermione as she joined Ginny and I. I rolled my eyes and shrugged "I have no clue; lets get drunk." I suggested as I grabbed their hands and wove our way through the crowds to the bar. We got to the bar and I ordered a vodka and cranberry with extra vodka for me and wine for the girls. It was only 7pm, I guess they weren't ready for the big girl drinks just yet.

We sat and chatted for a while and I ordered 2 more drinks for myself. What? I was in an emotional state, this is how I dealt with my problems. I started to get that weird feeling of someone watching me, but I ignored it. I mean practically every wizard and witch in Britain was in the room, someone probably was watching me. No reason to be alarmed. Tonight was going to be fun, and I had a little too much liquor to listen to my gut.

They started the actual ball at 7:30 and they made the first dance announcement. Hermione, Ginny and I went to find our men, although I was less than thrilled at the idea of dancing with Sirius right then.

"come on, the first dance is starting." I told him when I arrived at the table he was sitting at. He got up without a word to me and led me onto the floor.

It was hard to believe everything that had happened in the past 12 months. At the last Christmas Ball I was falling in love with Sirius, with hippogriffs fluttering around in my belly. Now we were engaged, although I was currently pissed at him for the way he was treating me.

The music started and I was pushed up against him. He still hadn't said anything to me.

"What's wrong Sirius?" I asked him as nicely as possible to avoid a fight in the middle of the ministry and everyone we had ever met.

"Nothing" he replied, but refused to meet my eyes.

"So then you're just being a dick for no reason?" I asked. He was really starting to get on my nerves, if he was going to be mad at me I at least had the right to know why right?

"I wouldn't be a dick, if you weren't being such a whore." He spat at me.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I yelled at him as quietly as possible. A whore? A whore with who?

"You know what I'm talking about, Colleen. You and Zabini. Davis saw you two meet up in Knockturn Alley." I wondered how Davis got me and Zabini fucking out of a handshake.

"And you believed him? You didn't even think to ask me?" I spat back at him in disbelief, we were doing this all while trying to be inconspicuous and dance at the same time.

"I didn't have to: I knew you would just deny it." He said with venom.

I could honestly not believe him. "You have lost your damn mind! I cannot believe you think that I would cheat on you." I told him.

Clearly he was wrong and he would see the error of his ways. "Davis saw you" he defended himself.

"I was getting your Christmas present and I ran into Blaise, we shook hands nothing more." I explained as rationally as possible, it wouldn't help the situation if I blew up. "I can't believe you would lie about this." He practically screamed and more than a few people turned to look at us.

"I'm not ly…" I started but he cut me off. "I knew you were a fucking slut. You can't keep your legs closed for half a day?" he asked cruelly.

Oh hell no he didn't. "Don't fucking talk to me like that. You are such an asshole; I never cheated on you, although I probably should have." I stated before pulling myself free from him. I had had enough of the accusations. He was insane if he thought I was going to let him talk to me like that.

I left him standing there in the middle of the dance floor. How dare he say that too me! How dare he think that! I ran out of the main hall into one of the many corridors, fighting tears all the way. I was tipsy and on my period, not a good mix when trying not to cry.

Sirius did not come after me, I think had been expecting him to, to come and apologize, but he didn't,that was what hurt the most. What a douche.

* * *

I found a bathroom, locked myself in the stall and cried for a few minutes just to get it all out.

After I was done acting like a little bitch, I just got angry. There was this rage building inside my chest. He was going to be very sorry for what he had said.

I threw the stall door open and checked my makeup in the mirror, thank Merlin for waterproof mascara. I used my wand to conjure up some ice and used it to remove the puffiness from my face.

When I once again presentable I busted out of the bathroom, ready to kill.

I marched down the hallway, heals clicking, on my way back to the main hall to give Sirius Black the word thrashing of his life and I might kick his ass literally once we were in private. I didn't want to be arrested after all, I didn't think it was proper to attack an Auror in public.

I was so busy planning my attack on Sirius that I did not pay attention to where I was going or to the feeling of fear that was growing steadily in my stomach.

By the time I turned the corner it was too late.

My eyes locked with his and I gasped in shock as my heart flew into my throat. He smirked in a way that made my blood run cold.

"I've been waiting for you Colleen."

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Thanks for reading and please review. Oh and that little story about the wildebeast is very important ladies. I took it from Oprah when she was talking about women needing to pay attention to their instincts more because It can save your life:)


	34. Ask to See the Body

**Thank you all for reading and the lovely reviews! Sorry for the cliffhanger, but everyone should have a little suspense in their life right?**

**Disclaimer: I own Nothing.

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**Ask to See the Body**

"I've been waiting for you Colleen."

Oh shit.

* * *

He was leaning against the wall looking exactly the way I remembered; his blonde hair falling seductively into his dark eyes. The smirk that played on his lips, the way he crossed his arms across his chest. Even his smell, bergamot and cinnamon, threw me into a horrific past.

Wuther.

How in the hell was this bastard standing here before me?

"I thought you were dead." I said carefully and slowly barely able to find the words. I spoke so as not to alarm him or myself, we couldn't have him doing anything rash now could we? I was still half drunk though the sight of him had sobered me up considerably. However, I still doubted my ability to take him down on my own. I needed back up.

"I wanted you to think that" He smiled a sickening grin as he moved off the wall towards me.

Son of a bitch.

Note to self: when told enemies are dead, ask to see the fucking body.

* * *

"Why? How?" I asked him. My head was spinning with the realization that he was really here in the Ministry. He did not have his wand out which comforted me a little, maybe he wasn't looking for a fight. I wasn't prepared for one that was certain.

"It was all so easy" he said shaking his head. " A dead body and a little polyjuice potion, and everyone thought Bolvechek had killed me along with the rest of your friends."

Wuther stood just centimeters away from me and reached out and caressed my face, sending chills racing through my body. He was the reason everyone I loved was dead.

I can't lie and say I wasn't frightened because I was terrified or that all the little moments of happiness with him didn't fly into my mind because they did. Flashes of what could have been were surfacing, but what stuck out most to me was the betrayal and pain he had ravaged upon me.

So although I was scared I forced myself to look him hard in the eye. He gave a half smile. "Still so brave." He said as he brushed his thumb across my lip. How dare he touch me after all he had done. I sneered, disgusted by his touch.

"I should slaughter you the way I did Bolvechek." I told him with poison dripping from my words as I knocked his hand away.

"Yes, I heard about the torture. They said you were crazy you know. But I know much more _intimately_" he winked at me

"I know you're not crazy, just vengeful."

He was such a bastard.

I had pictured what I would have said and done to him had I been given the chance, murder, dismemberment, decapitation they were all on the list. However never did I think I would just stand there and talk to him the way I was doing now. Mind you it was less of a cordial conversation and more like two lions circling each other waiting to see who would attack first. But still there were words and me not chopping him up into pieces.

"Why are you here now? Why after all this time?" I asked him, in an almost pleading way. There had to be a reason, he knew I would kill him if I saw him, so why would he dare show himself?

"I've been watching you for a while" he told me in a slimy tone. "Watching you try to rebuild your little life, watching your powers grow. You have the gift of life and I can show you how to use it,If you'll only let me."

He had lost his damn mind if he thought I was going to ally myself with him again. Did he think I forgot what happened last time. "There is no way I'm going to let you teach me anything." I spat back at him.

He looked down and smiled arrogantly. "Did you think I was a bad teacher Colleen? You took to my lessons well… all of them."

He was such a creeper. I was not learning from him again nor was I going to be fucking him again.

"Forget it Wuther, I have a new life and a new boyfriend, we" I said motioning to myself and him "are not happening."

* * *

He was really starting to piss me off. Seriously, he thought he could just pop back into my life, seduce me again and we would be on our merry way. Hell no. I was not the same girl as I was 4 years ago, he had seen to that. All my innocence and naivety died with my family.

"How's it going with Sirius anyway? I heard that you're cheating on him." Wuther said.

And then it hit me. How would he know about what happened between me and Sirius unless he had orchestrated it?

"You had Davis tell Sirius I was cheating on him." I accused him.

He smirked knowingly and tutted me "I thought you would be smatter than that Colleen. I am Davis."

What the fuck! Can a girl catch a break, ever? Well at least now I knew why I thought something was seriously off with David. I would have to remind Harry to screen the Aurors better from now on.

"So now that that relationship is over we can rekindle ours. You have no idea the things I can teach you, the things we could do. We could take America back if you wanted. It's all in your power you just have to take it."

Was he telling the truth? The offer was tempting, the power to take back my home, to right the wrongs that were happening there. But what would I have to do to get that power? I doubted it was anything good, especially since Wuther was involved. He was only out for himself and I happened to work into his plan at the moment, nothing more.

"I'll find my power myself thank you." I said firmly.

The arrogance and smirk fell from his face and was replaced by a cold rage. The atmosphere changed instantly, if the tension was thick before now it was suffocating. I was starting to get very worried. My palms were sweating in anticipation.

"Your loss, I'll just have to stick with my original plan then." He said and quick as lightning pulled out his wand and a green light shot out at me although he remained silent. I had forgotten he was so good at nonverbals. I was pretty sure he was trying to kill me.

Wait his original plan?

Then the poisoned chocolates made sense. The son of a bitch he was behind Grace too. He was such a life ruiner!

My wand was out a split second after his and I was able to deflect his spell. At that point the hallway became a fireworks display of different colored magic shooting all about the corridor. He was very good, and I hadn't dueled in quite sometime making the odds not in my favor. I was defending myself well, although I had not been able to use one offensive spell.

"I assume you sent Grace after me too then?" I asked out of breath as we continued to duel. He laughed; well it was more of an evil cackle than a laugh. "Of course, do you think she could have hidden herself so well without help? But seeing as that failed I figured I could use you again, but you are being so uncooperative." He answered as he shot, what I assumed to be an AK at me.

"I always was stubborn." I said shrugging as I blocked the spell and it hit the wall causing the bricks to crumble.

* * *

I heard footsteps and voices calling out for me. Just then Ginny, Hermione and Sirius came running into the hallway.

'What's going on?" Hermione asked loudly looking back and forth from Wuther to me as he continued his assault.

"Get out of here!" I yelled at them. The last thing I needed was for them to be killed by Wuther or a stray killing curse.

"Get Harry and Ron!" Sirius ordered Ginny and she ran back the way she came.

I continued to duel furiously but Sirius and Hermione did not take my advice. Instead they both whipped out their wands and began firing spells at Wuther, though they had no idea who he was or why we were fighting at all. This made me smile in the midst of everything going on. I still had people who cared enough about me that they would try to kill someone who was hurting me with no details what so ever.

Because there were three of us attacking Wuther, he was becoming more defensive and this allowed me the opportunity to shoot a stunning spell at him. It hit him but he did not go down like he should have. He stumbled a bit though and his face contorted in anger.

In that moment he seemed to realize he was going to loose and ran off down the corridor toward the exit. Once he was in the main hall he would be able to dissaparate before anymore damage was done to him.

The three of us took of after him, but he incredibly fast and there were a number of hallways that would bring you out into the main hall. Unfortunately we chose to go down the wrong one and when we came to the hall we couldn't find Wuther, he must have dissaparated.

Once we were sure he was gone I leaned against the wall sweating, out of breath and relieved it was over for now. Harry, Ron and Ginny appeared at the main doors where we were standing.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked.

"Who was that?" Hermione asked also out of breath.

"That" I said staring directly at Sirius "was Wuther, better known to you all as Brendan Davis."

Sirius' face fell, I'm sure he realized that he had been set up to believe that I was cheating on him.

"Darling…" He started but was cut off by Ron. "Who's Wuther?"

I chose to ignore Sirius and answer Ron. "Wuther is the man who betrayed me and my family. He sold us out to Bolvechek. I thought he was dead, I was told he was dead." I explained. "He put Grace up to the poisoning and he became an Auror so he could get close to me and create a wedge in between us all."

Harry looked positively miserable. "I'm so sorry Colleen; He was just so talented I didn't do a thorough enough background check on him. He could have killed you and it would be entirely my fault." He said shamefully.

He looked so upset that I couldn't even berate him for his lack of efficiency. "It's okay Harry, he would be an amazing Auror if he wasn't such a douchebag. And anyway It brought him out of the woodwork. At least now I know what I'm dealing with, so I know how to fight it a little better."

But how was I going to deal with him? Wuther said I had powers, but I had no idea how to use them, so they wouldn't be exactly helpful when I was up against him again. He was a better wizard than me; he had had much more training and practice. The only thing I had was the knowledge that he was the reason I was alone, It was his fault everyone I loved was murdered. I had the fire of vengeance and sometimes I think that is all that one needs.

"He wanted to teach me how to use my gifts; he said he could teach me." I explained Wuther's proposition.

"If he could teach you then someone else can too, or you can learn on your own" Ginny said "He can't be the only person in the entire world who has the answers."

She was right, maybe I just wasn't looking in the correct places. Wuther might have used dark magic, and as much as I loathed dealing with it myself, it might be the only way to go. I decided to try to find out more after Christmas was over, but I knew I had to set limits for myself. I wasn't going to get myself all tangled up in magic that might hurt someone. I had read of too many late bloomers going bad to do that I wasn't going to be one of them. I knew I had to watch myself; it had been almost too easy for me to agree to Wuther's request, even after everything he had done.

"Maybe we should get back to the party?" Hermione suggested. I gave her a surprised look. I did not expect Hermione of all people to suggest a ball, when an evil doer was trying to kill me. I thought she'd be on her way to the library by now. "It's Christmas" she said shrugging "We all need a break, and you need not to worry about him right now. You're dealing with enough already."

She looked directly at Sirius when she said this. I assumed since she and Ginny were with Sirius when he found me they knew of our current situation.

Everyone seemed to agree with going back to the ball, or they just wanted to leave me and Sirius alone for a minute; whatever the reason they all hurried back to the main ballroom.

* * *

Sirius looked at me when we were alone. "I'm a fucking douchebag" he said pathetically. I tightened my jaw. I was not quite ready to forgive him even though he had just helped to save my life. He deserved to suffer a little bit. Hey I had a really bad day, alright?

"Yeah, you are. I can't believe you would believe your partner over me, you barely knew him. You didn't even ask me! Why would I cheat on you? Huh? Especially with Blaise" I yelled at him and backed away as he moved towards me. He was visibly upset, rightfully so, he called me a slut for Merlin's sake.

"I wasn't thinking clearly, I was just so angry that there were no rational thoughts." He said pointing to his temples and trying to explain. Well he would have to explain a lot more than that.

"I cried you son of a bitch, you made me cry! I ran into the bathroom like a grade-schooler and bawled my eyes out." I admitted. So I wouldn't usually tell anyone that but I knew it would make him feel bad, I had to pull out the big guns for this situation.

Sirius rubbed his face. "I didn't mean it, you know I didn't." he tried to console me.

"But you did mean it Sirius!" I shouted. "You said it purposefully, because you knew it would hurt me."

He was very calculating in that respect; he could find your weakness and pick at it until it bled. It was the Black in him. "You are so terrible sometimes that I think your family gave you more than just your name" I snapped.

He looked like he was going to flip out on me for a moment. His eyes grew dark and stormy but the look passed and he quickly composed himself. I was slightly impressed by the self control.

"Well if it had been true, you would have deserved it. I just should have looked into the matter more before I opened my mouth. But for the record I was trying to find out the truth before I said anything. But you just kept bothering me to tell you what was wrong." Sirius told me.

It made me laugh silently. He had meant what he said, but only if I really was a slut.

"Well you were being cold all night; I wanted to know what was wrong. I have the right to know why I'm being treated like shit, don't I?" I defended myself. I did have a right to know why he was being such a prick.

Sirius sighed; he must have known there was no way he was winning this argument.

"Colleen look, Davis, or Wuther was just trying to pit us against each other and it worked for about an hour. I would have figured out eventually that you weren't with Zabini and I would have apologized." I refused to let him off the hook so easily and stared unmoved. he sighed exasperatedly.

"Darling I love you, so of course I was a dick when I thought you were cheating on me with him. Don't act like you would be any different if the situation were reversed. Look at Jen and Charlie's wedding, you flew off the handle because you thought I was with that girl."

I supposed he was right, damn his rational, but still I did not say such hurtful things to him. But then that was Sirius; that was what he did when he was mad, or upset. He made you hurt as much as he did or worse if he was able to.

I think he knew I had forgiven him. My face softened I guess. Sirius walked over to me and pulled me to him. "Am I forgiven?" he asked carefully as if he wasn't quite sure what I would say. "I guess" I replied. I did love his sorry ass after all.

"I'm going to murder Wuther for fucking with you Darling." He promised and kissed my head. His arms were wrapped around me and I was gripping tightly to his robes. "I really thought this was all over. I thought I would never have to worry about him again." I said to Sirius with my face buried in his chest. He pulled me in closer to him and began to rub my back and I felt relaxed for the first time that day. "We'll find him." Sirius promised

"And by the way I didn't tell you before" He said pushing me back a little and making me look at him "but you look ridiculously sexy tonight." I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, typical Sirius.

" No, honestly. When I wasn't plotting my revenge against you I was plotting about how to get that dress off."

* * *

**Thanks for reading, I hoped you liked that little twist. Please Review?**


	35. Merry Christmas Porn

Hey everyone, thanks so much for continuing to read this story! This is a very lemony chapter so be warned, also JK owns everything HP related, and the Pogues own Fairytale of New York. It's my favorite Christmas song so I had to incorporate it.

Merry Christmas Porn

I woke up at 1 the next day, Christmas day, to the sounds of carols on the radio. I could hear Sirius downstairs in the kitchen cooking and singing along to Fairytale of New York. He was in a much better mood than he was yesterday; I suppose a night of hot shagging will do that to a man.

The smell of pancakes was coming up through the ceiling; I assumed he was making a breakfast apology. I ran downstairs at the exact moment the best part of the song came on so I serenaded him. "You scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy fagot, happy Christmas your ass, I pray god it's our last!"

Sirius turned around and laughed at me "You're such a peach. He kissed me and grabbed my ass."Happy Christmas Darling."

"Here I made you food." He put down a massive plate of pancakes on the table. My life almost seemed normal; I was with my fiancée on Christmas morning, well actually it was afternoon, eating breakfast, singing carols, who would have thought I had a murderous bastard probably plotting my demise right then. I tried not to think of that part and redirected my thoughts to the pile of gifts under our Christmas tree. I was super excited to have presents when I woke up on Christmas afternoon for the first time in 4 years.

We ate the food Sirius made and then scourgified the dishes. I was eager to open my gifts and was heading to the tree when I suddenly realized I had forgotten to get Lily a gift.

"Oh shit Sirius." I said my stomach doing flip flops of dread; I had to find an open store, on Christmas this was going to be tough.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"I am a dumbass and forgot to get our Goddaughter a Christmas gift!" I screeched.

I ran upstairs and threw on a shirt and skirt from the closet then ran back downstairs for my cloak.

"where are you going to find a gift at this time? We can just give her money; she's too little to notice anyway." Sirius protested my leaving.

I gave him a look of death. I could not believe I forgot about her, I had to be the world's worse godmother. What kind of baby wanted money for Christmas? I could think of only one place that the stores would be open: New York.

"Sirius I'm going to apparate to New York. I'll be back as soon as I can."

I kissed him goodbye before he could say another word and then popped over to a shady corner off 5th ave. Thank God for FAO Schwarz and their crazy work ethic. I knew of no other toy store that would be open on Christmas Day. I saw the perfect toy for her, a huge plush elephant that I knew I could enchant to make noises and walk around. I grabbed it paid 500 dollars for the bloody thing and then apparated back home.

* * *

I set the enormous animal down and looked around. I immediately knew something was wrong. The lamps were knocked over as well as the coffee table; the pictures and vases were shattered on the floor, and I could hear a commotion coming from the kitchen. I had no idea were Sirius was, or if he had been attacked so I drew my wand and made my way into the kitchen. I pushed the door open and was relieved to see Sirius alive and well albeit destroying my kitchen. There was a large hole in the wall next to the refrigerator that I knew hadn't been there when I had left that morning, the dishes lay smashed on the floor and my pots and pans were strewn all over the room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him confused as hell as to what had happened. He turned startled; he had been oblivious to my entrance.

Sirius stared hard at me, out of breath from his destruction, the tendons straining in his neck. His eyes were dark and wild and I found myself backing away from him frightened. He ran his hands through his hair as he looked away from me and at the chaos he had created. Then his rational seemed to leave him again and his eyes snapped back up to mine. I furrowed my brow thoroughly perplexed by him.

Before I could speak he strode towards me, pushed me against the table and slammed his lips against mine. His kiss was violent and passionate all at once; I could taste the metallic tinge of blood on my tongue though I wasn't sure if it was his or mine. The table was digging into my back as he pushed himself against me as hard as he could and continued the assault on my mouth.

I was confused as to where the anger came from, but I was also surprisingly turned on. He had never been so rough and animalistic and it was kind of hot; one of his hands was on the back of my neck restricting my ability to move away and the other was roaming all over my body. He finally retreated from the kiss for a moment although he continued to hold me still. His groin was pressed up against mine and I could feel his erection growing as he looked at me, his breathing becoming labored.

He had still not said two words to me but picked me up and set me down hard on top of the table. I had to hold onto Sirius' arms so I wouldn't fall backwards on the table, but he pulled away from me as soon as I was steady. Instead of holding me he used his arms to literally rip my clothing off, still managing to kiss me at the same time. I had on an oxford shirt that day and he just pulled it apart and sent the buttons flying all over the room and then unhooked my bra with one hand and tossed it next to the destroyed shirt.

He then proceeded to tear the zipper of my skirt and pulled it off along with my panties. So basically I was sitting naked on my kitchen table while Sirius was still completely dressed. It was an extremely erotic, yet vulnerable moment for me I felt terribly exposed and dominated but I felt sexy. The way he looked at me with lust and desire had me eager to see him just as naked as I was but as I reached over and tried to remove his shirt he grabbed my writs and stopped me.

"No" he said firmly shaking his head and then laid me back on the walnut table.

I was breathing hard, excited for whatever he was going to me. He leaned over me and began kissing and biting at my neck and breasts. His fingers trailed down my body leaving a burning sensation as they made their way down until he reached the apex of my thighs. He touched my most intimate spot making me whimper in excitement before pulling away.

"Don't stop." I begged. He smirked at me and then continued kissing and biting at my collar bone

"I haven't even done anything yet and your soaking." he said roughly. I was, I was aching for him to touch me to have him inside of me, but he was being a tease.

Sirius continued moving his mouth all over my skin and capture my nipple lightly with is teeth. I shivered as the electricity raced through my veins when he began to suck and flick his tongue over the hardened peaks. He moved lower from my breast, planting kissed down my stomach leaving a trail of goosebumps wherever his mouth had been, before coming to my inner thigh.

I moved my legs farther apart welcoming him but he refused to give me what I wanted. He was content to torture me, kissing, licking, sucking the inside of my legs deliberately avoiding my aching core. "Stop being such a tease." I cried out in frustration and felt him smile against my leg.

He stopped everything all together for a few seconds and I was just about to protest when his mouth pressed down on me and I cried out in bliss and dug my nails into the wood. Finally I thought, and that was my last rational thought for a good while.

I moaned out his name and writhed against him as he teased and tormented me, working his tongue in the most pleasurable ways. He would stop for a few moments and then start again, alternating his many techniques. My toes were curled as I was whimpering and crying out in ecstasy as the pleasure built. He had my head swimming and I was desperately trying to breathe. When he slid his fingers inside of me and began to stroke my inner walls it was too much for a girl to take; I screamed as I came and felt myself spasm around Sirius' fingers.

I was still lying back trying to catch my breath, my body shaking from the climax, when Sirius moved back up and captured my lips with his. I could taste myself on him when his tongue moved against mine.

"I want you so bad." he graoned into my ear. I sat up and tried again to remove his shirt, but this time he let me pull the fabric over his head making sure my nails grazed his warm skin as I did. I had to make this good for him too.

Once he was shirtless he then pulled away and began to unhook his belt and unzip his trousers. I could see when he was free of his clothes that he was fully hard and more than ready. He pulled me to the edge of the table so he wouldn't have to hover over me but could stand. Sirius grabbed one of my legs and rested it on his shoulder and then entered me with a quick thrust at which we both moaned in pleasure. He began sliding in and out with vigor all while continuing to stroke me.

I could feel the heat rising up in my core and was begging for another release when Sirius started thrusting harder and faster. He was saying my name over and over and I could see the sweat glistening on his forehead and chest and his jaw beginning to tense as he pumped furiously inside me.

His eyes were half closed but I could tell he was still watching me. I bit down hard on my lip and then moaned his name as I came and felt him spill himself inside of me as I clamped down around him. He pulled out and grabbing my hands pulled me up against him. "I bet Wuther never did that to you." He growled before kissing me again this time a little softer. I smiled at him still trying to regulate my breathing

"No Sirius, only you can do that to me." I assured him. It was the truth. Wuther was better than Zabini but no one gave me quite the attention Sirius did. The man had mad skills, there was no denying him that.

* * *

We stood in silence for a moment; I had my head laid against his chest when I remembered my demolished house. "Sirius, what in the hell did you do to my house?" I asked him pushing him back a little to gage the damage.

"I got slightly angry." He shrugged grabbing his wand and muttering repairo. As the kitchen began to put itself back in order I asked him "What made you so _slightly _angry that you had to break everything I own?"

His face grew dark for a moment. "Let me show you" Sirius said and he grabbed my hand and drug me naked into the living room. I had the TV and DVD player set up in there and Sirius had managed to figure out how to work it so he turned it on and pressed play. I heard gasping and moaning before I saw any picture.

"You mad because of a porno?" I asked confused, what could possibly infuriate him so much that he trashed the house.

"Wait a second you'll see." He responded without any emotions and just as he did I saw exactly why he was so pissed off.

"Where did you get this?" I asked him frantically.

On the screen were me and Wuther, naked, fucking, fucking hard. I would kill that son of a bitch; I never agreed to be filmed for one thing. (One lesson my mother taught me, if you don't want others seeing something don't tape yourself doing it, it always gets out.) Another thing was that he clearly sent it to my fiancé on purpose. Wuther must die.

I turned the machine off to get rid off that disturbing image. "A package arrived while you were gone, It was addressed to me, didn't say who it was from." He explained. "I saw what it was so I put it on and then I saw that it was you fucking him." Sirius looked very pissed as if I had done something wrong.

"Why are you so mad about this?" I asked curiously. "You were in the damn room when I was with Zabini, and you never flipped out."

He had seen me and Blaise go at it probably dozens of times, so I didn't understand what it was about seeing this video that made him loose his cool. "For one thing I was dead, so there was really nothing I could have done in regards to Zabini, besides that sex was so boring I really had nothing to worry about did I?" Sirius told me as if I should have already known the answer to my question.

"So you're mad that I was having a good time?" I asked cautiously. He glared at me. "No, well yes, yes. I'm mad that you liked what he was doing to you, I'm mad that he was your first, I'm mad that you were in love with him, and I am fucking livid that he had the audacity to send this to me." Sirius yelled ripping the video from the machine and snapping it in half. I was smiling at what he said, it was pretty f'ing cute. He was jealous, that explained why he decided to ravish me in the kitchen. He was trying to prove that he was better in bed, or on the table than Wuther. I grabbed his face between my hands and made him look at me.

"I like what you do to me more, the first time is never that amazing, I am way more in love with you than I ever was him, and he is just trying to get a rise out of you by sending that, so don't worry about it." I told him earnestly addressing his angers. He seemed to calm down a little. It was all the truth. Sirius was so much more important to me than Wuther had ever been.

"Besides you will always have a one up on him seeing as you didn't help murder my family." I shrugged.

"What if he hadn't killed your family, you'd still be with him." Sirius stated.

I shook my head. "No, I would have figured out eventually what kind of person he was. It might have taken me longer to leave him but I would have.' I assured him.

He still looked a little perturbed. "Oh Sirius, come off it. You have no idea how many times I had to fake it with Wuther; you are so much better it's ridiculous."

Men; they get so worked up over performance. The statement did seem to cheer him up though. He smiled and nodded in agreement. I gave him a peck on the lips. "Come on, we should shower and then I want to open my presents before we go to the Weasley's for dinner." I said grabbing his hand and dragging him up the stairs.

"You know maybe I should be thanking Wuther instead of threatening him, he has gotten me laid 5 times in the past 24 hours after all" Sirius said right before he scooped me up in his arms and carried me off to the shower. Merry Christmas to me.

Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review.


	36. Game On

Hi Guys! Thanks for the reviews, they are always appreciated. Here is a new chapter for you. As always I own nothing.

* * *

**Game On**

After our Shower we put on some decent clothes, scooped up the gifts and food I had made the night before and apparated over to the Weasley's for Christmas dinner with the fam. Jen and Charlie had come in from Romania and I was stoked to see my best friend again. It wasn't that I couldn't really see her, all I had to do was apparate, but we were both busy, especially her. Jen liked to keep herself occupied so her brain never had time to remember the awful things that happened to us. I suggested therapy or alcoholism as a much more logical form of recovery, but she was stuck in her ways.

So as Sirius and I apparated onto the snowy front porch of the Burrow I was bombarded by Jen and James, both of whom were desperately trying to avoid Molly Weasley.

"You've gotta help me" they both pleaded at the exact same time. Sirius barked out a laugh at the pair, and grabbed the packages I had been holding.

"They're all yours Darling." He said as he walked into the house leaving me to deal with my children.

"What's wrong?" I asked both of them.

James was quicker to get his story out and Jen glared at him, she was such a nice girl, picking on a 5 year old. "I borrowed Grandmas wand and her bed blew up!"

Me and Jen looked at each other and then James' poor pathetic expression and busted out laughing. "A child after my own heart." Jen managed through her giggles. James began to pout. "It's not that funny! I'm going to be in big trouble." The boy stomped his foot to show us he meant business.

"I'm sorry kid, but the bed blowing up was pretty damn funny." I apologized.

"There are feathers everywhere and a giant hole in the bed! Grandma will kill me when she finds it!" He exclaimed, his dark eyes weeling up with tears. "It's okay James I'll fix it. But what did you do with the wand?"

"I put it back where I got it from." He answered. I shook my head impressed. The boy was clever, Molly would probably never know what happened unless she did the reverse spell thing.

"Okay, go inside I'll try to fix the bed when I get inside" I told him pinching his cheek. "But leave the wands alone from now on huh?" He agreed and then barreled through the door back to his playmates.

* * *

"Okay now what's wrong with you" I asked Jen once we were alone with the door firmly shut.

"That bitch!" Jen groaned, referring to Molly "She's driving me fucking insane!"

I laughed at her; she never could get along with the mother in law. I knew exactly why, they both had very domineering personalities and both thought that they knew best. They clashed at everything, from their looks to their thoughts, to the way they spoke.

"What did she do this time?" I asked.

"She keeps bringing up babies! When am I going to have a baby? Are we trying to have a baby? Don't I want children? Am I being frigid?"

I had to cut her off at that statement. My eyes grew wide in shock. "She did not ask you if you being frigid?" I asked her flabbergasted that Mrs. Weasley would say such a thing. "You two fuck like rabbits."

Jen shook her head at me as if she was in pain. "Oh yes she did. It was so embarrassing; especially when Charlie assured her I was far from cold." I couldn't help but smile at that, if only I had been there to see Molly's face. Then something hit me all of a sudden.

I couldn't believe her skank ass didn't tell me.

"Why don't you just tell her you are pregnant?" I asked knowingly. She looked at me in shock. "How did you know? I don't even know for sure I just had a suspicion!"

I'm good I thought to myself. "Bitch please, your uterus is practically glowing. There is a tiny little baby fetus in there for sure." I said poking at her stomach. She grabbed her belly and smiled.

"I call Godmother!" I practically shouted. Ha ha ha I was getting to be Godmother to all the babies being born, my evil plan was working.

"Shhh" Jen hushed me "I don't want anyone to know before I take the actual test and tell my husband." I pretended to lock up my lips and throw away the key. "Your secret is safe with me, for a while anyway and don't worry about Molly just breathe and it'll all be over soon." I assured her.

"Thanks, Come on lets go inside, I'm hungry and you have a bed to repair." She reminded me.

* * *

We walked into the cozy house. It was decorated in a ridiculous amount of colorful baubles and lights. Arthur had talked Molly into letting him string up blinking multicolor Christmas lights; he was so pleased with himself. But it was enough to give a person a seizure when you came through the door.

I said hello and Merry Christmas to everyone before sneaking upstairs with the excise of I had to use the loo. I crept into Molly and Arthur's room and saw the havoc that James had wreaked upon the bed. There was a giant black, burnt hole dead center, and there was feathers and fluff everywhere.

I really didn't even know how to fix this. So I tried a basic repairo. Shockingly it worked fairly well on the bed. The burn disappeared and it looked as if the mattress had sewn itself back up. Then I went to the window, the feathers where still floating about. I conjured up a giant wingardium leviosa and sent the white fluff out the window to mingle with the snowflakes.

I glanced around the room quite proud of my work and headed back down the stairs for dinner. James was already sitting at the table and I winked at him as I sat down to let him know everything was okay.

"What are you two up too?" Ginny asked knowing her son too well. "Nothing" we both replied at the same time, practically confessing our guilt. Ginny cocked her head at us. I just shrugged as if I had no idea what she was talking about.

Sirius came over too me and handed me a very strong drink that made me cringe when I sipped it. "Are you trying to poison me?" I asked him coughing and sputtering. He smirked at me. "No you have plenty of other people trying to kill you. I'm just trying to get you drunk." He replied.

I didn't see why I needed to be that drunk so early into the evening. But then I heard a screeching woman from upstairs. "You'll need it darling" Sirius said as he clinked his glass to mine in cheers and then downed his entire glass of firewhiskey. James gave me a terrified look and Jen gave me one of pity. I was about to whisper words of comfort to the little boy when a beet red faced Molly Weasley came huffing and puffing down the stairs.

"Who left the window open in my bedroom?" she roared.

Oh shit. That would be me. Had I forgotten to close it? "There is snow leaking through the floors." She sounded like a howler. She sounded like my own mother there for a moment and a wave of nostalgia washed over me.

"Molly, dear really I'm sure it can be easily fixed." Arthur tried to reason with her.

She continued to argue with her husband while I was desperately trying to come up with a good reason as to why I would have been in her room and left the window open. I looked over at James who was going to confess to the whole mess, but I gave him a don't you dare stare.

It was just me, him and Jen and against Grandma Molly, no man gets left behind god damn it. I knew I would have to tell her I did it I just couldn't' think of anything to say without telling the whole story. Molly was really getting irate. Mom's get insane at parties have you noticed? I guess playing hostess is stressful but come on, she was a witch, just a quick drying charm, no harm no foul.

I looked over at Sirius who was leaning back in his chair watching the whole situation, terribly amused. I'm sure he knew I had something to do with the issue, but he was a bastard and didn't even try to help me.

I was just getting ready to open my mouth when Jen shot up out of her chair.

"I'M PREGNANT!" she shouted as loud as she possibly could. At that moment I truly loved her.

Sirius snorted into his glass, Charlie sat there with his mouth hung open catching flies, everyone else sat there dumbstruck trying to process what she had just yelled. But most importantly Molly Jen hating Weasley stopped screaming and plastered a radiant smile on her face. "Oh, I'm so happy!" she shouted for joy and ran over to Jen, grabbed her face and kissed her on the cheek.

"Another Grandchild, Arthur! Oh Charlie!" She was running around hugging and kissing everyone. Ginny and Hermione congratulated Jen and I mouthed a 'thank you' to her. She rolled her eyes at me and mouthed 'you owe me' back. After things calmed down a little everyone sat down to eat dinner.

The conversation was pleasant and Molly seemed to have forgotten all about the window incident. But then of course she had to spoil my happy Christmas. "So Colleen, It looks like it's just you now" She stated. "Have you decided when your going to have a baby? You know women only have so long before they aren't able to have children. How old are you now dear?"

I saw Sirius out of the corner of my eye pouring himself more firewhiskey. We had never really talked about kids; I guess I wanted them, but not this very instant. I hated it when people acted like it was a woman's duty to have children; it's not 1950 for Merlin's sake. Plus it was just bad taste to ask a woman her age. "I still have a good ten years Molly, don't' worry." I said through gritted teeth.

She opened her mouth to say something else when I heard Ginny mutter something from under the table and Celestina Warbuck's Cauldron full of Hot Strong Love started playing on the record machine. "Oh Arthur it's our song!" Molly exclaimed to her husband and forgot all about the baby issue. I smiled at Ginny; she of all people knew how overbearing her mother could be.

* * *

After dinner we all sat around the tree and opened gifts. Lily seemed to love her elephant and giggled uproariously when it walked to her, its trunk swinging. Hmm, I could always start a career as a witch toy designer.

Sirius thoroughly enjoyed his two way mirrors and suggested we do naughty things with them later, basically the wizarding equivalent of phone sex.

Sirius got me an amazing purple diamond cocktail ring that I had seen in a magazine. It was nice to have a rich fiancée who paid attention to what I said. He got brownie points for that.

The night was winding down, the kids were asleep on the floor and the adults were sitting in front of the fire sipping on spiked eggnog and mulled mead. The air was warm and sleepy; I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and my head beginning to rest on Sirius' shoulder.

The peace of the room was severely disturbed by an owl tapping frantically on the window. Charlie got up off the sofa to grab the letter, it was addressed to me. I knew instinctively who it was from, Sirius did to and ripped the letter out of my hand.

"What does that cocksucker want now?" he said as he undid the parchment.

"Sirius give me back the letter, it's illegal to open other peoples mail" I protested. "Not in England" He retorted and read the letter to himself. I think it is illegal in England too.

"You shouldn't read this Colleen" Sirius told me sternly. "What is it?" I asked him, I had to know now, and I grasped at the letter. Sirius held it out of my reach. "Honestly, it's just something to hurt you, or provoke you. It doesn't mean anything."

"Sirius, Give me the god damn letter." I demanded and he reluctantly handed it over. I read the words horrified at what they said.

_Dearest Colleen,_

_Merry Christmas. I hope this letter finds you well, I myself am doing wonderful. It gave me such joy to see you again yesterday; you can't imagine how I've missed you. I thought I'd share a little of Christmas cheer and since I know how innately curious you are, I will share the exact gory details on how your family was murdered. Consider a Christmas Gift from me to you. Well of course you know Bolvechek actually killed them, but did you know I was there? I don't think you did. I was I had the pleasure, of performing the cruciatus curse on them as Bolvechek preformed the killing curse. I must say my job was much more enjoyable, you should have heard how they screamed. Your little sister was the most fun; she begged and pleaded for her life, for the torture to end. It gave me such satisfaction to know I caused her pain, and don't worry I let her know it was entirely your fault. You were such a silly girl, so in love with me you couldn't even see what was really going on. That was your downfall my dear. I hope you don't make the same mistake again. But anyways, I let you get back to your Christmas festivities, I'm sure the Burrow is ripe with Christmas cheer._

_Happy Holidays,_

_John Wuther_

I swallowed hard the bile that was rising up from my stomach as I finished the letter. How dare he, he thought this was funny? Some kind of joke? Had he forgotten what I had done with his master when I was provoked? I was not a bitch to be trifled with. It hurt me to the core to know they were tortured before they were killed. I had always hoped it was quick and easy and it killed me to find out that wasn't true. Still I knew they had forgiven me, that they never blamed me at all, thanks to my talk with Lily Potter. But I knew only one thing. It was over for Wuther. I was done with this. If he thought he was going to ruin my life when I had finally gotten it back together he was dead wrong. I grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote a simple reply.

GAME ON MOTHERFUCKER.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! I'm sorry to all those who like Molly Weasley, i realize I don't write her in the most flattering light, but she always got on my nerves.

Don't forget to review:)


	37. The Calm Before the Storm

HI guys, thanks so much for the reviews you are all great. So I think there will probably be two more chapters after this, I hope you like them.

The Calm Before the Storm

I threw his letter into the fire and tied my reply to the leg of the owl that had been patiently waiting for it.

The room was silent, as if they were waiting for me to blow up or freak out, but I didn't. The concern was written all over their faces, but no one dared to make the first move. Perhaps the fact that I was calm and collected worried them, I know it worried Jen. She had seen me this way once and only once before.

It felt like all the emotions were there, but if I didn't bury them down tight I would explode. So I buried them, they would come later, but now I needed a clear head and a plan of action.

Finally Jen broke the silence. "What did the letter say?" She asked me.

I wouldn't tell her, she couldn't take it. I was not about to stress out the pregnant lady. I hoped in my heart of hearts that her family had been spared the torture even though mine had not.

"He helped kill my family, he was there." I told her, it wasn't a lie, maybe a half truth, but not a lie. Her face dropped and she shook her head in disbelief. "I'm so sorry" she told me genuinely.

Sirius did not call me out on my bluff, I hadn't expected him too.

Jen paused for a moment. "What did you write back?" she asked quietly and carefully. The entire room seemed to be eager to hear my reply.

"I told him game on motherfucker." I said with conviction. This was met with smiles from everyone, even Molly.

"That's my girl" Sirius said and kissed the top of my head.

"So what's going to happen now?" Ron asked taking a bite out of the Yule log. That was a good question. I had just invited Wuther to bring it, or rather challenged him.

"I imagine shit's gonna hit the fan Ron." I smiled.

Wuther would give it all he had now. I wasn't sure if Wuther had others working with him, well I knew Grace was helping out, but that was all so far, still I had to be prepared for anything. He could have an army, for all I knew.

Ron laughed "I suspected as much" he replied.

The droopy eyes and yawns let me know that everyone was exhausted from the days events coupled with the nightcaps, and Sirius and I gathered our things to leave. "Are you going after him?" Ginny asked worried while I grabbed my coat.

"Well not tonight, but I will, he's expecting me." I explained to her. I would go after him, and I would kill him. Maybe I didn't know the extent of my powers just yet but, I would figure them out quick enough.

"We're with you Colleen." Harry assured me putting a hand on my shoulder. It felt good that they had my back. This time I wouldn't be fighting evil completely alone, I would at least have moral support.

"I know, and thank you, but I think this is going to be between me and him, he won't have it any other way." Wuther wanted me dead, he knew exactly where I was and he was waiting for something. He was waiting to attack me alone.

"Well, you still have all the Aurors behind you." He assured me.

I wondered about what his chances were of killing me, and what he had been doing for the past years when everyone thought he was dead. I imagined he was digging deep into the dark arts, of which my knowledge was slim. He would have that over me, but then I was powerful in my own right.

"Well were here for you when you need us." Hermione swore.

I nodded and smiled, of course they were, I had never doubted them.

* * *

Sirius and I said our goodbyes and walked out into the snow. I loved winter, the cold quiet of it always made me feel better. Sirius had his arm wrapped around me as we walked through the frozen village. We were silent for a few minutes, just the sound of the wheels turning in our heads and our feet crunching in the snow.

"He might just be trying to get at you, Colleen. He might have never hurt them at all." Sirius reasoned breaking the silence.

It didn't matter if Wuther had tortured them or not at that point. The point was that he had attacked me in every way possible, and I was done.

"I know Sirius, but this has got to stop. I can't let him ruin my life by being afraid that he might pop out of nowhere and try to murder me." I explained and Sirius shook his head in understanding.

Part of me dreaded confronting Wuther again but another more violent part of me longed for it. I relished in the thought of ripping him to pieces, to make him hurt as bad as I was hurt. He had balls though that I must admit. I was evicted from my god damn country for being a murderess, and here he was provoking me. Yep He had balls, or a death wish.

"I should have killed him for you." Sirius told me miserably "The other night I should have killed him." Oh no, he was going into that protective man faze. He had to protect his little woman. It was kind of cute.

"Sirius, I can take care of myself, I was doing it for years before you showed up." I promised, though it seemed not to make him feel any better.

"We have to find him first, you know. As all of the English Aurors couldn't find him, it may be difficult for you." He told me. I wasn't worried.

"I know exactly where he'll be." I assured Sirius. "Let's just go home and sleep huh?" I suggested. I was done dealing with this tonight.

* * *

I was dead tired by that point; shagging, liquor, Christmas and emotional upheavals all in one day were just too much. We apparated home and I immediately threw on my pajamas and fell into the fluffy bed. I felt Sirius climb in next to me and he threw an arm over my body and pulled me into his chest. He was drawing pictures on my back and the fire in my room was crackling. The room was dimly lit and warm, it was a haven.

Despite someone actively trying to kill me, I felt perfectly serene and was never so happy that I was a witch. I may have had more family, and less hardships as a muggle but I wouldn't have Sirius. I wouldn't have ever known what it felt like to be madly in love with someone so much that your skin burned at their touch and the breath was sucked out of your body by a kiss. I knew I loved him, I knew he made me happy but I don't think I really truly let myself feel it until that moment.

I rolled over so I was looking at him, and buried my face in his neck. He smelled like him, my favorite smell and I inhaled deep so I wouldn't forget it, "just in case" I thought. He wasn't wearing a shirt and I paid close attention to the way his skin was warm in some parts and cold in others. Little goosebumps popped up on his shoulder as I ran my hand down his arm.

"I love you Sirius" I told him. It was the only time I had said it first. He looked suspicious and tried to interrupt but I covered his mouth and continued, it was important for me to get this all out. "Let me finish" I told him and he nodded so I removed my hand from his face.

"I love you and you were worth it." He should know how I felt about him, what I really felt. "You were worth every horrible thing that ever happened to me and I would suffer thorough it all again in an instant so long as I got to have you in the end." I was embarrassed at my fluffiness and not sure how he would react to it, but I didn't want to regret things unsaid later. He was quiet for a moment as if processing everything.

"Your not going to die Colleen, I won't let you die." He told me sincerely and pulled me closer into him.

I suppose he knew me too well, he knew I wouldn't be so mushy unless I was worried that I might not get the chance to tell him how important he was.

"I might, we don't know." I said honestly with as much courage as I could muster. I sure as hell did not want to die, especially now that I had a life and was happy with it, but was there a chance for death? Certainly, there always was.

He looked at me sternly

"I forbid you to die." As if his lack of permission could stop fate, or Wuther. I smiled at him "I'll do my best not to."

He kissed me very slowly, and I took the opportunity to memorize the way his lips felt against mine, and his taste: cigarettes, firewhiskey and peppermint. When he pulled away he contemplated for a minute. "You were worth it too Darling, you know you were. All the deaths and Azkaban, and the bloody ghost thing, and lets not forget the jealousy and the fights for your honor… you do get me into a lot of trouble don't you? Still I wouldn't change a thing." He promised.

* * *

I fell asleep with that thought in my head, and although nightmares should have been swarming my dreams there were none. I woke up at ten the next morning, perfectly calm and without any anxiety. I was beaming with a confidence I had never known before, and had no idea where it came from.

Then Sirius came bounding up the stairs with a letter in his hands. "Hermione wrote" he said throwing me the parchment. "They found Grace's body in the Ministry Fountain." I read over the note.

The wizarding police had been contacted at 8'oclock that morning because a body had been placed in the fountain. When Hermione got there she recognized the body as Grace. She had been dead for only about 4 hours and had a message etched into her torso. "As you wish Princess." No one knew what this phrase meant, except Hermione and she had kept her mouth shut about it. Still she put the police on the lookout for Wuther and contacted the Aurors. Sirius had to go to the ministry immediately to help.

I felt bad and guilty at what Grace had been through, she was a bitch but she didn't deserve to be murdered by Wuther. For all I knew he could have had her under the imperius curse the whole time, and I mustn't speak ill of the dead right?

"How nice, Wuther's sent me a calling card." I mused.

Sirius gave me an annoyed look and balled up his fists tight. "I'm glad you're taking this so lightly darling." He yelled. "The man that is trying to kill you just killed someone, then broke into the ministry and left her in the bloody fountain, and your not worried?"

Oddly I was not worried; that calm confidence I had woken up with was still with me. I felt almost untouchable and I couldn't' make the feeling go away. I knew it wasn't wise to be so unaffected by Wuther, but my chemicals and hormones apparently thought different.

"I'm not worried Sirius" I told my very worked up fiancé. "He's just fucking with me, he's making the same mistake Bolvechek did, This psychological torture they so love to put me through, doesn't break me it makes me want to fight harder." I explained with a nonchalant wave of my hand. "As for Grace, she was dead the moment she signed on with him, once he was done with her, he disposed of her."

I had honestly been expecting Grace's death. I knew once she started working with Wuther, her time wouldn't be long on this planet. He used people, that was all. "Well I'm still expected to go into the office and help find him, So get ready you're coming with me." he said as he rifled through my closet and pulled out a robe for me to wear.

"He's not here Sirius, there's no point looking for him." I told him as I put the clothes on obligingly. "There's really no reason for me to go with you."

"Where is he then? If you know something, tell me." Sirius demanded. I didn't know exactly where Wuther was but I would have bet my last Galleon that he was not in England. "I'm not sure, but I doubt you'll find him if he doesn't want you too."

Sirius looked like he was going to flip out at any moment, and then he did. "God damn it!" he shouted as he picked up the stool to my vanity and threw it into the mirror. The glass shattered all over the floor and he calmed down a little. I smiled at him "Do you feel better?" I asked as I repaired the mirror then went over to hug him. "I'm not going to let him hurt you." Sirius promised me. I knew he would do everything in his power to keep Wuther from hurting me, but would it be enough? As soon as the doubt entered my mind, the peaceful confidence returned to sweep it away.

I could get used to this.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	38. Ask and You Shall Receive

**Thank you all for reading! So 1 more chapter and then an epilogue. I'm kind of sad about it :( I still don't own anything either.**

**Ask and You Shall Receive**

When we arrived at the ministry everyone was in a panic. Unfortunately quite a few people had seen Grace in the fountain and were severely traumatized by the sight. I can't say I blame them, if your not used to blood and death, the naked, carved up corpse of a supermodel might disrupt your daily routine. Thus healers had flocked to the ministry and were shoving calming and anti-shock potions down people's throats as they were being questioned by the police.

Only the Aurors currently knew that it had been Wuther or Davis as he was previously known, that had murdered Grace.

"You've got to tell the prophet who did it Harry." I told him "Everyone is going to freak out if they think a murderer is on the loose, or their going to think it's me, in retaliation."

It had recently dawned on me that I had a great motive for this crime, and people who knew my history would be pointing fingers. "I hadn't thought about that" Harry responded and agreed to alert the Prophet and the Quibbler.

"So what is the plan for finding Wuther?" Ron asked me, Sirius and Harry. Harry and Sirius shrugged and looked at me. Great Aurors huh?

"I don't know where he is, I doubt he'll be easy to find though." I lied.

I had this feeling he was at my parent's house…or where my parent's house had been, but I didn't tell them this. I didn't know what Wuther had planned, or what he was even capable of, and they were not going to die because of me. I knew that they had all fought Voldemort and Death Eaters, and they were Aurors, but I couldn't let them fight this battle for me. If they died protecting me I would never be able to forgive myself, so I wouldn't give them the chance. I would do this alone.

Wuther would expect me to be torn up by the letter and shook up by Grace's death, he would expect me to go to the house where my family had been murdered. The funny thing was I really had no real desire to go there; I had made my peace with my family after speaking with Lily. But Wuther had no idea about that conversation, and he didn't know me well enough to determine my actions, luckily I knew exactly the way he thought.

"Well, first we'll put flyers with his face, or Davis' face out, and see if anyone had seen him yesterday or knows where he lives." Harry said decisively. "Then we can just start looking everywhere for him" Sirius said "We'll contact the American Aurors and let them know what's going on, ask them if they know where he might be." They all agreed on that plan of action and began bustling around trying to get started.

"Darling, stay here okay." Sirius told me and kissed my forehead before disapparating. How patronizing! He would be so mad if he knew what I was going to do.

* * *

So because I had no idea what Wuther had in store for me, and figured that this moment could possibly one of my last, I decided to write goodbye letters to everyone. If I didn't actually die they would probably be very corny, but I wanted to let all my friends know how much I loved them and how much I would miss them.

I started with Jen. Hers would be the hardest and I was sure she would never forgive me for going after Wuther by myself, but I knew she'd be okay she had Charlie and the baby now.

_Dear Jen,_

_I'm going after Wuther, it might be crazy but I am so done with his shit. I'm going alone- no one else is going to ever die because of me. So just in case I don't make it back I wanted to tell you're my best friend and I love you. I'll miss your crazy ass so much, and I'm sorry that I won't be there for the baby, but I know you'll be fine, you always are. I can't possibly put into words how much you mean to me or how much you've helped me through my life, especially the last couple of years. I would not have survived this long without you. I honestly hope a week from now we can look at this letter and laugh at the fact that I thought I was going to die, but in case we can't know I've got your back as always. P.I.C. 4 ever. Colleen _

Even as I wrote my goodbyes my calm demeanor from earlier had never left; maybe I was in a state of denial? I went down the list, Harry Hermione, Ron and Ginny. Lily, Al and James.

_Dear James,_

_Hey little man, I might be going away for a long time and wanted to properly say goodbye just in case. So I will enclose tips for staying out of trouble as I think you might need that most, especially after the Christmas incident. Perfect your smile, it is one of the only surefire ways I know to get out any predicament. Practice looking shameful, people will feel bad for punishing you. If you get caught, use judgment when deciding whether or not to deny your guilt. Don't be afraid to be a little naughty, but don't hurt others either- by your words or actions, you'll regret it later. Respect your mother! She gave you life and can take it away. In fact respect all women, once again you'll regret it if you don't. Ladies always like a gentlemen. I will miss you so much, if I do have to go away, but I'll think of you often. No one makes me laugh quite like you do. Love, Auntie Colleen _

Finally it was time to write Sirius' letter. I didn't know what to say at first. How could I write a goodbye to him? He was everything to me and I felt almost like I was betraying him by, putting myself in this situation.

_Dear Sirius,_

_So, I know you're going to be angry at me, but I have to do this on my own. I know where Wuther is and I'm going after him. Please don't come looking for me, I can't have him hurt you or anyone else I love. Forgive me please? Okay so I've been thinking about what to write in this, and I don't know. How can I possibly explain what you mean to me? I can't, so I'll let the Pogues speak for me. All I can say is that I'll love you till the end. And then some. Colleen_

_

* * *

_

I sealed the envelopes and went in search of a couple of owls. I found two who were more than willing to take the job, and I instructed them to wait an hour before delivering the letters. They hooted an agreement and I took a deep breath before disapparating.

It was still early morning in Chicago, the sun had not even begun to rise when I popped into the empty lot where my home had once stood.

"I thought you would come." Wuther said stepping out of the shadows and into the light from the street lamp.

He startled me a bit and I jumped; Wuther laughed as I did this.

"Calm down, you shouldn't be so afraid to die, you knew this was coming." He said mockingly.

I did know this was coming, but I was not prepared to die, I was not going to die damn it. I noticed he had put a muggle deflecting spell on the property. No non magical person would see or hear any of what was going on, even though the neighbors were only 10 feet away.

He began to circle me in a predatory manor and I couldn't help but be intimidated. He was _trying_ to intimidate me; it would be so much easier for him if I didn't fight back. Still I tried to man up and show him that I wasn't afraid, but I was. I had actually been less afraid when I fought Bolvechek, but then I think I was temporarily insane for that one and also I had nothing to loose really. Now, I had a lot to loose. Then right as I thought my fear would take over, that strange wave of calm and confidence took over. What the hell was this?

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him.

I deserved to know why he was attempting to ruin my life. He could have just left me alone after the war, but nooo he had to be a douchebag.

He continued to circle me slowly" Why not?" he answered smugly.

That was not quite the one I was looking for but it looked like that was all I was going to get.

"Fine" I answered curtly and he smiled a sickly sweet smile before pointing his wand at me and shooting a Crucio at me. Everything around me became slow motion, and this allowed me to move out of the way before the spell hit me. I counterattacked with a stunning spell; I never could get the hang of those Crucios or the AKs. I preferred killing people the old fashioned way.

Unfortunately he was very fast and the curse missed him. We dueled for a few minutes more, both of us were silent except for the both of us trying to catch our breath. After about 20 minutes of dueling, I was tiring. There was no way I could keep this up for much longer, and at the exact moment I thought this, I was hit with a searing pain. He had hit me with the Cruciatus curse. One would think that you would get used to the feeling of this curse after it had been used on you a few dozen times, but you don't. I could hear myself screaming in agony, it felt like every nerve I had was being burnt with acid. There is no true way to explain the pain; unless you have experienced it you can never know.

Of course the pain is so intense that there is really no rational thoughts in your mind, you have to detach yourself because it is just too much to take. This is why people go crazy when tortured. But somehow while Wuther was performing the curse, I thought of Godiva DeLacy, the late bloomer and inventor of this lovely little curse. As I did this I heard a commotion and suddenly Wuther stopped. I was still in terrible pain, the torture leaves your body severely sore, and sort of disorientated, but I was able to sit up. I saw a ghost, not the normal kind, but the same that Sirius had been.

I knew this Ghost; I had seen her picture in the history books. She had large blue eyes that bore into Wuther and long beautiful auburn hair that was flowing behind her as she held him off, stopping him from hurting me. It was DeLacy and she had immobilized Wuther somehow. He was struggling with his wand; it would not perform the spells he was shouting.

He looked confused and slightly frightened by the Spirit and this bought me time. I was extremely confused, but was able to compose myself enough to grab my wand and begin my assault on him again. As I did this the ghostly woman disappeared and to Wuther's relief his wand worked fine once more. We went back to firing curses and hexes at each other; he showed no signs of fatigue at all.

"Just give up princess! You can't win." He shouted to me and I was hit with a Petrifying spell. I was lying helpless on the grass; paralyzed and terrified. This was it, this was how I was going to die, right where the rest of my family had, fitting.

I needed a miracle if I wanted to live.

"Ask and you shall receive" said a voice in my head.

* * *

All of a sudden I heard the largest clap of thunder coupled with 7 vicious flashes of lighting. One by one 30 of those ghosts, all women, all Late in life witches popped into the empty field where Wuther and I were fighting. They all looked different, and wore the dress customary from there time and culture. His mouth flew open, astonished as the women surrounded him. I knew he recognized them too. The scene was eerie, right out of a horror movie. The women were silent as they moved towards him; they didn't speak nor did their feet make any noise on the earth as they walked. I could hear Wuther screaming though. Good I thought to myself, he needed to be truly terrified for once in his life.

Amongst Wuther's screams I began to hear the pops of apparition and was suddenly unfrozen and being picked up by Sirius. "I am going to kill you." He said dead serious as he brushed the grass from my hair. I smiled apologetically and shook my head in agreement and total acceptance then turned to where Wuther was standing.

The women were still circling him- I could tell he was trying to dissaparate, use his wand, run, but they were holding him there. He continued to scream for help but I, as well as all the Aurors that had come to rescue me, stayed still watching in awe. Sirius had his arm around me and I was pulled against him tightly. I looked up at him and saw that he was transfixed on those ghostly women; his eyes squinted in interest and confusion.

All at once the women stopped moving towards Wuther, they were so close to them I was sure that they had to be touching him and I remembered the cold feeling I used to get whenever ghost Sirius would touch me. Wuther had stopped screaming and was now just panting heavily in fear and anticipation I imagine. Ming Li, the first known late in life witch finally spoke. I didn't know how she knew English, she was from 7th century China. Do they have ESL in the afterlife? Her voice was soft and almost spooky, with just a hint of an accent. "When you hurt one, you hurt us all." She stated quietly motioning to me and then to the other women.

"I'm sorry." Wuther pleaded but she silenced him with a simple hand motion and a shake of her head. She was a badass

"It's much too late for that" Said an African witch that I didn't recognize.

"You have to pay" DeLacy chimed in with a coquettish French accent looking like she was more than happy to make him pay.

"No, No please." Wuther fell to his knees and begged them.

The women laughed at him. Harry, Sirius and the other Aurors continued to watch in silence as the sun began to rise. I noticed the sky was a brilliant pink color and the wind was blowing gently when DeLacy used her invention on Wuther. It's funny the little details you remember in such important moments. It was an important moment for me, my old life was completely over, there was no one left to hurt me again.

DeLacy quietly and serenely spoke the words Avada Kedavra. A bright flash of green erupted from inside the circle, the magic came from the women, not from wands. I heard Wuther Scream one last time and then as if they had never been there at all, the ghosts disappeared, leaving only the crumpled body of my former lover on the ground as evidence. All those left alive looked at each other dumbstruck.

* * *

"What the bloody hell was that?" Ron shouted before going over to Wuther and kicking him to make sure he was really dead. Sirius, Harry and the other Aurors looked to me for answers. "They were the other Late in life witches." I explained although it didn't seem to ease their confusion.

"He's definitely dead!" Ron shouted picking up Wuther's arm and letting it fall back to the ground with a thud.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked "What happened before we got here?" I explained to them that he had used the cruciatus curse on me but DeLacy had stopped him and how I was petrified and then all the ghosts came to my rescue.

"I'll be okay" I assured him. "How did you know where I was?" I asked them. Sirius was the only one who knew about this place so it must have been him.

"We got your letters. Sirius had a hunch and luckily he was right, though you didn't really need us did you?" Harry answered.

I noticed that Sirius had remained silent the entire time; this was not a good sign. I looked up at him "I'm sorry Sirius; I just didn't want anyone else to get hurt." I said trying to explain my thought process for this ordeal.

He still didn't speak for a moment and then I wished he had stayed silent. "You are such a fucking bitch!" he shouted at me. shit I was in trouble. "How could you do that to me? You weren't worried about anyone else getting hurt, you just wanted to prove that you could take Wuther, and you couldn't even do that!"

How could he think that? I didn't want anyone else to die because of my problems, I wasn't looking for glory. "Sirius that's not…" I started but he cut me off.

" Don't even fucking start Colleen. You are the most selfish fucking person I know! Did you even think of how I would feel if you died- how Jen or all your friends would feel?"

I knew they would be sad, but they would move on, death happens, and fortunately it didn't happen so I couldn't see why he was so mad. "Of course I knew you'd be upset, but I wrote you those letters…"

Sirius glared at me and reached into his robes, grabbed out the letter and tore it to shreds. "Those letters were just melodramatic bullshit! If I wasn't worried about those ghost women coming to get me, I would strangle you right now" he threatened.

He was so mad at me for almost getting killed he was going to murder me? That was just ludicrous. While Sirius was ranting Harry and Ron were standing uncomfortably and trying to distract themselves with Wuther's body. The other Aurors, whom I didn't know, had left as soon as the argument had broken out.

"Sirius, shut up." I told him "I love you, and I didn't want you to get hurt or die trying to protect me okay. I didn't want to prove myself or look like a badass. I just didn't want to loose anyone else." I told him sincerely and his face softened a bit, so I knew he believed me even if he wasn't ready to forgive me just yet.

"You need to go to St. Mungo's to make sure you're alright." He said ending our argument and letting me know that I was somewhat exonerated. I shook my head in agreement; I could really use a pain killing potion.

"I'm taking her to Hospital" Sirius told Harry and Ron.

"We'll take care of the body" Harry assured me.

"Can you stick his head on the Tower Bridge?" I asked hopefully. Harry and Ron laughed and Sirius' lips twitched though he was still too angry to smile.

"We'll see what we can do." Harry promised.

* * *

Sirius apparated us to the hospital where I was surrounded by medi wizards and healers. Once again I found myself having potions poured down my throat; though this time I was thankful for them. After they had patched me up Sirius and I were left alone in my room. He was staring off into space refusing to look at me.

"Are you ever going to speak to me again?" I asked him miserably. I really hadn't wanted to hurt him, I had wanted to save him from being hurt. Perhaps my reasoning was a little selfish when I though about it. I knew I couldn't live without him, so I put myself in harms way, not thinking about whether he could live without me. But I just kind of figured he would get over it.

He still did not speak. "Sirius, come on, I've had a really bad day, I don't need you to make it worse." I said angrily. His silent treatment was getting old fast, he was such a little bitch.

"Really? Your day was bad?" he asked me sarcastically " Did you go out to find the man trying to kill your fiancé and come back only to get a goodbye letter from said fiancé? You have now ruined that song for me and I have never been so fucking scared in my fucking life!" He was being a bit dramatic I thought.

"Yes my day was bad! I was tortured by my ex fiancé who brutally murdered my entire family, I say that wins Sirius." I yelled at him and then I started to cry.

I didn't mean to or want to; I was not using the tears to manipulate him like I usually did. I was just exhausted and frazzled. A lot of shit had gone down that day. But he did hate to see me cry.

"Darling, darling come on, don't cry" he said softly and moved over to sit on my bed. He put his arms around me and laid back, as I cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you really, I was just worried." He admitted. I knew this already though of course. "I know" I sniffled. "I'm sorry" We stayed like that for a while until the healers came in and said if I felt okay I could go home.

I definitely wanted to go home and sleep for 5 years. I changed into my pj's and lay down in my fluffy bed, with Sirius next to me. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard the pop of apparitions. I groaned.

"Colleen I'll kill you!" I heard Jen yell from downstairs. I guess she heard I hadn't died


	39. A Wedding with Fireworks

**The Last Chapter! Well I made an epilogue, but this is basically it. I'm sad, I have been writing this story for the better part of a year and have become very attached. Thanks to everyone who has read the story up till know and to all the reviewers, it was much appreciated. Hope you like this!**

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**A Wedding with Fireworks**

Luckily Jen did not kill me that day, and we did laugh about the fact that I thought I was going to die and wrote everybody corny notes of goodbye. My life had never been better; after Wuther was killed it was like I could finally breathe. I no longer worried about dying, I still worried about Sirius a little due to his career choice, but I knew he was capable of handling himself.

So after all that stress was over I still had to plan a wedding, and honestly I think battling evil wizards was easier. Making sure everything was perfect and to my taste was tiring, and Sirius really didn't care about the ceremony or reception, so he was no help, but Jen, Ginny and Hermione were godsends.

* * *

So it was the 1st of May, the sun was shining and I was sweating under makeup lights and a curling iron. The big day had finally arrived and I was really f-ing nervous. I kept having this nightmare that Sirius would change his mind and not show, or would be sucked back into the veil never to be seen again.

My stomach had hippogriffs flying in it once again, only this time it was not a good feeling. Jen, Ginny and Hermione were standing in their dark purple gowns waiting patiently for my hair to be finished. Lily and Rose where also there in their little white dresses, staring out the window towards where the flowers and chairs where being set up after throwing a fit about their dresses.

"I can't believe I have to be 5 months pregnant for this wedding. I'm going to look like and elephant in the pictures" Jen whined and rubbed her tummy.

Her belly was big, but she was nowhere near the size of an elephant, maybe a rhinoceros, maybe. She had found out that she was having a boy and they were naming it Dorian. Charlie was ecstatic to be having a son, although he would have been equally excited if it was a girl I'm sure.

"You'll look fine, we'll Photoshop them if you want." I assured her.

I wasn't sure if this was possible with wizarding photos but you would think with all that magic there had to be some way to make a person look thin in a photo. I had a muggle camera taking pictures too. I actually liked still pictures better, they captured a moment perfectly; you didn't get that with wizarding pics.

"But Sirius isn't coming anyway, it'll be just like that episode of Bridezillas, the groom is a no show and they still have to have the party, it was so depressing." I said miserably and all three girls rolled there eyes at me.

"What the hell is Bridezillas?" Ginny asked confused and I ignored her.

"Would you stop worrying, I just checked 10 minutes ago, he's getting ready." Hermione reminded me again.

She was right, I was being ridiculous, Sirius had already given me my gift and everything. He wouldn't ditch me after he already gave me the jewelry would he? No, of course he wouldn't. He had given me a simple pair of diamond stud earrings set in platinum, but they were huge and perfect. I was wearing the choker he had given me for Christmas two years ago so the rest of the jewelry had to be simple.

I had given him my grandfather's pocket watch. It had been in my family for generations and I was able to salvage it from the rubble of my house. The one regret I had for this day was that my family wasn't here. I knew they would be watching me, but the lack of their physical presence hit me hard. I had always planned for my mom and dad to both walk me down the aisle, Charlie had stepped up and offered to give me away. I had cancelled the father daughter dance and the mother son dance, as Sirius and I were both orphans, not that his mother would have attended the ceremony anyway. I seriously considered dragging her portrait out and putting it right in the front but Ginny said she would cause too much of a commotion so I scratched that idea.

* * *

After and hour my hair was finally finished and it was time for me to get my dress on. The ceremony was going to start in 10 minutes and I was about to have a heart attack. I was standing in my Bride panties as Hermione held onto me as Jen and Ginny pulled the dress on and buttoned up the back. Once I was fully dress, with my veil intact and jewelry on they stepped back to look at me.

"Do I look okay?" I asked them not daring to look into the mirror just yet. Jen was crying, baby hormones, I swear. "Is it that bad?" I joked with her. She shook her head no and wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"You look beautiful. I wish your mom could see you."

That bitch, she had to go and say that didn't she? Now I was about to cry, and then my hours of makeup would be ruined.

Ginny and Hermione looked at each other frantically and began to fan my face to stave off the tears. Luckily at that moment James and Al burst into the room and Ginny yelled at them "This is a lady's changing room! What are you doing, you would have seen her naked 2 minutes ago." She scolded them and pointed to me. They both made a disgusted face, thanks guys. "Sirius told us to make sure you haven't changed your mind." James told me. So he was nervous too, that made me feel a little better.

"Tell him Ill meet him at the end of the aisle in 5 minutes." I told the boys and they ran out of the room to tell the groom my reply.

I walked to the mirror and looked at myself, it almost didn't look like me. My hair was left down but I had it curled and I chose to wear a muggle wedding gown since I had been one for so long, besides the brides wedding robes were too similar to the grooms. The dress was ivory with long lace sleeves and a gathered ball gown skirt. It looked 1860's vintage and I had fallen in love with it as soon as I tried it on.

"Okay" I said and took a deep breath . "Are we ready?" I asked them "Jen have you composed yourself?" She laughed at me and shook her head yes.

Charlie met me at the front entrance; the wedding and ceremony were taking place on the grounds of a gorgeous ancient English castle. We would all walk out of a huge set of mahogany doors and then make our way down the aisle. I looked out the window and saw the official and Sirius standing at the end of the purple silk aisle rug and saw Harry, Ron and James were in the back waiting to escort the bridesmaids to the front. So at least I knew Sirius hadn't bailed on me, now I just had to get to him without tripping and make sure I said the right words. I didn't want a repeat of the proposal.

I heard cannon in D begin to play and stepped off to the side with Charlie as the foot men opened the giant doors so no one could see me. Hermione gave me a smile and took Ron's arm then walked down the aisle, followed by Ginny and James and then finally Jen and Harry.

"You'll be fine" Jen reassured me before grabbing Harry's arm.

Al, Hugo, Rose, and Lily grabbed hold of each other and went down the aisle.

Rose was tossing flower petals violently onto the floor, she was not happy about that itchy dress, and Al held onto the rings. Of course he tripped midway, sending the bands flying and knocking the other children onto the floor. Lily and Hugo were crying, and the guests were laughing their asses off, apparently they thought it was cute. So my bridesmaids had to run back and get their children and the wedding bands. Ginny was telling Al it was okay and not to be embarrassed as his face grew redder and redder.

I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life, I think I peed my pants. I could hear Sirius barking out his own laugh as all of this went down.

Charlie looked at me once everyone was in their proper places.

"You ready kid?" he asked.

"Now or never right?" I replied and the trumpet Voluntary began to play.

This was it, but all of a sudden the nervousness floated away and I was really excited. Charlie and I stepped out into the sun and began our march; it went off without a hitch. Sirius winked at me as I walked towards him and I giggled a little bit. Charlie pulled back my veil, shook Sirius' hand and I was passed off to him.

The Official did his thing and I waited for my turn to speak. We said our I will's and exchanged rings the whole ceremony just kind of breezed by. "I now declare you bonded for life" The Official said "You may kiss the bride."

I couldn't believe it was over so quickly, but I turned to look at my husband, that word felt weird, but I had better get used to it. He was beaming and I knew my face mirrored his as he bent down to kiss me. Our lips touched and everything changed. I knew magic was involved in wizarding marriages, but I hadn't been prepared for this feeling.

It felt like the first time he had kissed me, all the nerve endings firing with pleasure and we were bound together by that kiss. We pulled apart after a few seconds and he smacked my ass. I, and the crowd laughed and I thanked Merlin this wedding wasn't in a church. We exited the ceremony and met up with everyone for pictures while the guests had cocktails in the garden.

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The wedding photos weren't amazing, they weren't really us. The photographer Bob kept making us do these weird poses and stare soulfully into each other's eyes while keeping a straight face. Of course we were both cracking up and got in trouble from the photographer who was trying to be artsy.

"Now sit on his lap and put the flower in his mouth." Bob instructed. Both Sirius and I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind, but complied after he glared at us.

"I never thought I would be so terrified of my wedding photographer." I whispered to Sirius once I was seated on top of his lap.

He laughed. "I know it's like Voldemort came back to life in the form of a struggling artist." I shrugged and shoved the rose stem into his mouth.

After that torture we got to eat and then cut the cake. Then the best part began. I decided for such a celebration lots of liquor was needed. Jen was pissed that she couldn't drink, but that didn't stop anyone else, besides Charlie who was trying to be nice. Molly Weasley came up to me hugging and crying all over the place; Arthur skillfully moved her away admitting that she might have had a bit too much champagne.

"Shots for the bride!" Sirius ran up to me and dumped a vodka shot down my throat and then one down his own. I coughed and sputtered. "You know we're married now, you don't have to get me drunk to make me love you." I reminded him.

"I know" he slurred slightly and kissed my neck. "Why don't we blow this party and I'll show you how much I love you… that means we'll have sex." He made himself clear just in case I hadn't caught onto his innuendo. "Sirius, we haven't even danced our dance yet, we can't leave." I told him laughing and he pouted.

The pictures we got back from the reception were much better, because they mostly consisted of me, Sirius and our friends dancing drunkenly around the room. I was pretty wasted by the 10pm and my groom was looking the same way.

Wizards didn't do the whole garter throwing thing, but Sirius decided that he was not going to pass up the chance to feel me up in front of everyone we knew. So he threw himself under my skirt and pulled the blue garter off, kissing down the length of my leg as he did so. I was red with embarrassment after he emerged, looking triumphant and thoroughly pleased with himself.

* * *

At midnight the lights turned on and the party was over, I was about to pass out anyway so this was a good thing. Sirius and I were the first leave, we stumbled out of the ballroom and climbed, or rather crawled to our hotel room. We both collapsed onto the bed as soon as we got in. We were tired and drunk, passed out in our gown and robe.

"It's our wedding night, we have to have sex." Sirius slurred and attempted to remove his clothing.

I groaned and shoved my face into the pillow. I knew he was right but I was exhausted. I wonder if he would mind if I just slept and gave him free reign to do what he wanted?

"I'm too tired and drunk" I protested as he rolled me onto my back. I looked up at him, well both of him. I could tell he was just as wasted as I was, he had a google eye.

"Come on Darling, we have to." He whined and began pushing my skirt up around my waist. He was right and I kind of wanted to, I was just very sleepy. "Fine, but don't expect fireworks." I warned him.

As usual there were fireworks.

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Thanks for reading! Please review?


	40. Famous Last Words

**This is the end! I'm very sad, and want to thank everyone who has read this story especially the reviewers. I hope you like the epilogue:)

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Epilogue: 12 years later

I was wringing my hands as Sirius was driving us to Kings Cross Station and Platform 9 3/4 . He had decided many years ago that, after our first car ride together in which he was still a ghost, that I should never be allowed to drive in England. So he was taking us to the station where my Baby Gemma would be leaving me for Hogwarts. I was not happy that day, where I'm from kids don't leave home until their 18. Even the Bailey's I had so cleverly disguised in my coffee was not helping to calm my nerves.

"Mum, did you pack my toothbrush?" Gem asked. I could tell she was a little nervous, but she was brave and hid it with excitement. I had a feeling she would be put in Gryffindor; Sirius would be thrilled. "Yes, I packed everything you will ever need and then some." I assured her.

"I can't wait to go to Hogwarts" Maia chimed in happily.

Sirius and I ended up with 5 kids, faulty contraceptive potion I think, I just kept popping them out. They all looked like Sirius, except that Gemma and Phoenix had my green eyes. You'd think I went through all that trouble to birth them, they could at least look like my children, but no.

I had managed to talk Sirius into giving them all Constellations and star names in keeping with his family tradition. I thought it was cool, and I convinced him that everyone would know the kids were Blacks, and we might as well go big or go home. Besides I was sure my children would be decent members of society so there was nothing to worry about. Sirius couldn't hate the Blacks anymore, because we were the only ones left, well McAvoy-Blacks, but still.

"You'll all be there soon enough" Sirius assured them "Then I think our family will make up half the population of Hogwarts."

It was true we were taking over the place. Teddy and Victoire had gotten married, effectively uniting the McAvoy-Black, Potter and Weasley families. There were about 20 kids between us, someone in every house; although I was pretty sure Sirius would have had a heart attack if one of his kids were put into Slytherin.

Suddenly I heard an "Eww" from the back seat "Mum, Phoenix peed!" S.J yelled.

I turned back and had to stifle a laugh. Nix had peed his pants and was currently stripping off all his clothes.

"Mum, his pee got on me! Electra cried out. Everyone was screaming and yelling and Phoenix was crying.

"What the bloody hell are they doing back there?" Sirius asked me trying to stay focused on the busy road.

"Your son peed his pants and is now nude in the back seat." I responded and Sirius barked out a laugh.

I climbed over the seat of the car to get to phoenix and clean the peed on children up. I was so thankful I was a witch sometimes, this would have been way worse without a wand.

"Hurry mum, it's so gross!" Electra yelled and Nix cried harder out of embarrassment. I hit them three of them with a drying spell and then comforted my crying child.

"It's fine Nix, everybody has accidents. Why didn't you tell me you had to go potty before we left?" I asked him as I helped get him redressed.

He was only 3 and shit happens.

"Phoenix peed his pants! He's a baby!" S.J taunted. I gave my eldest son my best knock it off glare, the one I had perfected on his father. He didn't really care, just like his father and continued his taunt.

"Sirius Orion McAvoy Black, do not make me pull this car over!" Sirius turned around and yelled; I had to bite down hard to stop myself from laughing. Just then I heard a car horn and Sirius turned the wheel hard and I flew onto the ground. All the kids screamed and Sirius was cursing out the other driver as he straightened the vehicle out.

"Daddy! Don't swear!" Electra scolded Sirius as if her ears had been violated. They hadn't; Sirius swore all the damn time, but I did yell at him for it. "Dad you're going to kill us!" Gemma shouted. Sirius ignored her

"Are you alright Darling?" he asked me as I picked myself up of the floor and climbed back into the front seat. "I'm okay." I told him, and prayed to God that we would get to the station soon.

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The car was parked and we were unloading Gemma's trunk and her cat Pyewacket. I might not have been ready for my daughter to leave but I was sure as hell ready to get rid of her devil cat. Sirius had gotten him for her the week before, as a pre Hogwarts gift, and the thing spent the whole week plotting my death. The gashes on my leg were a mile long.

"Are you ready Gem?" Sirius asked her, I knew he wasn't ready for her to go either, he was just hiding better. "Yep" she answered a little doubtfully. He smiled "You'll have the best time, don't worry." Sirius assured her.

I really don't know how the muggles didn't realize there were witches and wizards, it was pretty frickin obvious. Our family dressed in muggle clothes for things like this, but half of the magical people didn't. Thus there were families in robes, with huge trunks and owls in cages running through a wall, and no one noticed? We all ran through the wall and stood on the smoky platform surrounded by hundreds of other people. I was scanning the crowd for a familiar faces, we were supposed to meet the Potters and Weasley's here at 10:30 and it was 5 after that.

"Where are they?" Sirius asked out loud, searching the sea of people for the same reason.

Finally after a few minutes I spotted a gaggle of red hair. That had to be them. I dragged Sirius and the kids down the platform until we caught up with Ron and Hermione. We said our hellos and then Hermione asked Gemma if she was excited.

Gemma was looking around nervously."I'm not sure I want to go." She looked at me fearfully.

I hugged her "I don't want you to go, but I know you'll have fun. It'll be like Christmas, half of your family's there." I told her. "Besides, James is in 7th year now, he'll watch out for you."

I couldn't believe my little James Potter was 17; it made my heart hurt thinking about it.

"Where's Rose?" I asked Ron and he gave me a death glare. What had I said?

"Rose is dating Scorpius Malfoy, she went over there to find him." Hermione filled me in. "Ron refuses to talk about it."

Poor Ron his only daughter dating a Malfoy, but I assumed he had to be a good kid, if Rose was with him; she was a smart girl.

Sirius threw an arm around me. "I'm glad everyone I wouldn't want my daughter to date, is my close relative." He said thankfully.

"Yeah but everyone we would want her to date is a close relative too." I reminded him. He seemed somewhat relieved. "Then, I guess she just won't date" he said happily. Gemma was a daddy's girl and I think Sirius would castrate any boy who looked at her.

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At 10 minutes to 11 James, Lily and Al came bounding towards us followed by a worn looking Ginny and Harry. "James, come here" I said and pulled him aside. We walked over away from the rest of the family a little. "Watch out for her okay" I told him pointing to Gemma "She's really nervous." I instructed him. She'll be fine, I have other ladies to attend to" He said turning his head to wink at some poor girl.

Ugh, he was as bad as my husband. "If you don't I'll tell your mom about your little excursion to the Muggle jail." I threatened him and he agreed. Two weeks prior I had gotten a phone call at 4 in the morning from him begging me to bail him out of jail. Apparently being pissed out of your mind and peeing on a police station was frowned upon in England. Of course I did get him out, and had been sworn to secrecy. Jen, James and were Partners in crime, and sometimes we let Sirius into the club, but Ginny would scalp me if she knew that her child was a criminal and I hadn't told her about it.

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Jen and Charlie had found us and Dorian was dragging his owl behind him. He was starting his second year, so at least Gemma had someone close to her age.

"I don't like this one bit Jen." I confided in my oldest friend.

"I know, our parents threatened boarding school as the ultimate punishment, I'd never thought I would be sending my kid there, or that he would be happy going." She admitted shaking her head at Dorian who was talking animatedly with Hugo.

The train conductor called the final boarding as the hands on the clock neared 11. I walked over to Gemma. "I love you, be a good girl okay." I said hugging her as tight as I could, holding back tears. She promised she would and then Sirius tore me off of her to have his turn. He hugged her goodbye, told her to remember the curses he had taught her and if any boys got fresh to kick them in the balls. Gem rolled her eyes at him but swore she would do as he said.

My heart broke into a million pieces as she followed her cousins onto that train. I clung to Nix tightly as Sirius threw an arm around me and told me everything would be fine, she would be home at Christmas after all. The whistle blew and the train was enveloped in a thick cloud of smoke as it pulled out of the station. I stood on the platform until it was completely out of sight.

"Well, I know I need a drink" Sirius said to me and I agreed. "Maybe Ginny will watch the kids tonight so we can go get hammered." I suggested. Ginny agreed to this plan as she too had sent her children off to Hogwarts and knew the heartbreak of it.

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Sirius and I sat at the Leaky Cauldron wasted, reminiscing about whatever drunk people reminisce about after a bottle of vodka.

"I miss her" I cried. "I miss her too" Sirius said miserably and took another shot.

"I think you two have had enough" Hannah the bartender told us as she confiscated our bottle. I tried to protest but fell off the barstool in the process. Maybe she was right. Sirius, ever the gentleman, sat there and laughed his ass off for a good 2 minutes before helping me off the floor.

"Bastard" I muttered as I snuggled wobbly into him.

"It'll be okay darling we'll just go home and then we can make more babies." He promised.

I in my stupor, thought this was a great idea, of course we could just replace our older children with new ones.

"I really need to quit drinking, every time I get trashed I end up pregnant." Sirius shrugged. "I can't help it if liquor makes you insatiable." I squinted my eyes at him, "yes Sirius that's exactly what happens."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, that is what contraceptive potions are for."

Famous last words.

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Thats it guys, Hope you liked it. and thanks again for reading!


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